The Return of Tantric Dating

Moving Deeper Into Presence and Connection with Tantric Dating

erika awakening tantric dating

Oh the sadness of losing Harvey the Cat has touched my face for sure … and … I’ve still got it.

Let me ask you a question … how fast do you think your life can change when you practice more Presence? Weeks, months, years … Let me tell you a story then … about how much power you can tap in to nearly instantly when you learn how to reprogram the subconscious mind …

A little over a week ago, I pulled a Holistic Belief Reprogramming video out of the archives that I had not tapped in several years. This is Day 22 of the 30-Day Sexual Abundance Challenge, and the topic is Reconnecting to Your Body.

Upon tapping this Reconnecting to Your Body video, I felt delighted to find myself in a deep pool of presence. I literally felt each part of my body breathing a sigh of relief as awareness and presence moved in and stress moved out. I felt deeply relaxed and calm after tapping the video. “Damn, that’s a powerful video, I’m really proud of that one,” I thought to myself. Then I kinda forgot about it.

Fast forward to the next day. I drove out to Squaw Valley ski resort to take a few runs on the mountain after all the glorious snow we have received this month (23 feet of glorious snow and counting, and yes I tapped for that too – you’re welcome).

I was about to take my second run, on the Red Dog lift, and was scooting forward in the short line. There was a bit of confusion, and a woman next to me yelled something like “are you going up by yourself?” I took the hint and told the guy slightly in front of me that I was hopping on with him.

And so it began.

“Are you a bar down kind of girl?” he asked me. “Sure,” I responded, and he lowered the safety bar. Somehow we started chatting.

I was, by the way, covered from head to toe, literally, with not one inch of skin showing. I mean Burka style covered, in a blizzard. I was wearing mirrored ski goggles, a helmet, a face mask, thick mittens, and many layers of heavy snow gear. He could not see my face, though he later claimed he could see my eyes a little bit. I don’t know how lol with the dark mirrored goggles. Anyway …

(One of my very first blog posts after I started blogging back in 2008 was about my ski lift experience and what it taught me about attraction and approachability … that it has very little to do with physical appearance. Take a look, it’s worth a read.)

By the time we got off at the top of that Red Dog chair maybe five or so minutes later, we had discovered a lot of common ground. I even cried in front of him, my voice breaking as I told him about losing Harvey the Cat in November. I guess he was touched by my vulnerability. And my vulnerability came from self-connection, from releasing buckets and buckets of grief over the past few months, and from Reconnecting with My Body.

Well, what usually happens with these brief connections on the ski lift is that you wish each other a good day and never cross paths again. That was about to happen here. And then it didn’t.

He had helped me unbuckle my boots on the chair, because my feet were cramping. And I forgot to re-buckle them. So he shouted to me to remember to buckle my boots.

“Oh yes, thank you,” I said. Then it looked like he would move on and disappear. Except he didn’t. He kinda slowed down. We kept moving in vaguely the same direction toward the Squaw Creek chair at the bottom of the next run. I did what I usually do … start skiing.

So did he, except he kept waiting for me. If I would get behind, he would wait. If I would get ahead, he would catch up. (Turns out he used to be a ski and snowboard instructor and probably has a lot of practice with this lol.)

Next thing I know, we are riding the lift up together again. This time we are talking about meditation and deep breathing and working from home and so much else …

Now I’m ready for my last run of the day and it seems we have said goodbye to each other. I’m halfway down Red Dog on the way to cross over the Far East where my car is. And he has disappeared entirely. I felt a little disappointed and … well, that’s snow play … you have chance encounters and then don’t see each other again.

Except then somehow when I got down to the Far East lift, there he was ahead of me. I’m still not sure how that happened. He moved toward a friend’s car and I didn’t think he was aware of my presence.

So I kept skiing through the parking lot to my car, which was the other direction. I was swishing the heavy snow off my car windows with the heavy mittens, and loading up the trunk … when I hear a voice behind me …

“Erika …”

He followed me all the way to my car to get my number. Without ever seeing my face.

That’s magnetism. That’s how fast Presence can work.

To be continued …


erika awakening


How to Attract Women – The Ultimate Guide to Masters of the Art of Seduction

How to Attract Women – The Ultimate Guide to the Art of Seduction

hypnotica how to attract women

Hypnotica and Erika Awakening in 2014 at the Worthy Playboy seduction event hosted by Johnny Soporno

How to attract women … the mystery that has puzzled men since time immemorial. As a woman who has been in bed with (not had sex with lol … just been physically in bed with) many of the greatest Masters of Seduction of our time … I decided it was a small tragedy that all those valuable articles about how to attract women were nearly IMPOSSIBLE to find on this website. Today we are going to remedy that situation with this How to Attract Women – The Ultimate Guide to Masters of the Art of Seduction.

I am going to curate a bunch of the articles I have written over the past six years about men who have mastered the art of seduction. Many of the men described in these articles were already famous or have since become very famous. They are masters, after all.

So I’m putting these tips about how to get women sexually attracted to you into this post. And I’m going to list them all here for your convenience. Be sure to bookmark this page and check back often. I will add new articles to this list as I find them in our HUGE blog archives. Okay let’s get started with how to attract women – how exciting!

How NOT to Attract Women with Dishonesty

Now before we get started with the other articles about how to attract women, there is something very important to say up front. This is near and dear to my heart so please listen with your full attention. Thank you :)

Sometimes it can get easy for men to get carried away with the ego rush of seduction. “Oh God, she had sex with me, I’m the man!” And next thing you know this man is abusing the skill of how to attract women. He’s more interested in putting notches in his belt than he is in creating authentic connection.

Mark Manson

Mark Manson and Erika Awakening together in happier times

The biggest no-no in the art of seduction is dishonesty.

