My Cup Runneth Over – A Riff on Chivalry and Men Being Men :-)

A few people asked me this week what motivates me to be on RSDN and help guys succeed with women. And the answer is: “because that’s what I feel called to do in my soul.”

But I digress …

Sometimes the simplest joy for me is having a Sunday morning all to myself where appreciation floods into my consciousness. Pure appreciation for all the wonderful things that happened to me this week. This is one of those mornings. My cup runneth over.

Breakfast this morning was leftover French onion soup cooked by one of the guys I saw this week and packed in a little “take home” package for me. Is that adorable or what? He also got huge points for this: he knows how much I love all this pickup stuff, but I don’t watch TV and had never seen that pickup artist show on TV. He played one episode for me at his house on our date, and I got so enthralled in it that I was in full suspense, shouting at the guys on the TV, completely absorbed. Only later I noticed that my friend had done all the cooking, cleaning, etc. I said, “OMG honey, I just realized that I’ve been so engrossed in this how that I didn’t notice you did all this work. You are so sweet, what can I help with?” But he was so much enjoying my enjoyment of the show (my being fully present) that he told me to keep watching and not worry about it. It was obvious he meant it too. We did some nice cuddling later watching Matrix II. Love that guy!!

I’m going to riff on chivalry and how much I love men.

What is it about chilvary that feels so good to a woman at such a primal level? I don’t know, it just is the essence of masculinity to me. When a man is chivalrous, it usually feels like he has his own life handled so well that he has an overabundance that he can now share with me. It allows my deepest femininity to come out and play. I feel like I can relax and be protected and vulnerable with him.

So here are a few things that happened this week, on this theme (showing the contrast between what makes a girl like me feel turned off versus what makes her feel safe, sexy, and turned on):

The Emotional Effect on a Woman of Non-Chivalry versus Chivalry

I went out to a girls event early in the week, but it ended early, and it was just down the block from one of my favorite restaurant/wine bars. So I wandered down there and got a seat at the bar. These days I feel very comfortable going out by myself. I know all the waiters and bartenders, and people strike up conversations with me pretty much wherever I go, so I always feel at home.

A guy I know had been prodding me for a while to go out with him, and I had been resisting, but on a whim I texted to see if he was around.

He was, and he said he would come meet me. He asked whether I was alone (I said “right now yes”). But then he says: “I’m broke though.”

Lol :-) Now to my aspiring seducers out there, what kind of message do you suppose that sends to a woman? Maybe some girls will tolerate that, but not the high self-esteem feminine ones. Non-chivalry kills all romantic attraction for me, pretty much immediately.

Look, my attitude these days is that no one is going to be turned away. I’m going to love everyone. At the same time, I’m not doing anyone any favors by tolerating their self-defeating behaviors or doing things that don’t feel good to me. The world ends up getting divided into two categories for me: guys I coach/heal and guys I date.

So I texted back: “That’s fine. I don’t mind paying my own way. But I only date guys who have their abundance issues handled, so this will be purely platonic.”

Apparently that was a powerful message to send to the Universe because before that guy even got to the restaurant, three guys in my social circle arrived and took up residence in the chairs surrounding me. I ended up spending the rest of the evening with them, had a really wonderful time, and they very chivalrously picked up the tab.

The other guy did show up about 20 minutes later, but only to find me surrounded by men. I just shrugged and said, “look, when you asked if I was alone, I was.” He said “no worries, you’re a popular girl.” Lol :-) And he went and gamed some other girls. So it worked out for everybody.

More Chivalry, and a Guy Who Goes After What He Wants

The next night I went to a party at an art gallery. My hand had a full drink in it the entire night, guys just kept buying me drinks. Everytime it was empty someone would fill it. And then a girl even bought me a drink, which was much appreciated too :-)

I met a few new people, including one guy where I just liked his vibe right away. Next morning I sent him a Facebook friend request, and his response confirmed my initial gut feeling about him: he sent me a long email very directly asking me out. Now usually long emails are taboo, but you all know how I feel about conventional wisdom. Rules are made to be broken.

His long email showed that he had read my blog and is vibing with it because he shared his own mystical spiritual story about martial art techniques. Right away he has established tons of rapport, but better yet, he ends his email with this:

“ok so super longwinded email from someone you don’t even know aside, how about we get together for dinner? i’ll take you somewhere nice in exchange for editorial control of what you might write about it.”

Ah … at last … a MAN. Have I mentioned how much I love it when a guy is direct about what he wants and also humorous/flirtatious at the same time? So we’re going out tonight.

My Cup Runneth Over

On Friday night, I had another date. And he’s a cool guy. But during the day on Friday I got a text message from a guy I’ve known for about four years saying that if I came out with him instead:

“more game in tonight’s crew than should be allowed mere mortals. two buddies’ birthdays — about eight of us — pack of wolves.”

Lol :-) Well, moth to the flame that I am, how could I possibly resist that offer? I don’t follow plans these days … I follow energy. So I ended my date early and got dropped off at Le Colonial.

What happened next is one of the most fun things to happen to me in recent memory. It turns out that my guy friend has been reading my blog OUT LOUD to this entire group of guys. So he starts introducing me, and they are all like “OMG, are you the blog girl?” And they are kissing my hand, buying me drinks, talking about Motorcycle Guy, and GOING OFF about how much they love the blog and how important it is that men be allowed to be men.

LMAO and loving every moment of it.

“Please tell the world.” That’s what they said.

“Don’t worry, I will,” I said.

And I intend to keep my promise ;-)

Doing this is what calls to me in my soul.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Anonymous says:

    I feel sorry for the guys you take out to fancy dinners and let them pay for you when you know deep down that you will not sleep with them.

    I do not mind taking out a women to a fancy dinner and pay for her however, I dont do that unless I have slept with her already (remember, always eat after you swim!) or I did not yet but she is seeing/dating me exclusively.
    otherwise, it makes no sens…pay for you own shit!


  2. Erika, I find you so inspiring. You remind me of myself when I was young and celibate–except that you actually have self-esteem, self-love, and self-determination! I can’t wait until I’m in the same place you are.

  3. I’m stealing that last text message at least 2x…


    also, I put up a new post.

  4. I havent been a visitor here in a while — you’re still cracking me up with some great writing…keep it up. Hope to see you after the turkey holiday!

  5. It’s good to have a calling, isn’t it?

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