It’s A Party and You’re Invited … But You Can’t Bring Your Story

Wouldn’t Life Be Blissful Without Our Stories?

without your story

“Who would you be without your story?” – Byron Katie

As I was relaxing in the hot tub in silence, watching the evening light fade … I had such a fabulous, liberating idea …

For months now, I have been sitting in the unknown, absolutely and totally dissatisfied with “life as we know it.” Today I even recorded a video that went like this: “Even though I’ve done too much healing, I should have stopped years ago, now I can’t relate to anyone or anything in this world anymore …” Lol :)

You know, inspirational figure Byron Katie has been asking the question for years: “Who would you be without your story?”

And then as I sat there in quiet solitude, soaking, it came to me.

A new kind of social event. A totally different kind of party than you have ever experienced before.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, is allowed to bring their story.
You come to this party naked. And I don’t mean clothing naked, though without your story, who knows what would happen? I mean you come to us totally clean, naked of the stories you’ve been telling about yourself your whole life.

Think how radical an idea this is …

Without your story, we do not want to hear about your family or your children or your partner.

Without your story, there can be ZERO rules or restrictions or preconceived notions about “your” partner and what he or she can or can’t do with anyone else.

We don’t want to hear the “story” of how you met. In fact, we don’t even want to hear any “titles” used. The terms husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, and so forth … all nixed. That is ALL part of your story.

We don’t want to hear about “what you do” for a living. It doesn’t matter. We don’t want to hear about your illnesses and problems. We don’t want to hear about your sexual preferences. That’s all part of your story.

We don’t want to hear about your past and we don’t want to hear about your future. All of that is story.

We don’t want to hear about astrology. We don’t want to hear your spiritual cliches. We don’t want to know how you got here, all we care about is you’re here now.

So what’s left?

Being. Communion. Togetherness.

And I’d be willing to bet a lot of money it would feel far more connected than anyone has ever felt with their story.

Who would you be without your story? How would a social event or party be for you without your story?

Who wants to try it? :)

Erika Awakening

Non-Refundable Sex Manifesto

What will it take for people to commit to turning every “negative” experience into something positive instead of running away?

broken family

Most people have not learned the skills and commitment they need to transform negative energy in relationships and get the miracle

If I could make sex non-refundable, I would. One of the biggest problems we see throughout our society is the overall pattern of pleasure-seeking and pain-avoidance (I call this the “hamster wheel,” which you can read more about here). This pattern leaves people uncommitted and unskilled in dealing with negative experiences and makes any real transformation nearly impossible. Oh for sure there are some who seek pain as well, but not to transform it, only to recreate it over and over again in a ritual so hopeless and pointless it defies logic or words. Nowhere are these patterns more obvious than in the “special relationship” where most people only stay as long as their ego identity (whether “good” or “bad”) is being propped up by the other person. Whereas for relationships to be truly healing in any way, rather than perpetuating co-dependent pain/pleasure patterns, one must go beyond pain and pleasure to real transformation. This means no longer seeking for pleasure in any form (which includes “approval,” one of the most manipulative devices on the planet) and no longer avoiding pain but rather transforming it.

Without incredibly developed transformation skills, people will not be able to tolerate the “yucky” transitional feelings of real transformation and will rationalize why they should “bail” from relationships. This running away short-circuits the healing process. Real transformation can feel very, very intense. And it will be too overwhelming for the untrained. They will mis-perceive themselves as being “under attack” or the relationship as “incompatible” or some other bullshit justification, without doing the transformation required to resolve whatever issues are coming to the surface. Which is why I simply will not get involved in any more sexual or romantic relationships with anyone who is not as committed to my healing method as I am.

To use an analogy, when I decided to make all of my products non-refundable, that was a very conscious decision. It is not unusual for a customer to purchase something from me and then “freak out” because their ego knows full well that its end is near if they commit to my method. I’ve had people have technical issues with a product that NOBODY else is having. I check their account and it’s working perfectly but they can’t get it to work. In these situations, many would ask for a refund if it were available. And they would therefore miss out on the HUGE opportunity for transformation. They are suffering from “psychological reversal” and because they have no choice but to stick it out, I can help them identify why they are resisting their own transformation and help them clear it. And then guess what happens when they follow my advice? The product starts working again without me doing anything physical to it.

Similarly, the other day we were having strange issues with the How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping and the 30-Day Anger Releasing Challenge. Normally a website owner would think “I need to fix this technical issue.” But someone highly trained in listening to the messages of the Universe understands this differently. The Universe was letting us know what “psychological reversal” we all needed to clear to get the products working again. In my private Facebook group, I gave my customers guidance from my intuition about how to use these technical issues as an opportunity for clearing. I followed my own advice, the same advice I had given them about clearing anger and abundance blocks – and after I did so, $8000 arrived in my inbox in TWO DAYS.

It’s the folks who quit in the middle who never see their miracles. It’s why my coaching policies are so stringent. Of all the people who ever took my 15-Week Miracle Coaching Program, I only had one ever quit in the middle. Predictably he blamed me for the entire situation even though he had no-showed for several of the sessions we did schedule and refused to do the homework. Of the many others who’ve taken the program, there were quite a few who might have quit if it weren’t for my policies. In many cases, the miracle happened right after the point of highest “tension” when they would have been most likely to quit. Very similar to what happened with Fritz the Cat when he was in the hospital.