We have a great role model for what NOT to do in seduction in my ex-lover Mark Manson. That is because he seduced with dishonesty. We would not be calling out Mark Manson publicly today except that he has still not faced this situation with any integrity. So we may as well have Mark Manson be our teaching example for UNETHICAL seduction and how NOT to attract women with dishonesty.

You can also learn some great attraction tips in these articles, just don’t do what Mark Manson did. Don’t lie. Don’t “cloud” the truth. And don’t set up expectations for the relationship that you are not prepared to fulfill. That’s just plain lame. And hurtful. As long as you do it with honesty at all times, you can learn a lot from these posts about how to attract women:

Mark Manson – How Not to Attract Women with Dishonesty

Keeping Mark Manson Honest – Who Is the Real Mark Manson?

Now that we have that out of the way, and I know you are not going to use these teachings to HURT anyone … you are promising to use your power with integrity by reading these articles. You are promising to use the skills of how to attract women ONLY for the highest good of everyone involved. Then please continue reading these revealing articles about how men who have mastery with women do it.

These are all real-life stories of men I dated who were masters of the art of seduction. You can learn how to attract women by reading about how they connected with me …

I wanted to get this out as quickly as possible so please be patient with me about broken links and so forth from the old blog … if you see a broken link, please email me at Erika @, and I will fix it! :)

Seven Powerful Tips for Attracting the Woman of Your Dreams

Based on personal experience with what works and doesn’t work for men in dating, Erika Awakening wrote this dating advice article. Here we offer seven valuable secrets for attracting the woman of your dreams and keeping her interested:

How to Attract Women – Seven Tips for Seducing the Woman of Your Dreams

10 Ugly Dating Mistakes You May Be Making Without Even Realizing It

Of course, we need to consider the dating mistakes you may be making in getting women sexually interested in you. Otherwise, how will you avoid these mistakes if you don’t even know about them. Learning how to attract women means understanding a woman’s perspective and how it FEELS to her when you make these mistakes. This dating advice will set you ahead of the pack in the world of attraction:

10 Ugly Dating Mistakes You May Be Making Without Even Realizing It

How to Attract Women – Natural Game and How to Seduce A Celibate Girl

The man described in the original “how to seduce a celibate girl” series – the first two articles here – has since become very famous. He has his own reality TV show. Learn from him – these are all masters of the art of seduction :)

How to Seduce A Celibate Girl, Part 1 – Building Attraction

How to Seduce A Celibate Girl, Part 2- How to Be Attractive to Women

Secrets of Attraction with Women from Hypnotica

how to attract women art of seduction gurus

Masters of the art of seduction: Hypnotica, Steve Piccus, Johnny Soporno, and Erika Awakening

Hypnotica is a great guy and a true master of the art of seduction. I’m sure you have heard of him! Hypnotica and I are friends, and I have a few articles in the archives showing his flirtation at work. Check out these articles to learn tips for attracting a woman today:

Hypnotica and the Power of Congruent Masculine Intent

More Tips for Sexually Attracting Women from Hypnotica

How to Attract Women with Seamless Confidence (Ferrari Guy)

Secrets of Sexual Attraction from Ferrari Guy

How to Attract Women Using Authenticity (Motorcycle Guy)

Natural Game Tips to Attract A Woman from Motorcycle Guy

Motorcycle Guy Re-Emerges

How to Attract Women Interested in Open Non-Exclusive Relationships

Would You Be Able to Get A Woman Sexually Interested in An “Orgy”?

This one was also quite charming. Same guy as the last post:

How to Reassure A Woman (again, remember my caution about honesty. I mean it. Always be honest no matter what.)

Secrets for Attracting A Woman Quickly (Less Than Three Hours) from Vegas Guy

This was the ultimate in mastery of attraction and comfort in a very short time frame so it became an eight-part series about Vegas Guy.

Part 1: Approaching the Woman in A Club

How to Attract Women – Vegas

Part 3: How to isolate the girl

Part 4: How to build so much attraction that you can pull the girl out of the venue and take her home with you :)

Part 5: How to escalate sexually

Part 6: How to end the encounter so she wants to see you again

Part 7: How to continue leading and deepening after the first encounter

Part 8: Why you must have empathy to be a master in the art of seduction

How to Attract Women with Deep Comfort and Authentic Friendship (Matrix Guy)

Ways to Attract A Woman By Being A Man She Can Trust (Fairytale Romance with Matrix Guy)

How to Attract Women – Using EFT Tapping Emotional Freedom Technique to Increase Confidence and Improve Your Game

Using EFT to Take Your Game to the Next Level

Using EFT Tapping to Improve Your Game

EFT Tapping to End Social Anxiety and Social Fear

Energy Healing As An Excuse to Touch Everyone in the Bar

How to Attract Women with Sexy Masculine Body Language (Video from Manwhore)

How to Be More Attractive to Women By Integrating Your Shadow Self

How to Attract and Keep Women – Harem Management

Dead Poets Society and Inner Game PUA

Push Pull Seduction Explored by A Skillful Pickup Artist PUA

Hope you enjoy these awesome articles about how to attract women like the masters of seduction do.

I also wanted to let you know that the price of my popular 30-Day Sexual Abundance Challenge will be going up soon – it’s a favorite among my customers. This program is not just about attraction, it’s also about healing. Often we have some “baggage” that keeps us from feeling our best. This EFT tapping program goes deep. If you have questions, just email me at Erika @, and I’d be happy to answer them. Get Better Sex Now.


erika awakening

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

If you liked this article, you will LOVE Erika's EFT tapping video products and coaching ... Get Started Now:

Mark Manson: How Not to Attract Women with Dishonesty

Mark Manson Has 80+ Angry Ex-Girlfriends. But It’s Not His Fault. All 80+ of Us Must Be “Crazy”

Mark Manson

Mark Manson and Erika Awakening together in happier times

Mark Manson has become well known for teaching “attracting women with honesty.” Learning how to attract women with honesty is a great idea in theory. I support this idea fully. The problem here is very simple. The great proponent of this idea, Mark Manson, doesn’t practice what he preaches. And lest anyone think the dishonesty is a long-ago issue from the past, actually it was not that many months ago that he used dishonesty to blacklist me from a professional organization. An organization that had already accepted me on my own merits.

