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My First Wobbly Steps Out of Celibacy …

The Process of Becoming Fearless About Sex

celibacyI feel breathless scared right now. I’m finally returning to the San Francisco Bay Area after a couple weeks in Tahoe and my lover made another date with me for when I return home. I feel absolutely terrified. And that is a great thing! :)

It has not been all rainbows and unicorns since I ended two years of celibacy and had sexual intercourse with him a few weeks ago. We’ve had some wonderful feeling conversations, and we’ve had some really emotionally charged and disconnected-feeling conversations. In some ways, my old pattern of post-sex relationship sabotage was starting to play itself out again.

Yet I have done a LOT of EFT tapping since the last time I had sex. And something is truly different now. I can see what is happening. I can see my patterns. That makes all the difference.

A few days ago, I had a pretty huge realization and wanted to share for those who might find it helpful for their own awakening journey. My relationship issue for a long time has been less around jealousy and more around sex. For some reason, actual penetrative sexual intercourse affects me emotionally in a very intense way. At this point, I am persuaded that it’s NOT just a “hormonal” reaction. And really it only started happening after my spiritual journey began, so it seems to be more about awakening than hormones.

Things were feeling very intense last week with my new lover … disproportionately intense to anything that was actually happening … At first I got sucked back into the pattern. I was being reactive to him, and a little bit rigid and demanding. Yet unlike in the past, I was not totally engulfed in it this time. The noticer in me was noticing what was happening. One day when it got overwhelmingly intense, I stepped back and got really present with what I was FEELING. I went out to the ski slopes by myself and felt everything that was coming up in my body. Good God, it felt intense. It took full application of all the self-development skills that I have learned over the years not to keep reacting to the feeling of intensity that wanted to run old ego scripts and blow up the relationship.

In the midst of this intensity and overwhelm, something finally connected for me. I realized that this FEELING of intensity is exactly what has happened every time I’ve had sexual intercourse (which is very few times) over the past bunch of years. I’m an empath normally but what’s been happening is that the empathic experience gets intensified about a hundred fold in the weeks after I have sexual intercourse. So not only can I pick up on emotional stuff with my lover even if I’m not physically with him, it’s like I can feel everyone and everything in the Universe, and it’s super INTENSE. Overwhelmingly intense. Energetic incongruities seem magnified to the extreme.

Dominical-ErikaBeachSexyAnyway, my lover and I managed to communicate through this turbulence and I felt a big shift. A few things that had felt so very important to get clear about with him IMMEDIATELY then didn’t feel so urgent. As the intensity began to lessen, and I could see the pattern clearly, I felt more willing to “go with the flow” and allow our relationship to unfold instead of needing certainty about everything right now. I realize now that the perceived need for certainty was arising out of the feeling of intensity. The feeling of intensity had me feeling so out of control that I wanted to grasp on to something to feel more stable and centered. Yet now that I can see the pattern, I don’t need that certainty anymore. I can reach back inside myself and feel the stable center within me.

I can also see the gift in the intensity now. And this is the most exciting part of all! I can see now that sex is opening me in a really radical way. It is enhancing my sensitivity, my ability to feel, my ability to experience Oneness with the world around me. If I can just get present with the intensity instead of shutting down, my guess is that this is going to open up entirely new possibilities in my life …

So … I’m feeling grateful for seeing clearly a pattern that has really been interfering with my ability and willingness to go deeper in multiple relationships. My “solution” for this extreme emotional experience until now has been celibacy and I’m not willing to go back to that … going to keep moving into the intensity and releasing it.

What’s amazing about how breathless scared I feel right now about seeing my lover in a few days is … it no longer feels like it’s going to capsize my ship and capsize the relationship. It just feels like the first wobbly steps out of celibacy … and into sexual freedom. Which I celebrate today with a very happy heart :)

Love,
Erika Awakening

If you missed our earlier articles about monogamy, check them out here:

What Is Monogamy?

