How to Attract Money with EFT TappingI’m so deep in the unknown right now that if I remembered how to be scared, I’d be scared shitless.

Thing is … I don’t know if I remember how to be scared.

I’ve been teaching people for a long time now to follow their intuition even when it sounds “crazy” to everyone else. And since I started meditating in late 2005 and began following my intuition, it really has not led me astray. There were certainly some parts of the journey that my ego judged as “wrong,” specifically every sexual encounter I’ve had and regretted. But in the big scheme of things, even those experiences were leading me to the right path by process of elimination. No more sex. Check.

But you see, that’s how I got into this business. I taught seduction and bought in with everyone else to the idea of sexual healing and masculine/feminine energy and the whole nine yards.

And now I don’t believe any of it anymore. The more tapping I did, the more I could see how the ego was just creating pain and misery for everyone through polarities and special relationships. And I continue to be very authentic about where I’m at with all this.

Which frankly puts me at odds with most of the rest of the world. I’ve called out the “sacred sex” community as a bunch of bullshit. I’m musing publicly about the end of sex and special relationships. Even my customers and clients who have been very loyal to me (for which I am extremely grateful) … are sometimes questioning me, looking a little sideways about it all, thinking maybe I’m just not in a good space right now … lol …

To the ego, that’s really scary. I’m basically immune to social opinion … but survival needs like money … well, I still have them. I would like to eradicate the need for money and am working on it, and I’m not there yet …

And the question looms: how the hell are you going to make money telling people about the end of sex and the possible end of money and that they need to stop eating meat and stop having special relationships? How the hell are you going to meet your survival needs?

The answer: I don’t know. All I can tell you is that I walk in faith.

So here I am, and granted I’m in a pretty fortunate position. Through the power of my holistic healing method, I was able to quit my job and pay off hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. I am debt-free. I’ve simplified my life enough that expenses are lower than they used to be. But most of my money is not liquid, and there are still large expenses. Running websites, utilities and maintenance, rent in San Francisco, property taxes, insurance, the list goes on and on … and though I’ve considered letting go one of the places that I live, there’s actually no financial advantage of doing so. So I nixed that idea.

Then I scroll through my News Feed, and I see the people selling sex and special relationships, and I think damn that’s so easy to sell and so much baloney. I cannot go back to that with any integrity. It’s over. It’s done.

I was never a people pleaser. That seems to be a hundred fold now.
I simply cannot and will not adjust the truth to pander to people’s sensitivities. Most healers and coaches are teaching watered-down versions of transformation that are accomplishing little or no actual healing. It is as useless as it is palatable and popular. People as a rule do not have the foggiest understanding of how the hologram works or their role in it. And I am not going to be silent about it.

Sometimes I even feel like a “pariah.” Like I have burned almost every bridge in my life and there is no turning back. And yet I have no regrets. If the bridge is corrupt, it’s going to break someday anyway. May as well burn it. Relationships in this world are – for the most part – a heap of steaming bullshit. I place no value in them other than maintaining my integrity and serving people as best I can. Which, quite frankly, often means offending them into awakening.

There is a thriving EFT tapping community these days, and it doesn’t resonate with me at all. I’m not interested in teaching beginners. And they as a group seem totally uninterested in getting out of their comfort zone and facing the deeper issues.

I view myself right now as a pariah. I’m the kid who is being honest that the Emperor has no clothes. Everyone knows it, but nobody wants to admit it. Well, if I must be a pariah, then so be it. I’m not going to pretend the Emperor has clothes. He doesn’t.

I also find myself less and less interested in taking on private clients. I love the ones I have, but the idea of recruiting new ones just doesn’t feel very appealing.

I do not know where this is going. And in the past I would have been really scared. But now I can look back on so many times I was scared … when I almost died, when my business wasn’t turning around, when I quit my job, when my cat had kidney failure, abundant haters reaming me all over the internet, when money was stolen from me in Costa Rica, the recent ski accident … and God always came through for me. I quit my job three years ago. Since then, no matter how stressed I got about it, the money I needed always showed up for me to pay my bills. Every single time.

Let me say it again: I don’t know where this is going. Usually I can think of good ways to make money. Usually I can think of new ways to connect with people. Usually I have some sense of direction. Right now I have neither the motivation nor the ideas. In fact, for the most part, I really don’t give a fuck.

The one main idea that keeps coming to me is “I need money solved permanently. I need to have absolute freedom to follow my healing intuition without regard to money.” And I have no idea where a solution that big is going to come from …

So that’s our radical honesty for the day … :) I guess it goes along with the theme of our last article, lol: Is God a dick, or just a master of comedy? Cuz I sure never envisioned I’d find myself in this place … and I especially never envisioned that the most powerful voice in me right now would not be fear but faith.

Erika Awakening