Plus Mark Manson is teaching a whole connection course, while he fails to resolve his own personal issues.

If you missed the background to all this, you can catch up here:

Mark Manson Running Away from America

Mark Manson and Courage?

How to Attract Women with Honesty, Mark Manson? That Would Have Been Greatly Appreciated, It Just Didn’t Happen

So the issue of Mark Manson dishonesty is still very much alive. Let’s get to the bottom of this “attracting women with honesty and vulnerability,” shall we, Mark Manson?

Have you ever had something happen in your life that haunts you? Something that try as you will, never seems to lose its hold on you. As you read this article, think about what that issue is for you. Why haven’t you let it go yet? Maybe you weren’t meant to let it go yet.

I am well aware that some people will think I’m just a bitter woman who should “let it go” with blogger Mark Manson. So let me share with you why I’m not doing that.

Until Mark Manson Faces Himself, He Is A Danger to Society

You think I’m exaggerating? Don’t be too hard on yourself if you were taken in by this man’s charm and charisma. Sociopaths are masters of charming people. I don’t consider myself to be stupid. I graduated with honors from Stanford University and Harvard Law School. I have very good intuition. And I got totally blindsided by Mark Manson. I didn’t realize just HOW big Mark Manson’s ethical issues are until I received this email from him much later:

“Right now, you’re #1 on my ‘unpleasant fallout from angry ex’s’ list… First place out of about 80… Considering the sample-size of my sexual history, that’s a pretty amazing accomplishment. You have to be seriously batshit, persistent AND obnoxious to take that spot. You beat out the girl who broke into my apartment, the girl who faked being raped to get me to come over, and the girl who intentionally gave me an STD.” – Mark Manson

Think on this. What does a man have to do to get a long list of women this angry? So angry they want to hurt him. So angry they will do things like break into his apartment and intentionally give him an STD.

If you think I’m an “exception” in this man’s sordid past, think again.

And do you suppose his lying and cheating to get sex ended there? Am I the only one who speculates about how, exactly, he got his blog to be so popular? Since he obviously thinks there is no moral problem with lying to women to get sex … just how far do you think he would take that willingness to lie, cheat, and steal?

These are the questions that haunt me.

Dreams About Mark Manson

Last night I had another dream about Mark Manson. These dreams about Mark Manson have been increasing recently. I used to have one every several months, now they are several times a week. Every dream I have about Mark Manson is a little different. Sometimes we are happily back together and I feel so much joy. I’ve even had dreams that felt absolutely real where we were kissing passionately and having sex again like we did in Los Angeles. I very rarely have dreams about sex so that feels very strange.

In other dreams, Mark Manson is still with a girlfriend. Though she has been changing lately. She looks different now. Those dreams feel frustrating. The way you might feel if you really needed to get to an important appointment and found yourself stuck on a bridge in bumper to bumper traffic. Unable to move forward.

In other dreams I have about Mark Manson, we are engaged in conversation deadlock, both of us stubborn as hell. And in some dreams, there are weird obstacles. I can feel them more than I can see them. In those dreams, we are trying to communicate but it’s like there’s a wall between me and Mark Manson. Those dreams feel surreal.

Last night, the dream was entirely new. And it’s what got me writing this article about the story of Mark Manson and me today.

In this dream last night, I’m not sure Mark Manson was actually there. It’s like he was there but not there at the same time. It was one of the strangest feeling dreams I have ever had. Three of us preparing to jump off a cliff together, a cliff we had jumped off together many times before. We were well-known experts of this cliff jumping. We were going to jump off a very high cliff, together, into deep water below. It was a scary leap but one we had done many, many times. We trusted each other completely.

Then it came time to jump. And one of us hesitated. We were all holding hands. I think I was in the middle. I felt the man on the right hesitate, so I hesitated too and barely kept myself from going over the cliff. But the third guy, he felt the hesitation too late. He felt it soon enough that it messed up his jump, but not soon enough to stop from hurling himself over the cliff.

And so, he jumped into the water below but at a weird angle. And then we watched for him to come back up from the water. Everything felt very tense. The cliff was too high up and there were no easy trails down. There was nobody down there to save him from drowning. He was not emerging from the water. Then I woke up.

I’m not sure if Mark Manson was in the dream with me.
I woke way earlier than I like to wake up, in confusion. Part of me wanted to go back to sleep and see how the dream would end. I wasn’t able to fall back to sleep though.

So I got out of bed and went into the kitchen, put on my fuzzy socks, mind still foggy. The light outside too bright to open the shades all the way. What was that dream all about, I thought to myself. After all the intense dreams I’ve been having about Mark Manson … at first I didn’t see the connection.

And then I got it. My dream was a weird re-watching of what happened to Mark Manson’s friend years ago. The one who died jumping off a cliff into the water. Sometimes I wonder whether Mark Manson has been running from death every since … and whether that is why he runs from me … Real union and death are the same thing to the ego, after all … but I digress ..

And then as I thought about it more… as my mind began to sharpen and I filled my eyes with drops of Visine … as I was feeding the cats and steaming coconut milk for my cappuccino … it went deeper …

Jumping off the cliff was a metaphor for where Mark Manson and I were five years ago. It was time for us to take that leap of faith and jump off the cliff together. And then Mark Manson got cold feet. We already had a whole life together planned. He pulled back abruptly, got defensive, and started making excuses. I felt the hesitation and fear. But it was too late for me to pull back. I had already committed to the jump. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what this is all about …

It’s about trust. You don’t screw over your friend who is counting on you at the top of a 50 foot cliff over the ocean. Likewise, you don’t get neck deep into a serious relationship with a five-years celibate woman and then chicken out. You don’t plan an entire life with her and then say things like “you were promised nothing.”