The Quiet Desperation of Monogamy

Five Reasons Why Monogamy Is An Absolute Bar to World Peace

How Monogamy Is Like Racial Segregation

How Specialness Ruined Sex for Everyone

Saving the Planet One “Orgy” At A Time

Love,

Erika Awakening, Teaching People How to Create Everyday Miracles at TAPsmarter

Erika Awakening is one of the world’s foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and living life on your own terms.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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Comments

  1. Charles Ulysses Farley says:

    I resonated with some of your post. I too m strongly empathic. I can feel what people r describing (I make a conscious effort not to crawl into their heads so that I can live autonomously). I m often moved deeply by art, most often performance art. I feel powerfully. I love deeply and readily. I've tutored male friends on honing greater sexual prowess through reaching out empathically to their partners for deeper connection, communication, understanding and responsiveness. They've all gone on to be highly sought after lovers.
    I consciously seek daily to deepen the intimacy in my relationships. To me that is the point of life, ever increasing connectedness/connection, both depth and breadth.
    I too feel (perhaps too intensely) the rising surge of emotionality and connection when I truly connect sexually w a partner. It can be overwhelming. I give myself over to it. I let it wash over me. I accept it. I feel it. By allowing myself to feel, it most fully, holding back nothing, I have no regrets no unresolved turmoil, no questions unanswered. I sleep soundly knowing that I gave all. I give of myself completely. Of course that scares people. It triggers distrust/suspicion/skepticism. It is uncommon.
    I risk judgment, derision, scorn, exploitation. But I always risk all those things anyway. Don't we all? The only difference is that I get to be me, someone I like, and not somebody I pretend to be, contorted and distorted for those who would judge me (and will regardless) whose opinions don't matter.
    So don't be afraid of intensity. Intensity is wonderful, envigorating, stimulating. To fear feeling, intensity, is to live in fear. Anxiety is fear of feelings. Intensity is feeling strongly. To quote my favorite song "if we are here not to do, what you and I wanna do and go forever crazy with it, why the hell are we even here?"
    We r not perfect. We r all of us works in progress. We can only strive for improvement. Life is a gift. You only have 1 (as far as we know). Don't let anybody else live yours for you. Cherish each day, each moment, as the gift that it is, in the present time and place, with whoever you choose to spend it with. If you only live once, live with no regrets, don't apologize, forgive, love,
    -for tomorrow we die.

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hi Charles, Welcome to the blog. I’m with you about living fearlessly …. until we get to “tomorrow we die.” I don’t believe in death. Long story. Cheers :)

  2. Thanks for commenting Adam :)

  3. Adam Cotton says:

    A very interesting read Erika thanks for sharing love learning about the female mind

  4. kesavan says:

    Good Morning Erika, The litmus Test for Feasibility of my actions is Peace of mind. If peace of mind is increased my answer is correct and otherwise, there are yet some thing to be corrected at the level of conscious patterns. When the pattern converges in to the smallest and brightest Point of Divine Source in the heart, I become Almighty to cure each of my cell in body and mind is releaved to take a voyage far and wide inside and out to scan any heart and flovour in the Universe. Be happy and settled to lead me to enlightenment. Thank You Once again Erika.

  5. Ivan says:

    Erika, I love your braveness and your constant drive to get to the next level of consciousness. I believe a big part of this quality I have developed in me in the last few years comes from learning from you :) Continue the great work!

  6. kesavan says:

    To my opinion, Sex is nesting of Life-Spirit, the God, making a new Temple, the human Body, and as such being diwine an ordeal, howmany of us can avoid sex , but enjoying meditatively is quite realization of the Author inside is introspection.

  7. Virginia Vega says:

    Erika, funny coincidence how I am going through the EXACT SAME THING, I tend to get very intense after having sex with someone, and the intensity hurts when I suppress it and I want to reach out to the person and demand more time, or more commitment so my pain can go away. This girl I am currently seeing is being patient enough so that when I get my intensity relapses, she is willing to listen and i tell her to not give up on me, because I am trying to make our open relationship, a healing relationship. I am grateful that all this "synchronicity" is happening, it baffles me, amazes me. I would love to share more about this with you in private sometime, you are helping SO MUCH. Blessings!

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Wow I am so glad I wrote this – women are coming out of the woodwork to share their experiences, and I am not alone! Thank you Virginia for that very vulnerable sharing and maybe we need to have more blog posts about this ….

