What many people do not know about me is that I have had plenty of sex in my life. I tried all the conventional ways of having sex. They work for a while, until they become dead ends. Yes, I know there are some who will argue with me about this. They will argue that the divorce rate and cheating rates, which are sky-high, does not mean the system is not working. (Can we say, the Emperor has no clothes?) They will argue until they are blue in the face why sex the way we conceive of it now is working in spite of the fact that it is obviously NOT working. Yet all those people are still on the road to death. So they have not understood or solved the problems of which I am speaking here.
It also is clear to me that almost every way that sex is used in our society is ego-driven. If we are using it for pleasure, to avoid loneliness, for validation, to prove to ourselves that we are “attractive,” for security or status, for “old age insurance,” in monogamy, and a zillion other ways that people are using sex … it’s all pure ego … and it will ultimately lead you straight to the door of death. It is no accident that sex is associated with death so clearly in the collective unconscious – both in science and in literature. Until we solve that problem at the level of the collective unconscious, we are all — collectively — “screwed” lol. ;-p
The main thing that happened for me personally is that my sexual experiences became more and more painful, until the day came that I simply refused to participate anymore.
It is clear to me that there is one and only ONE way to use sex that is not ego-driven. And that is to use it consciously for healing. Not just personal healing but healing of the entire planet. However, for me to engage in sex in that way would require me to match up with partners who can see what I see at the holistic level. And so far I have not encountered that consciousness. Not even in the “sacred sex” communities have I encountered the necessary consciousness. That’s why I gave up on sex.
Erika Awakening, High Priestess of Miracles at TAPsmarter