And if you do something that stupid, irresponsible, and cruel, you had better own up to it and make amends. Or you’ll still be dealing with it, Mark Manson, five and a half years later.

You can call me crazy if you like. You can call me a stalker. You can write nasty articles as some people have done who have never met me. You can go along with Mark Manson blacklisting me when you don’t know anything about what really happened. And I’m telling you … if you were the person who got screwed on top of the cliff, you would be upset too.

Trust me, if you saw the six months of emails, texts, blog articles, and everything else Mark Manson did to get me into bed … you would not be flinging labels at me. You’d be saying, “damn … Mark Manson, you need to own up to this and make amends.”

We all make mistakes, as a woman commentator pointed out on the blog today. Some of those mistakes – like the one Mark Manson made with me – are so big and so hurtful and have such a negative impact on another person’s life … that’s it’s not okay just to give a lame apology. It’s not okay to “move on” and avoid the person you screwed over, pretending that you didn’t have a deep and significant relationship with her.

When you make that big of a mistake … when you screw up that badly .. you actually need to face it and make amends. And that is what Mark Manson has never done.

In fact, the two personal meetings I’ve had with Mark Manson since we broke up were absolutely horrible. He could not even look me in the eye. All that SHAME. He knows what he did was wrong. He knows he will never have real peace until he makes amends. And I won’t either. The dreams I have about Mark Manson get more frequent and more intense all the time. The dreams I have about Mark Manson are impossible to ignore. And that is why I am writing this article today.

I’m cleaning up this blog anyway, as there are lots of broken links and it’s hard for people to find the awesome articles about how to attract women and lots of other fun stuff on this blog. So I decided to clean up and curate the articles I wrote in 2008 and 2009 about Mark Manson so the rest of the world can get more of a taste for how things developed and why I’m still upset about it. Why I’m standing firm for this man to make amends. Mark Manson is, after all, a self-proclaimed connection expert. Why is this so hard for Mark Manson to get happily resolved?

This experience with Mark Manson was emotionally akin for me, to the dream I just described. We were all ready to jump off that cliff together and he chickened out. It decimated my trust in other people and men. I felt totally violated, totally betrayed, and totally disappointed in a way and at a depth of my soul that words simply cannot describe.

Maybe for some people it doesn’t seem like a big deal. I had been almost entirely celibate for five years. It was a big deal to me, and Mark Manson KNEW THAT. I had no interest in having casual sex, and Mark Manson KNEW THAT.

That Mark Manson has been able to justify to himself being a complete asshole when we met in person in New York City and Saigon, Vietnam … A complete asshole to the woman he claimed to love and courted for many months … That he could justify to himself blacklisting me from a professional organization based on false accusations … is beyond my comprehension.

And so we continue on … hoping that one day there will be an end to this, finally, and that Mark Manson and I will finally have peace. How hard is it, Mark Manson, for a self-proclaimed connection expert to get something like this happily resolved?

So be it. Let’s get started with our series of Mark Manson How to Attract Women articles. They were great articles about how to attract women, the only caveat is that unlike Mark Manson you actually do need to be honest with everyone involved in the situation. This applies even moreso if you are dating multiple women.

Mark Manson and I first “met” online when he discovered my blog after I’d only been blogging for a couple of weeks. It may not sound romantic to a lot of people, but for us we were both super passionate about blogging about attraction and seduction. So for us it was instant connection.

I didn’t really take Mark Manson seriously at first, as he is younger than me and he lived across the country from me. In fact, I felt highly skeptical. It took months of Mark Manson addressing my every fear before I really let my guard down and let him in … all the more devastating when he chickened out on that cliff over the ocean and left me to fall by myself into nowhere.

Mark Manson Was Supposedly Honest with His Girlfriend

Yes, Mark Manson had a girlfriend at the time. She was one of the reasons I didn’t take Mark Manson seriously at first. Mark Manson wrote a guest blog for my website, which you can see here:

You notice in this article how Mark Manson says this:

“We’re 100% honest and open about EVERYTHING with each other. We always tell the other person if we’ve been with other people or if we have intentions to be with other people.”

Guest Blog from Mark Manson About Honesty and Open Relationships on Erika Awakening Blog

This article was published on November 7, 2008. Between November 2008 and March 2009, Mark Manson was in a deeply intimate emotional and sexual relationship with me. So OF COURSE I assumed his girlfriend knew about me. Come to find out in LATE March 2009, right before Mark Manson and I broke up … he had ONLY just told her about me. She didn’t know anything about me for MONTHS while he planned an entire life with me.

This, Mark Manson, is NOT attracting women with honesty. This is dishonest and unethical. And very hurtful.

Mark Manson Continues to Deepen Relationship with Erika Awakening

Over the following months in late 2008 and into 2009, Mark Manson continued to develop his relationship with me. Far from a passive participant in all this, he was initiating on a regular basis and as you can see was a regular commentator on my blog (under his former identity of Entropy PUA).

Mark Manson: Some Great Examples of A Guy Leading (December 16, 2008)

And the truth is that, like many of you, I was taken in by the charm of Mark Manson. I thought he was a good guy. In fact, I was one of his biggest fans, as you can see in these posts from early 2009:

Mark Manson: Empathy and Vulnerability

Mark Manson and Seduction Community Synchronicities

So hey don’t be too hard on yourself if you’ve bought in to Mark Manson’s publicly portrayed image. Many of us bought into it, including a long list of his exes who have been just as angry as I am. (Yes, I have emails from Mark Manson to back that up. Does he really not understand that being dishonest with women is going to make women angry?)