  8. Lucy Goose Hind says:

    This definitely rings a bell with me! The whole feeling of intensity in the weeks after sex. For the first few days I feel on top of the world and then all of a sudden I am overcome by such intense emotion that it breaks me down and if I'm not careful then I tend to take it out on the people around me. Mostly whoever it is that I'm seeing. It's like a constant struggle to get out of it and the more I fight, the more I feel stuck. I am also an empath and when I am connected to someone emotionally, I can feel every emotion that they feel even when they're on the other side of the country and even on a different continent! It drives me crazy but it's definitely something that I need to work on. xx

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hi Lucy, thanks so much for sharing. Yea for years I bought into the interpretation that this is a hormonal “oxytocin” thing but it’s not. It’s something else. And yes the empath thing can get very intense, especially after sex. I hope you will continue to share here, maybe we need more articles about this.

      • Lucy says:

        Yes! Definitely more articles. I am interested to know more about how it affects you and how you deal with releasing it. :) Thank you for sharing!

  9. Chris Halliday says:

    This sounds extremely familiar. I've just ended a relationship with someone who followed the same patterns of behaviour, demanding certainty in all things and getting quite aggressive when I couldn't fulfill that need.

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hi Chris, wow I’m receiving a lot of comments from people here and elsewhere from women who can relate to what I wrote …

      My question for you is … how did you show up for her when this happened? Did you look past her superficial behavior to the deeper needs she was expressing? I ask because it’s so easy for us to let relationships be capsized when this happens. The pattern has been interrupted here only because my partner and I were SO committed to showing up for each other even when the ego wanted to separate us.

      There was one night when I had absolutely hit my emotional limit, and my heart was closing to him. Before I went to bed, I expressed this as openly as I could … “I’m sorry this is too intense for me, my heart is shutting down anyway. I told you when we talked what happens for me [when I have sex], and I thought I was past it but I’m not. I’m trying to will [my heart] to stay open but it won’t.” He responded to me first thing the next morning and I was in too much intensity to read it so I didn’t.

      In fact, to interrupt my own pattern, I stopped checking his messages for almost a day and I went to the ski slopes as described in this article. When I finally saw my pattern, I posted about it on Facebook, and he put a very supportive comment embracing my vulnerability.

      When I did finally check the message he had sent me in the morning, it said this: “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you are ready.” And a Brene Brown video link lol – which showed we were both on the same wavelength, we both knew deep down that vulnerability would save our relationship.

      That totally opened my heart to him again. I say all this to ask you – how did you show up for your partner when she started to shut down?

      • kesavan says:

        It is not shutting down but upgrading love, from Selfish love to Divine Universal love and never separate such a person because by that she don’t loose anything but you does shut down a natural path to fulfilment of the destiny of this life. Thank You Chris.

  10. David Pullen says:

    I have to admit…Philippe Lewis has got GAME! He's got you, his wife, and whoever else he's bedding buying into his BS. Oh sure…he's great at selling it, because he actually believes it himself!!…but nothing is new under the sun. It's just another way to get as much ass as he can in his lifetime…and now he has yours too!

    And you wonder why you are feeling such "intensity" after not having sex for 2 years? (which surprises me, given your feelings on monogamy.) Well, you have now given your body to a married man, one with many other lovers, one who you KNOW will never love you COMPLETELY…only "temporarily" when HE decides he wants to "hook-up", and one who will NEVER be there..body, soul, and spirit for you (oh sure, he will says he will be) when YOU need or want him to be. Then again..you may not want him to be…just go find another man that can take his place…how about tonight?

    Is this what you really WANT? If you truly believe what you write…why aren't you out there having multiple lovers like this man? Why so "intense" about having sex?

    Well, even in your "post-feminine" world, sex for a woman IS different than for a man…no matter how much you rationalize it and catagorize it…men see sex different.
    Yes, you (and Philippe) can spout the "free love" doctrine so many different ways until the cows come home…but the fact remains, men and women (at least those not under Philippe's BS game) view having sex from ENTIRELY different perspectives.

    I can guarantee you, Philippe isn't feeling so "intense" about his experience with you now… oh, he WAS at a certian point in time…but it's "come" and gone now….

    Until next time!

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Phew … lot of beliefs in there and this comment doesn’t feel very connecting or authentic to me.

    • Philippe says:

      David, you seems to have a clear and definite pulse on a relationship you’re not even remotely a part of, and with people you don’t really know. Heck, you seem to know what’s happening even better than we do. So I’m not sure what else to say other than it’s a bit difficult to take your words seriously.

      I think Erika did a fantastic job engaging you in a conversation. I look forward to seeing how willing you are to jump in and reach a terrain where we all get to see each other well and clearly.

