Project Congruence – Turning Chodes into Men

On Sunday, I mentioned my new video project, Project Congruence, for the first time: I’m going to take three guys who have limiting beliefs about women and dating, and help those guys become congruent.

I’ve talked before on this blog about the importance of congruence. What is congruence? To me, it means two things:

1. Internal congruence: A person’s internal beliefs are aligned with each other and harmonized.

So when I say to myself, “I am attractive,” everything in me answers that as a “yes,” whereas non-congruent people will have a bunch of tail-enders come up, that is, a bunch of “but no I’m not really attractive because _____” statements.

2. External congruence: A person says what he means and means what he says.

What the person is saying out loud matches up with what he thinks, feels, and believes inside of himself. This leads to a feeling of internal and external harmony. This is why, ironically, if a person is angry, it’s much better to say out loud “I’m really pissed off right now” because the other person can feel the emotion anyway, and there is a lot of connection and emotional relief in having that emotional state said out loud.

I’ve talked about congruence (which can be felt, for example, in Hypnotica’s presence) AND about Emotional Freedom Technique and Attracting Women. It feels good to be around a congruent person because it feels harmonious. Mental chatter and self-doubt has been eliminated, so we move into a very relaxed state of “being” around congruent people.

Project Congruence — Open to Applicants

My new video project, which I talked about in the last blog post, is going to help incongruent guys become congruent. I have received a bunch of responses from guys who are interested, but have not yet selected the three, so please write to me at if you would like to participate. I will also give free belief system makeovers to any guy (or girl, for that matter) who is able to help me with video filming, production, and editing.

PLEASE EMAIL ME NOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO PARTICIPATE IN PROJECT CONGRUENCE. This is going to be one of the quickest ways possible to change the results you are seeing and be well on your way to becoming a true Casanova.

Congruence in Relationships

Meanwhile, as long as I’m musing on this topic, it occurred to me this morning that relationships also need to be congruent to feel good. What does this mean? It means that two people’s intentions about the relationship are aligned, but it actually means more than that. This is where the value of commitment comes in. Commitment to each other and commitment to a shared purpose.

Before commitment, it may feel like we are keeping all our options open, but in fact we are not really free to explore the depths with another person. After commitment, in a way, entire new horizons of co-creation open up to us because we are bringing our intention and life force into alignment with another person’s intention and life force.

This is terrain that I’m very excited to explore, and as has happened in many areas of my life over the past few years, I realized recently that it’s important for me as a woman to say no to what doesn’t feel good (conflicting, unharmonized intentions) in order to leave space open to say yes to what I really want, which is fully committed co-creation with a life partner.

For example, when I see polyamorous relationships that actually work, what I see is partners who are deeply and permanently committed to each other. Ironically, it is the depth and strenght of their commitment to the one partner that creates the space and freedom for polyamory. If I know my guy is permanently committed to me through his congruent intention, then I feel safe giving him a much greater degree of freedom than if I am not certain of his commitment to me. It’s one of those great paradoxes in life.

Anyhoo, I’m off now …

EMAIL ME at if you’d like to participate in Project Congruence.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Hi Erica

    I can’t meet with you cause I live in Russia, but I am very interested, if you can list some good empowering beliefs, real congruent men have. (maybe you asked Hypnotica :))

  2. Michael says:

    Have you ever worked with someone, or heard of someone, who wanted to remove the limiting belief that they had limiting beliefs?

  3. Hey Erika,

    What technique are you going to use to eliminate limiting beliefs? My favourite technique is EFT.

    I want to volunteer for Project Congruence but I live in the UK :).


  4. I know what you mean about hypnotica. I watched the Annihilation method – a program neil strauss did about pickup, the only bit i watched fully was the part where steve piccus and hypnotica were talking. at one point he talked about being present. He WAS PRESENT. He was grounded, centred, and watching it, i felt grounded and centred, its like state transfer or something.

    Its hard to

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