Five-Part Blog Series About How Mark Manson Deepened His Relationship with Erika Awakening

Next came a five-part blog series in which I went into quite a lot of detail about how Mark Manson gained my trust by building a very intimate relationship with me. When these posts were shared at the famous RSDNation forum, the guys there all agreed that Mark Manson was creating VERY long-term relationship expectations with me. And indeed that is exactly how it felt to me as well. I had every reason to believe that Mark Manson intended to have a long-term committed relationship with me, in San Francisco. He never once mentioned traveling the world until the weekend we broke up in late March 2009.

So Mark Manson, where exactly is the attracting women with HONESTY? Here was our five-part series on Vulnerability to Build Attraction:

Mark Manson Deepens His Relationship with Erika Awakening, Part 1

Mark Manson Deepens His Relationship with Erika Awakening, Part 2

Mark Manson Deepens His Relationship with Erika Awakening, Part 3

Mark Manson Deepens His Relationship with Erika Awakening, Part 4

Mark Manson Deepens His Relationship with Erika Awakening, Part 5

Mark Manson Identity is Revealed in Part 3 of the Blog Series

By February 2009, Mark Manson and I were preparing to move in together in San Francisco. His girlfriend was moving to Africa, we were deeply in love, and we were talking daily about our new life together. At this time, I wrote this article revealing his identity, that Mark Manson was the man who had formerly been known as Connection Guy in my blog posts. As you can see in the article, I trusted him completely:

Mark Manson – Who Is Connection Guy?

This was another article revealing his identity as Mark Manson:

Mark Manson – His Identity Revealed

I’m going back through to curate the rest of the articles and add them to this list … stay tuned :)

You can see in these articles all the love and respect I had for Mark Manson, and I still feel that. It’s just been clouded the past few years by Mark Manson not owning up to and making amends for a really major mistake that had a very hurtful impact on my life.

It was in March 2009 that Mark Manson abruptly disconnected from me and started breaking all his promises. A couple weeks later I learned that he had not been honest with his girlfriend about his relationship with me. And he had not been honest with me about that. So he had planned a whole life with me in San Francisco and she didn’t even know about it.

Honesty in attracting women? Nope, not even close.

Mark Manson and What Is This About Courage?

Why Did Mark Manson Get Ripped Off by Etihad Air?

Going back to a theme we touched on earlier, you know the true measure of a man is not whether he makes mistakes. We all make mistakes. The true measure of a man is whether he is willing to recognize that he made a really HUGE mistake and correct it. And that, Mark Manson, is what we are all still waiting to see from you …

On a lighter note, for those who want to learn how to build attraction with women THE HONEST WAY, here are a bunch of articles describing the seduction techniques of many famous and powerful men.


erika awakening

10 Dating Mistakes that Will Lose You the Girl

10 Dating Mistakes That Will Lose You the Girl … No Matter How Excited She Was to Meet You … Are You SURE You Want to Wear Those White Tennis Shoes On the First Date?

erika awakeningIt’s pretty common these days for people to meet online. Even if you’re like me, and not into online dating per se, there are lots of “organic” ways to meet people online now through social networking, blogging, and other venues. You can even build a lot of sexual attraction online, if you know what you are doing. At the end of the day though, a relationship if it’s progressing is going to involve being IN PERSON. No matter how smooth a talker you may have become on the internet, make sure you can deliver on your “internet persona” when you wind up in person with the woman. Otherwise, as we are going to talk about here, you will lose the girl the instant you meet. This stuff cannot be faked. If you are making the 10 dating mistakes discussed in this post, you don’t have a superficial problem. You have a deep inner game problem that is going to require committed inner game transformation. Please don’t get discouraged though – this is what my EFT tapping system is designed to correct … so let’s get straight to it …

erika awakening

    Dating Mistake #1 – Do NOT, absolutely do NOT under any circumstances, wear white tennis shoes to the first date

So maybe you’ve been interested in this woman for quite a while. You were attracted to her in part because of her photographs online. In these photographs, she is wearing stylish dresses and stilettos. Her fingers and toes are always manicured. Maybe she just put a bunch of time and energy into having the nicest body of her lifetime. You got “buy in” before the first date, and she’s excited to meet you. She’s gone out of her way to get new dresses and lingerie so you can enjoy how sexy she looks.

And you show up for the first date looking like a computer programmer and wearing … white tennis shoes. Dude, do you seriously not see that you just blew yourself out of the water? Wearing white tennis shoes to a first date says loud and clear: “I don’t care if you’re attracted to me. I have no social intelligence. I can’t be bothered to look good for you.” And you just killed attraction. Now she is already wondering if she is going to have to get rid of you. She’s already thinking about how she can avoid having you meet her friends because she does not want to be embarrassed by the disparity between how she presents herself and how you present yourself.

Whatever you do, guys, do NOT wear white tennis shoes to the first date. Do not dress like a computer programmer. I don’t care how you are rationalizing it to yourself. I don’t care if it’s “more comfortable.” I don’t care if you were traveling. It’s not going to fly. You are not going to get a second date. Don’t do it.

If you need fashion help, and the truth is that most men DO need fashion help, please check out my friend DJ Fuji’s article about this here.
too much pressure in dating and relationships

    Dating Mistake #2 – Do NOT cloud or misrepresent who you are online

Are you still posting profile pictures of yourself from decades ago? Are you posting only photographs that don’t give anyone a really good view of what you look like in person?

Are you bragging to her – explicitly or through implied commentary – about the size of your endowment or bank account? Are you making her think you make seven figures when you don’t? Are you still resting on your laurels of your accomplishments from 10-15 years ago?