      • Rachelle Roose says:

        Funny thing, in reading some of Erika’s other posts I was getting the pressing feeling that she had been influenced by someone in the community that would break her of her celibacy. Someone that had to be extremely influential and charismatic. Ironically (and this most certainly will come across in a negative manner, apologies upfront, but needs to be said) not knowing either of you, it’s funny that I stumbled across the “Saving the planet one “orgy” at a time” and this post only to find Philippe Lewis was involved.

        I do not know either of you personally, but I actually deleted Philippe from my friends list on fb about 6 months back as I could not stomach the sleaziness of how he presented himself on a social platform.

        David Pullen, I am with you 100% that this man is a stealthy fox at manipulating words and pulling his charm to work his way into as many woman’s panties as he can muster. The feeling that this man evokes in me is complete and utter discomfort…. via internet ALL the way on the opposite coast of the country, mind you!

        Erika, of course your feeling an extreme intensity post sex – it’s called dopamine, norepinephrine, testosterone, oxytocin and serotonin… it’s what keeps the body wanting more, it’s a biological/physiological reaction to sex.. sad that several years celibacy was thrown out for this guy….

        And I’m sure he’s got you eating it up with a spoon, while he’s got another notch to mark in his bedpost. What a shame.

        Moving on……

      • I am not a body I am free.

        And I don’t think you know anything about this man. All I hear are assumptions. I’ve been deleted by many people on Facebook myself … for example, for standing up for animals. I lost 10 friends in less than 24 hours two days ago due to a post confronting people about the truth of eating meat – that the practice of eating meat reflects a lack of self-love. That my posts or my presence triggers discomfort in a lot of people means nothing about its value or its truth.

        Again, my friend, I thank you for participating in the conversation. You’re welcome back anytime. :)

      • Rachelle Roose says:

        Kuddos on the animal rights, I’m right there with you…. make sure you are going a step further by not supporting the byproduct market of the meat and dairy industry, leather/suede / mass manufactured honey etc products… and purchasing products that are cruelty free. Corn syrup, overabundant cattle corn, supporting the organic market, non-gmo and right on down the line! We need more on this side of the fence, so keep recruiting!

        As far as the rest, I’ll only post here to say that I hope that your sexual endeavors bring you everything you are looking (or not) looking for!

        Blessings!

      • Erika Awakening says:

        I’m glad we’re on the same page on these values at least :)

      • Philippe says:

        Ah Rachelle, your post reminds me so much of David’s with a good deal of assumptions and caricature. You do seem to like the evil archetype you made up of me more then any remote desire to get to know me. And this brings the value of your words way down into irrelevance.

        See, it’s clear as day that both of you have chosen to believe in a fantasy — without much proof — rather than making the efforts to disprove it by getting curious. It shows a strong bias towards early judgment which then in turn shows as a deep lack of ability to perceive the world well — otherwise you would see deeper and better than the words you have been writing, and in that case you would actually manage to nail me in some ways while at the same time realizing that the same faults (which you didn’t actually nail but might have) are also inside of you lying dormant, ready to be awakened by the right events. And from there your words would have compassion, generosity and love (while yours — and David’s — are devoid of it). This unfortunately leaves few explanations other than something deep inside of you is hurt or in pain, and your and David’s post are simply an expression of it, and your lack of perceptiveness shows how strong your shell is, preventing not only any ability to perceive, but also a great deal of love and compassion from going in either direction.

        Oh well.

        And I might totally be wrong and you are really a wonderful person. But wonderful people get loving and curious in the presence of strange and extreme, not nasty. So you tell me.

      • Erika Awakening says:

        seems we humans only lash out when we are in pain. I did a couple times with Philippe and I feel sad about it. in my pain, I could not see him. only when I got present with everything and my pain subsided and we talked about values could I see him again as he is. beautiful soul

      • Rachelle Roose says:

        Listen, I have already expended far too much time and energy on this, and I told myself that I would not put one more ounce of my valuable time towards something that has no weight or merit in my life.

