This entry applies just as much to girls as to guys.
This was a wild lesson for me. I’m a delicate little girl who easily gets wind burn, so vanity be damned, when I ski (which is all winter long), I cover from head to toe. I wear a helmet, goggles, and face mask. You cannot see one teeny bit of skin. All you can tell about me is that I’m female and little (5’5″ 117 pounds).
Two and a half years ago, before I started all this spiritual stuff, I would ride the ski lift and almost nobody ever talked to me. It was like I was invisible. Once I started doing this spiritual stuff and self-improvement, all of a sudden people started talking to me. By last winter, it was the rare lift where the other people on the chair didn’t start spontaneously talking to me. This obviously had nothing to do with the way I look because NO ONE COULD SEE ME. Nor was it my body language, cuz there’s only so many ways you can sit on a ski lift chair without falling to your death. ;-)
We are not bodies. We are walking energy, people. Approachability shows up in body language, it shows up in how you talk, it shows up in how often you smile at people and make eye contact … but fundamentally it is a VIBE. It is non-verbal. It is a vibe that happens when you clear out your negative emotions and judgments and become the loving Presence that naturally exists underneath all that.