If you cloud or misrepresent who you are online, what do you think is going to happen when you finally meet her in person?
Get ready for her face to fall when she sets eyes on you. You show up and you are older, shorter, and scrawnier than she expected … and to top it all off, you just had to wear those white tennis shoes. Meanwhile, she is wearing her flattering and fashionable dress and is feeling absolutely horrified.

If you represented yourself as wealthy, well endowed, confident, and powerful online – and now you show up in person is barely getting by, resting on your laurels from years ago, no fashion sense, meek and mild, with no clear life purpose and nothing interesting to talk about … You’re not going to get a second date. You’re done. Who you are and who you represent yourself to be online MUST match up if anyone is going to trust you at all.

It’s not any different than a 200-pound obese woman representing to men that she is slender and then not understanding why they feel deceived and don’t want to date her again.

Do not make this fatal dating mistake. Instead, do the opposite. Put lots of recent candid snapshots online that show your entire body and relative to other people. You don’t have to put the ugliest photos of yourself online, but it is a good idea to let people know what you actually look like living your real life. Don’t be afraid to be who you are.

dating mistakes

    Dating Mistake #3 – Do NOT be passive

Now if you’ve already made mistakes #1 and #2, the chances that you are going to be able to recover from them are slim to zero. Not because they can’t be recovered from, but because you don’t get it. You don’t get it at such a level that it’s going to require some pretty powerful coaching. But let’s just say you had enough “buy in” before the date that she’s still giving you a chance to prove yourself.

Then being passive is going to destroy your last fleeting chance. Being passive means, you take no initiative to plan and lead activities. You mumble so she has to ask you over and over again to repeat yourself. You allow long awkward silences in conversation so she either has to be bored out of her skull or do all the work of making conversation. You have no clear sense of purpose in your life, and you are constantly approval seeking with her.

Dude, you are done. You’re done. The vast majority of women do not respect a passive man. He goes squarely in the friend zone and he doesn’t get out of the friend zone. Get some coaching, for f*ck’s sake.

A classic hallmark I have seen in hundreds of passive men from around the world at workshops I have coached at is this: a passive guy has to think about what he says before he says it. If this is you, if words do not spontaneously pour out of your mouth without having to think about it, YOU NEED COACHING. Living in denial is not going to help you get the girl. Be humble enough to get the help you need.

take pressure off relationships

Taking a more relaxed approach to relationships with Erika Awakening

    Dating Mistake #4 – Do NOT act creepy

Do not put private photographs of her bedroom online without her permission. Do not befriend her friends in hopes you’re going to get sex that way indirectly. Do not ask leading questions on social media that bring attention to yourself as someone who was sexually involved with her, unless you already clearly have her attraction and consent (which you don’t).

Do not … oh God the list goes on … all of these things arise out of the fact that you have turned her into some kind of “idol” and “object.” You are not even seeing her as a person. You are seeing her as an object that you can acquire. You may think it’s very spiritual but it’s not. It’s creepy. Stop it.

    Dating Mistake #5 – Do NOT have bad breath

If at this point you’re lucky enough that she’s still giving you a chance, you are going to kill it completely if she does not want to kiss you. And she does NOT want to kiss you when you have chronic bad breath. Would you want to kiss you? Probably not.

For goodness sakes, get some chewing gum or SOMETHING to solve the problem. Don’t be so socially unaware that you don’t even realize you have bad breath.

    Dating Mistake #6 – Do NOT attempt to trade being “nice” for getting sex

You are not going to get a woman sexually attracted to you by being “nice.” I see an epidemic among intellectual and spiritual men who are indecisive, wishy-washy, and nice. They seem to think they can trade favors for sex. That is not how it works. If you are sincerely okay with the fact that you are now in the friend zone, and you sincerely just enjoy doing things for her, and you can TRULY BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT THIS … then okay. Real friendship is a great thing. But doing nice things because you think she is going to “come around” and see that she should have sex with you … is just killing the attraction even more.

The truth is that “niceness” is a cover-up for repressed anger. And “nice” guys almost invariably turn into “passive aggressive” guys because inside they are secretly seething with anger. You need help – get the help you need NOW.

dating mistakes

    Dating Mistake #7 – Do NOT ignore her clearly-stated “must haves” in a man

If the woman you are interested in has done her own self-development work, and has clarity about what she wants in a man and a relationship … you ignoring her clearly stated desires is just plain disrespectful. Even worse is when you pretend that you meet her requirements (for example, by exaggerating your business experience) when in fact you have no interest in meeting them. She is going to feel unheard, unseen .. and most likely disgusted.

If she wants to be with a tall guy, and you’re not tall … you’ve really got to ask yourself. Do you want to persuade a woman who is not attracted to you to “settle” for you anyway? Seriously? No, if you were in your right mind, you would never want that. You need to go do your own inner game work and forget about women for a while (learn more about my inner game programs here).

    Dating Mistake #8 – Do NOT buy flowers for a woman who has told you she is not sexually interested

If the woman is already lukewarm, and you buy her flowers or do other romantic things, all it does is put more pressure on the relationship. It makes you look needy and like you are ignoring her clearly stated desires and needs. It makes you look like you are not socially aware. It makes it look like you are trying to “guilt” her into having sex with you. It will not work. Stop it.

    Dating Mistake #9 – Do NOT try to impress her with accomplishments from decades ago

If you are bragging about money you once made, and now you appear to have no life purpose whatsoever … do not expect her to be impressed. Especially if she IS living her purpose. Does this really need to be explained? There is almost no put-together woman on the planet who wants to date a guy whose last major accomplishment was ten years ago. He feels needy and clingy, glomming on to her purpose because he has none of his own.