        In this point of our collective evolution, we proceed ourselves by our virtual representation of our “selves”… therefore I have only to base any opinion of you, Phillipe, on what you have presented on fb (your virtual representation). I do not know you personally. At the time I deleted you, you were presenting the idea of “playing small” by staying home with your family and not being able to be who “you” really where – full manifestations of what you perceive yourself to be – whatever that title is… implications being there was internal conflict between staying home and being a father/husband as opposed to being able to go out and spread your gift/love/seed – insert your own description here. There is an energy that can be sensed and felt regardless of the constraints of time and distance – hence the possibilities of distance healing and the like. The energy I was getting from Philippe was very heavy/misguided and yes, sleazy. I have only to rely on my senses. And since I have devoted my life to releasing any energies that are not conducive to my optimal growth and well being, the only option for me was to remove – hence the delete.

        Since we are mutable beings, and our boundaries are pliable, I have taken the stance of presenting the best representation of myself – I am selective about who and what I let in my life – as we should be. It is unhealthy to have chakras that are fully open at all times (this is why they are symbolized as the lotus, with the ability to open and close as needed) as we are left vulnerable to absorbing unnecessary negative energies. And this is not to say that being vulnerable is always a bad thing, nor pain, nor anger – which yes, I can comfortably say I do have ALL of – and I have embraced each as such. Sometimes the greatest moments of growth spring directly from/after the greatest moments of pain. Childbirth as the biggest example – don’t really need to elaborate much beyond this.

        I just don’t personally jive with someone who puts a greater priority to spreading love to the outer community over first taking care of his own inner circle. It evokes a feeling of someone who is at unrest within themselves, and looking for immediate gratification through sexual fulfillment. And from some of Erika’s past posts on this site, such as the one about here ex (don’t recall the specific title offhand) her virtual representation tells me that she is a woman that has been scorned/emotionally damaged, and is vulnerable to sexual predators. She also presents herself as an open book when it comes to sex, so what man wouldn’t be all over that! And when you haven’t had sex in two + years, what man saying the right things wouldn’t get those apprehensive hormones and juices flowing…. we (our bodies, specifically) ARE animals and have animalistic desires. Any man who says (paraphrasing, don’t remember verbatim) “I’m down to go downstairs and FUCK” – is not the gracious gentleman and lover. He is a man, that wants to FUCK. In the cyber world, you are what you present.

        That being said, I refuse to have someone tell me that I can only achieve optimal growth by opening myself to multiple sexual partners. And comparing it to apartheid and the Nazis, which is really just ludicrous in my book. These tragedies where about social elitism and selectivity; people believing that anyone who did not share the same heritage/culture/ideals (whatever) were unworthy/subservient.

        Which is what I feel you are presenting, Erika – that anyone who is limiting themselves to one sexual partner is in some way not up to par with your standards. And that, to me, is a cult like mentality.

        I am open to my modifying my initial perception of someone at any and all times, however, distance not permitting, I choose not to. And that is the beauty of free will and personal choice. I would rather expend my time and energy on my core family and surroundings and then beyond for what’s left to give.

        So with that, as two conscious individuals, feel free to whatever it is you feel necessary to continue on your path(s) of personal growth and evolution. And I will do the same… And as for this conversation, call it what you will, and come to whatever conclusions you would like to about me – I have, after all, put it up in in the virtual world for viewing. I will be making no further responses after this.

        Blessings, Namaste to you both!

      • Erika Awakening says:

        Hi Rachelle,

        Wow lot of assumptions in there. I mean we could talk for days about every sentence you wrote before we’d really understand each other.

        I personally appreciate Philippe’s honesty very much in voicing an inner conflict that many people are either too unconscious or too scared to express. By giving voice to it, he helps many others feel safe expressing themselves and getting clarity about values.

        And yes in my value system, giving our energy to the collective instead of perceived “personal interests” (of which we actually have none in truth) is far more important than you seem to suggest. My guess though is if we actually sat down and had a real conversation, my perspective on this would no longer seem so strange …

        cheers,
        Erika

      • Philippe says:

        Rachelle,

        I’ll just say this, with deep heart and respect: I really appreciated reading you and feeling you, and as much as one can understand where someone else can come from via words on a comment thread, I believe I get you and how/why you wrote your earlier words and the ones you just wrote now. They feel good/right to me, and I appreciate you for it. So thank you for that.