People would have the same redemptive experiences in relationships but most don’t have the skills, the commitment, the courage, the integrity, the understanding, the self-awareness, or the tools to do so … And that is where I am simply no longer willing to go along with the mainstream patterns. In my view, sex is non-refundable. You want to have it with me? Then make a commitment to learn the skills to be able to stick it out even when the heat gets turned up very, very high. Make the same commitment I made with my cat to save him from kidney failure when the ego wanted me to concede defeat. Learn how to get the miracle in EVERY situation. Otherwise, I have more fulfilling things to do with my time. Thank you for listening.


Erika Awakening, Teaching People How to Create Everyday Miracles at TAPsmarter

Erika Awakening is one of the world’s foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and living life on your own terms.

The problem with our judgments and “righteous indignation”

Judgments and “Righteous Indignation” – How can we have more compassion for ourselves and everyone else?

Do any of these judgments and “righteous indignation” sound familiar to you? ;)

a course in miracles“She’s not worth my time!”

“She’s crazy!”

“He must have been mentally ill.”

“I’m only going to hang out with ‘higher vibration’ people.”

We do this all day long. Judge ourselves and other people and tell ourselves stories. We do it every time uncomfortable feelings arise in us. Our judgments and “justified” righteous indignation are keeping us trapped in a world of hate and violence.

Judging others does not demonstrate in any way that we are “superior” to them. It demonstrates that we don’t get it yet and we have a lot to learn. Maybe it’s time for a new approach.

I woke up this morning up thinking of a cliche about yesterday’s article. If you missed it, I wrote yesterday about a woman who was triggered by something I did and lashed out at me in anger and pain. And I was thinking about how this might be written in a lot of articles we see on the internet.

People often call this kind of triggered behavior “difficult to love.” We might say something like “thank you for loving me when I was most difficult to love.” And I thought to myself, “you know, she’s not difficult to love. She’s easy to love. She’s just like me. A person in pain who is lashing out.” Nothing difficult to love about it. When my cat does it, I have no difficulty loving him anyway. In fact, sometimes it’s actually cute and endearing. I see the needs behind his “acting out.” His acting out gives me an opportunity to practice compassion and deeper listening.

The reason we find people “difficult to love” is that we don’t love ourselves. We still believe that attack and judgment means something, that our anger is justified. We still believe our stories. That’s what makes it difficult. If we saw that attack and judgment are meaningless, we could easily see through the noise and see a small child thinking he is powerless and having a tantrum. It’s not difficult to love. It’s easy to love. And in learning how to love the one acting out, we learn how to love ourselves.

I caught myself doing it a few days ago. A much older and married man who has asked me out many times suddenly appeared out of nowhere and asked me out again. It triggers uncomfortable feelings in me, like revulsion and anger. I could tell you that my feelings are because of who he is and what he is doing.

Why doesn’t he get it yet? I’m not interested. What a lecherous, disgusting person he is. He doesn’t even see me, has shown no interest in delving into the transformation that I practice every day, yet he thinks I’m going with a married man to foreign countries and that I’d actually be up for that? Ugh … horror!!!

But you see … he’s not even there. He only exists in my mind. In my own mind, where I have painted an ugly mirror of myself and where I am practicing self-hatred that is projected onto him. If I continue to pretend to myself that he is anything other than a figment of my twisted ego imagination, I am powerless. I can “give in” or avoid him, I can hate him and judge him, I can feel disgusted by him … and all I do with any of those options is proclaim that I am a pathetic and powerless version of myself. A victim of the world I see. All I do by choosing any of those options is perpetuate my story and continue to live in a world that is perilous and ugly.

It’s the same thing the woman who lashed out at me yesterday is doing. In her own mind, she has a bunch of stories going about how I wronged her and all the horrible consequences of it in her life. When the truth is, I didn’t do anything and there are no consequences. Except the ones she makes up in her own mind … And her escape from pain is the same as mine … She must change her mind about the world she sees.

So what do we do about all this? Well, most of us are way too fixated on doing. And by the way, let us not deceive ourselves. Avoidance and stonewalling are forms of “doing.” Nor would I ever recommend “giving in” to anyone. If ever there was a recipe for misery, it is believing our story and then compromising because we don’t think we can do any better.

Nope, the answer is simple. We must change our minds. We must see that our stories are baloney and every image we see is something we made up in our own mind. Reacting to it as if it is real only perpetuates the story and makes the trap tighter and harder to escape.

If we will simply step back, not with avoidance but with compassion … and see ourselves in the other person. If we will say to ourselves, over and over again, “Truth will correct all errors in my mind” … we will see the world begin to change.

What if we could allow people the room to self-correct? Our stories lock the image in our mind beyond any hope of change. When we detach from the story, we open up a space where truth can correct all errors in our minds.

As it says in A Course in Miracles, we have spent many years attempting to justify our judgments. And it has only made us miserable. Wouldn’t we be better off without them?

“Now you have reached the turning point, because it has occurred to you that you will gain if what you have decided is not so. Until this point is reached, you will believe your happiness depends on being right. But this much reason have you now attained; you would be better off if you were wrong.”

– A Course in Miracles


Erika Awakening, Teaching People How to Create Everyday Miracles at TAPsmarter

Erika Awakening is one of the world’s foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and living life on your own terms.