Go out and develop your own purpose first, and THEN connect with women. Don’t even try to put the cart before the horse because it will not work. Get the coaching you need.
dating mistakes

    Dating Mistake #10 – Do NOT get her to buy your meals

What are you, a house husband with no income of your own? Come on. Sure, don’t go out of your way to take her out to dinner if she’s not romantically interested in you. And it’s fine if she cooks you dinner when you are being the man in the relationship, as her way of giving back. But don’t passively sit around while she cooks meal after meal for you and you don’t even offer to take her out to dinner. When you fail to take initiative and be a decisive and interesting co-participant in this relationship, she will feel exhausted doing the work for you, and she will put you squarely in the friend zone. And for God’s sakes, don’t get her to pay for your meals. Unless you want the complete loss of attraction to go beyond the point of no return … which as you can tell, it has.

So there we have it. Are you making these common and disastrous dating mistakes? Then it’s time to get some help.

erika awakeningWe could list many other dating mistakes here but you get the idea. The main theme running through all of these is that you simply must develop social awareness and empathy, and you simply MUST NOT make a woman the center of your world, ESPECIALLY at the beginning of a relationship. You must develop your own purpose first so you can show up as a powerful equal in the relationship. Or else it’s going to be DUDE, GAME OVER.

Stop being so arrogant or in denial that you don’t get the help you need. Help is available, and we all need to be humble enough to get it.

Oh and by the way, we forgot to cover on especially deadly dating mistake, the biggest one of all. Dishonesty. Always be honest in your attempts to attract women. It’s not worth it hurting people. You can read here about the perils of attracting women with dishonesty.

Now if you’re ready to take your skills in attracting women to the NEXT LEVEL, they you can’t afford to miss my 30-Day Sexual Abundance Challenge. In this powerful 30-Day EFT tapping streaming video program, we release the emotional baggage that prevents many people from claiming their true sexual power. It’s one of my most popular video programs, and you will love it! :)


erika awakening

Seven Seduction Tips for Men: Seducing the Woman of Your Dreams

How to Attract Women: Seven Powerful Seduction Tips for Men to Attract and Seduce the Woman You Want

tips how to attract women tips for seducing women

Learn how to seduce the women you want

There’s something about the tropics that unleashes the primal sexual part of us. And when you combine that with EFT tapping to release sexual fear, it’s a powerful combination. I’m feeling an urge to ditch my brassieres. And I’m also feeling a surprising draw to get back into writing about seduction when I return to San Francisco. It’s been a while since I wrote about how to attract women.

This entire trip has been an interesting play in contrasts. The Holy Spirit uses contrast as a teaching tool to help us get deeper insights into what is and is not working in our lives. Thus, during this trip, I got to see the contrast between what works and what does not work in seduction. It’s just a refresher course for me, as I already knew this of course. But for whatever reason, it has reignited my interest in writing about seduction.

how to attract women tips for seducing women

My photographer understands how the game is played

One thing is certain. Just as “logic” does not work in personal development, and we must instead “seduce” the subconscious mind so that the mind is truly transformed … so also “logic” does not work in seduction between men and women. The only tips for seducing women that are going to work require integration of your emotional and logical minds.

If you think the woman “should” be into you because of all the “nice” things you do for her, you don’t understand how the game is played. At all. And it would be best rather than finding fault in her, to take an honest assessment of what skills you need to learn and where in your life you need to become more whole in order to attract the women you really desire.

On the other hand, the biggest no-no in seduction is dishonesty. Read my cautionary note about attracting women with dishonesty here.

Here’s a refresher course in what works and does not work in seduction:

1. Seduction Tips for Men #1 – Knowing And Developing Your Life Purpose

Some people think only men need to have a “purpose” in life. I don’t buy in to this double standard and believe it is equally essential for men and women. For men though, it is non-negotiable. You must have a purpose that does not rely in any way on the woman you want to seduce. It was a big turn on that my photographer in Costa Rica is so passionate about his work and is running a successful business. At night after we messed around, he would not cling on to me, putting implicit pressure on me to entertain him. Instead, he went home to edit photographs lol! His having a purpose that did not involve me took a lot of pressure off our interactions and made everything a lot more sexy and interesting.

By purpose, I don’t mean you just have an interest or a pastime. I mean you have a driving passion that you have turned into something EXTREMELY successful. Or that it’s obvious you are on your way to doing that. Nothing is less sexy to me than a man who wants to latch on to my purpose without contributing independent value of his own. I don’t mean “theoretical” independent value either. I mean he is a thriving entrepreneur (that’s just what I go for, obviously there are men with other purposes who can attract women), making sales, has a significant audience, and is going for it in his life and his business.

2. Seduction Tips for Men #2 – Not Being Too Agreeable

Some people “get by” in life by agreeing with everything, and particularly with women will tend to agree with everything she says. This comes across as inauthentic and weak.

Yes, of course, we women want a man who shares important core values with us. But we also want some resistance in the relationship to keep things interesting. If a man is always agreeing with me, agreeing with others, but never sticks his neck out to write his own blog posts or Facebook posts or whatever expressing his OWN opinions and insights, then he comes across to me as someone who does NOT have a clear life purpose nor sufficient inner strength and courage to be with me. He also comes across as not being assertive enough to be a satisfying life partner.

A man who is willing to disagree with me, not to be a pain in the tush, but because he authentically disagrees – is sexy. However, if he disagrees with me when I say I am not attracted to him, then that is not sexy. That just demonstrates that he’s not willing to take responsibility for being the most attractive man he can possibly be. And it is a deal breaker.

No guide to seduction tips for men would be complete without mentioning the problem of being too “nice.” Much has also been written about the “nice” guy. Women don’t like nice guys because “nice” is a cover-up for anger and unresolved emotional issues that a man is not facing. We don’t trust “nice” because “nice” is not nice. It is manipulative and weak and duplicitous, but it’s not nice. Don’t expect women to get excited about you sexually by being “nice.”