        As for the difficulty of integrating career/purpose with family/partnership, it has been one of the greatest challenges of my life, something I never quite foresaw, and which has been kicking my butt in more ways than I never dreamed. But throughout all of it, my commitment to growth, my marriage and my growing famiy, along with integrating it together with purpose and career, has never wavered (even if sometimes it looked more like stubbornness or madness than commitment, check out an essay from my wife on this called The Doctrine of Stubbornness http://goo.gl/dlQCl). Basically, I’m in the cauldron of transformation and with each step, I seek to stay in integrity with all of it. It’s not easy and I will likely continue to make mistakes and learn, but I don’t walk away and I don’t quit. So it may look from the limited lens of FB that what I’m doing is off, but I can tell you with full willingness and honesty that I do my best to doing it well and with integrity, and with everyone involved, as I’m growing and learning — as we all are.

        Thank you for bringing the conversation to this point and giving me an opportunity to say all of this above. That makes me appreciate you even more.

        A bientot et avec amour,

        Philippe

  11. kesavan says:

    Doing without doing! Wonderful to have all the virtues without undergoing any stress. When it is realised that we are in the right direction there won’t be any cravings and only peace of mind. Erikka, you are landing on the safest surface of Soul, the Life-Entity, Truth, and biblically there is no other Way open to any one for emancipation. All the Best in Life.

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hi Kesavan, welcome back and thank you :) If the ego wants to keep me away from sex THIS badly, I can only imagine how powerful this leg of the journey is going to be … :) Much love xoxo

  12. Brijmohan Sharma says:

    First of all Love from Me. Regards and Respect from me. I read your views really today though i subscribed little longer back. I could not read you and your blogs. First of all you are blessed with excellence. And i read with and in full depths your views on love, sex, meditation, spiritual and integration into it. Very inspiring your views. Mostly i have lived on my path working. it shall be nice if the Lord permits to meet and interact in person with a friend like you. Assuring to read your blogs in future. Since it is first reading; your flows are honest admissions. Life is a flowering process and certainly dear friend with love i write you are the path flowering on the Earth in yourself and on the Earth. True Love to You. Respect to You. regards.

  13. urmila says:

    As i have understood from my life, what really spoils our life is, the “need for certainty”. We have to learn to lead our life with a certain flexibility, allowing ourself “to go with the flow”. Otherwise life will be intolerable or we cant live our life to the full. By reading your post, I understand that you have realised that and i am sure u will be greatly enjoying the life in the day ahead
    good luck

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Thank you for commenting. Yes Urmila, I have long realized that. In fact, I plan almost nothing in my life and live by the motto “a healed mind does not plan.” This post is about what we can do when our “normal” emotional capacity has been completely overwhelmed and we start grasping for “old” ways of doing things that did not work …. now that the intensity has been integrated, I don’t feel any need to plan again. In fact, it is getting harder and harder for me to focus or care about daily stuff like money and logistics and it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out … :) I’m glad you joined the conversation and hope you’ll visit us again.

  14. David, this kind of casts us women as "victims" don't you think? Like I'm some kind of conquest and I'm getting nothing out of this and Philippe Lewis is some kind of nasty evil man without any of his own vulnerability or desire for growth or to contribute to the planet … It's a pretty dark view of people don't you think? It turns women into two dimensional cardboard cutout figures with no spiritual path or lives of their own. I sure don't feel seen for my feminine sexual desire, the fact that I want this man to fuck me in the ass on Monday so that I can ground my spiritual power into the earth and live this life in five fucking dimensions. So I can face all my fears and walk this planet totally fearless. It doesn't see how much commitment we both had to communicating through this darkness, how much stamina that required, how much care for another human being it takes to stay connected when the ego is that threatened and that intent on separating you. I wonder, David, how is your sex life? How is your life in general? What is it that motivated you to leave this comment on my blog? I would like to hear about you, not about me. I can speak for myself. Let's hear what's alive for you … <3

  15. Robert Frost says:

    Blessings to you Erika. Sexual intercourse with penetration does have a much greater energetic effect and exchange. So much so that it’s probably best not to have penetration with anyone you wouldn’t want to be. I recently shared the following story of Facebook. It may be relevant here:
    Sacred Sexuality

    Being around my spiritual teacher, Ann Davies was like having a spiritual shower. She needed a group that was following and practicing what she was teaching. In this way, her works were “grounded”.
    One of her last courses, taught Thursday nights (and Sunday mornings), Ann taught the spiritualization of the reproductive forces.

    She often said that it wasn’t time yet, it wasn’t yet time for the consciousness of the people to embrace the sacredness of sexuality. There were still too many taboos, slurs and popular degradation of the sexual energies in the mass consciousness. Sexual imagery is used to titillating order to sell products and services and to excite auto-erotically. My father gave me good advice in that area, “Never bother getting yourself hot and really excited about what you are not going to have.”