We don’t want a man who is a jerk. We do want a man who is supporting us and loving us. But not when that is ALL he is doing, because then it feels suffocating. She may be extremely grateful for all your help if you insist on being the “nice” guy. She is not going to have sex with you. And if she does have sex with you, she is probably not in integrity doing it and may just be waiting for something better to come along. Sorry to be so blunt. Sometimes bluntness is what is needed to get through all the ego defenses and excuses that blind us from the truth (see more tough love here).

3. Seduction Tips for Men #3 – Doing the Best You Can With Your Physical Assets

Oh, it’s true we do not want to be loved for our looks. We all want to be with someone who can look beyond the superficial and see the deeper value we are bringing to the table. However, there simply is no excuse for not doing the best you can with what you have, physically.

If you are a man who wants to date a woman who clearly invests a lot of time and energy in looking and smelling her best, and you refuse to attend to these issues in yourself, please do not expect her to be impressed.

My photographer is not a particularly tall guy, and usually I am only attracted to men who are at least six feet and preferably taller. Yet he does the best with what he has, and this is very attractive. The lack of height is largely made up for with the fact that he’s muscular and fit and clearly gets a lot of physical activity. He also attends to his fashion (of course that differs when you think you’re going to be hanging out in a wet pool bar or wading through creeks lol), and he brushes his teeth after every meal to make sure his breath always smells awesome. This is a guy who knows how to play the game.

Attending to being as fit as possible, wearing sexy clothes, and having fresh breath – all of these signal to a woman that you get it. Wearing tennis shoes for anything other than an athletic endeavor, refusing to learn about fashion, and not attending to kissing hygiene is going to turn the woman off.

seduction tips how to attract women4. Demonstrate that You Get It With Subcommunication

A woman, especially a woman with a lot of options, is listening all the time to your sub-communication to see if you are a man who “gets it.” My photographer demonstrated that he gets it when we talked about his dating of other women here in Costa Rica. In spite of the fact that he is an American living in a foreign country, he pretty much never lacks for female company. And his descriptions of his relationships with women here show me that he understands how the game is played. He also demonstrates this understanding with lots of subtle physical and verbal cues as he managed to “plant seeds” for seducing me, even in his emails before my arrival here.

Sub-communication is so subtle that most men do not get it at all.
Seriously. It requires an ability to “tune in” on an emotional wavelength that most men are oblivious to its existence. If you think you “get” what I’m saying here, yet you are not getting the results you want, then you don’t get it.

5. Seduction Tips for Men #5 – Humility and Willingness to Improve

Probably nothing is a bigger turn off to me than a man who thinks he “gets it” who does not get it. Men who succeed with seduction are always learning, improving, calibrating. They don’t think of themselves as finished products. They don’t think of themselves as “above” learning the art of seduction. There is a humility and an openness to the feedback of everyday encounters that characterizes a true master.

Covering up major gaps in your game with “spiritual bullshit,” as I call it, is not going to get the job done. A lot of spiritual people ignore the physical world and the need to ground their spirituality into real world results. You can do this for years if you want, but you can look at the results to see it’s not working. This is what we call denial.

6. Seduction Tips for Men #6 – Being Grounded In the Physical World

Women are not all alike. There are some women who will go for a really spiritual or intellectual guy who is not fully grounded in the physical world. I’m not one of them.

Why are women so attracted to men who participate in extreme sports or really any sports in a serious way? It’s for a lot of reasons. One, it makes the man’s body more fit, see above. Two, there is something about participating in extreme sports that ignites sexuality in a very raw and primal way. As a woman, also, participating like this brings me alive and awakens my sexuality. I recommend it for both genders. Three, men who participate in these kind of endeavors develop an innate confidence that carries over to sex and romance. And lots of other reasons too lengthy to list here.

When my photographer and I had our outdoor photo shoot, crawling over rocks and tree stumps and standing in a cold waterfall in skimpy clothing. When he took me surfing and we felt the primal power of the ocean, while he was touching the small of my back and giving me instructions – THAT is sexy. It’s why we in the seduction community suggest that men take women on exciting first dates when possible. Men who ignore this physical grounding may be able to seduce some women, but probably not the ones they really desire.

Seduction Tips for Men

You can seduce the woman you want with some practice and commitment to learning these Seduction Tips for Men

7. Seduction Tips for Men #7 – Understanding the Difference Between Theory and Practical Results

As someone who has been in internet entrepreneurship for quite a while, I can tell you there is a huge difference between a “good idea” and a successful business. So you were successful in business ten years ago in an unrelated industry? Sorry, that doesn’t cut it. To pretend that long-ago result is the same as having gone out every day for the past five years and made it happen is just … insulting … honestly.

I get countless emails from people who want to “partner” with me in business, yet have not even made one affiliate sale yet. I don’t even answer those emails anymore, for the most part. If you want to partner with me, SHOW ME RESULTS. Otherwise, go out and develop your own business until you have results, and then we can talk. Knowing you can do it “someday” and having already done it are two totally different things. And when you demonstrate that you do not understand the difference, it’s a turn off. It shows you do not have a clue about what women value in a man, and you really do not understand her personally either.

Women are attracted to men who are grounded in physical reality. It’s great to have high ideals so long as you are actually making it happen in the physical world. Especially if you want to seduce a very successful woman, you’re going to need to demonstrate tangible physical results in your own life. See #1 above. Develop your own purpose first, before you even try to go after high value women. Unless you enjoy being rejected over and over again.

You may also enjoy:

How to Attract Women

How Not to Attract Women with Dishonesty


Okay, enough said for now. I have a feeling when I get back to San Francisco, I may start writing about seduction again. Maybe I’ll pretend I’m a tourist in my own town and start approaching life that way … we shall see.

Letting go of FEAR and ANGER at the subconscious level are essential to your success with women. Check out my emotional-releasing products at and to learn more.


erika awakening

p.s. For more sexual confidence, be sure to check out my popular 30-Day Sexual Abundance Challenge.