    She said that she had to help us, the regularly coming students to her ongoing lectures upon the topic, she worked upon us on the inner planes so we would be able to live and embody these teachings for the future.

    Most important and oft reminded: Only use loving imagery, metaphor and language in general for the reproductive act. Never degrade union by utilizing words that refer to union to describe something as bad or somehow negative, as is so often the case in explicatives.

    Utilizing the sexual energies to fuel the spiritual journey, you and your wife/partner/s on the way home together. She said the reason for her incarnation, the reason she was here was for this purpose: To teach the esoteric doctrines of the sexual energy.

    Master R said in communications that few humans alive today have any idea of what is possible with the reproductive force in relationship with another aspirant partner. He alluded that the current state of marriage was most similar to a contract of ownership, like one would have for an ox or a cow.

    Ann taught that what we need is a new attitude and new vocabulary to express the sacredness of sexual union. We need to lift our verbal formulations, especially those that we utter with great enthusiasm or fury, out of the anglo-saxan slang words. I suggested to an ex of a neighbor that he might try communicating with reference to neither reproductive nor excretory functions and extend himself a bit more with his chosen vocabulary. Sigh.

    Ann taught that in sacred union, one “shouldn’t hurry to have pleasurable involuntary muscular contractions”. This was her way to saying “orgasm” in church. We often chuckled about this.
    I used that concept in the title song of my first CD, Love Your Woman Tenderly. joyousworld.com/music/1stCD
    (I don’t yet have my songs available for download. That will come.) Therein I referred to “The highest love goes far beyond unintentional contractions. If you want this bliss, unite in stillness. Call the Goddess to you through your partner oh so dear. She is right here. When you see what she is potentially, she becomes Goddess in reality”. There’s a glimpse into the sacred magic.

    The Karezza technique indicated in the one book B.O.T.A. recommended has a story I recall: After suitable purification and banishing of all daily stresses, the two unite and become still – without further motion. After an hour of union, the tribal teaching was that, “the ancestors awake and bless the union”.
    This brings a smile. In my limited visits into that space – their metaphor for the widening and deepening of consciousness that enfold and unfold is particularly apt. Who subjectively “I am” is, who you feel yourself to be includes more and more of the expanding sphere of being/awareness. At the peaks, the self-consciousness can do no more than look. And that’s what the red ibis is doing in the mulberry tree. Holding still, very awake and beholding the woman, Isis unveiled, revealing the inner nature of the object of meditative inquiry and showing you deeper dimensional views of your selfhood. It’s such a quest, to attempt to formulate experiences so something of their nature is transferred to the receiver – the listener to your story. I just mean to say that the beatitude that ensues when two so entwine exists beyond death and “before Abraham, I am”.

    Through such prolonged union, big inner plane family reunion gathering occurs. It bonds you deeply and shares much inwardly – karma, qualities, attributes, affectations, inner voice. It’s best to only make love with people you would love to be. Then you can go as deep is this time our energies go, love vast and wide. The energetic radiation of your sacred union will bless the whole surrounding community.

    Thus in times of old the witches ran that one day a year when all rules were abandoned. Also the young men and ladies went out into the fields and forests.
    Ancient rituals invoking metaphor of making the land fertile. The perhaps older high priestess found and was found by a young man bearing Pan’s fertilizing phallus. Their union provides a channel, a lightning rod for the fertilization of the whole surrounding area. In many agrarian society, lovers loved in the fields in early Spring – the same fields they later tended with fond memories. Mother Earth is blessed, their union upon the land promising fertility to families, flocks and fields.
    Sometimes a child was born of these encounters when the fire of Heaven ignites the fecundity of Earth. A visionary, a seer, a wise man, a bruja, a wizard. Already in their infancy, it is said, they show signs of their greatness, of their gifts. Even Davie Crocket “kilt him a b’ar when he was only three”.
    And the tale continues…

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hi Robert,

      Thank you for commenting. Yes it feels like sexuality will have a huge role in the awakening and the healing of the planet. It’s just that we’ll be using it in a new and integrated way. I feel blessed to have a very conscious lover who is committed to communication.

    • jeannie frou says:

      While I appreciated this article, I found the errors quite distracting. Proofreading is love ;)

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