How Peruvian Guy Hooked Our Two-Set Last Night

So last night I was out at Americano with Czech Girl. We were sitting at the bar and both in a good mood, catching up cuz we hadn’t seen each other since I wrote about I can’t stand that question, bad questions if you’re trying to attract a girl. I was feeling pretty sexy, and Czech Girl even commented cuz I was wearing fishnets and slightly more revealing outfit than usual. (Truth be told, I usually dress pretty conservatively, even when going out. Doesn’t seem to matter, guys hit on me anyway. But I also know how to dial it up a bit when I’m in this sexy kind of mood ;-)

I was, as usual, very innocently minding my own business when I noticed a guy (we’ll call him Peruvian Guy) in a group next to us making pretty intense eye contact with me. I returned it a little bit, and noticed right away his persistence. This already set him apart from the vast majority of guys who are not self-confident enough to persistently hold eye contact with a girl.

Plus, and this goes back to About Being Approachable that I talk about so often on this blog, his eye contact didn’t say “I’m a sleazy pickup guy.” It said: “I’m really intrigued by you for some reason, and I would like to learn more.”

Sure enough, when my friend went to the bathroom, he approached me, and we started talking, and I liked him right away. I knew I was going to like him before he even said one word though. I can’t even remember what he said at first.

He had a strong accent (sexy), and I found myself asking “Where are you from?” Then I started laughing at myself cuz I can’t stand that question, bad questions if you’re trying to attract a girl, as everyone who reads this blog well knows. So I checked in with myself to find out why I was asking it and realized that — because I was actually interested in this guy and because I’m not into fleeting relationships — what I really wanted to ask was:

“Do you live here or are you just passing through?”

Well, it turns out he’s originally from Peru but he lives here. Good.

Then we laughed about how much we both roll our eyes about “interview” conversations. I told him that my new answer to “where are you from?” is going to be “from nowhere and everywhere.”

And there was lots of other good subcommunication. For example, he told me a story of how people sometimes pay his tolls on the bridges. With everything I know about vibe, I know that anyone that sort of thing happens to has a loving, abundant mindset cuz that’s the type of person who attracts that kind of generosity. Plus it’s an upbeat, fun story.

Other things these guys did right:

* When my girlfriend came back from the bathroom, Peruvian Guy’s friends (a guy and a girl) came over and talked to her, so she continued to have fun also. No pressure on me to wind up the conversation so that she wouldn’t be bored.

* Peruvian Guy was definitely touching me more as the conversation went on, but it was in a very subtle way by essentially leaning against the back of the chair I was sitting on. How it felt is like we had known each other for a while and were having a very intimate conversation. I felt desired.

* We laughed a lot. Everyone was in a great mood.

* Peruvian Guy got my number into his phone, sent me a text message while we were standing there (he said “From nowhere to everywhere,” which is good because it referenced our conversation), and when I didn’t respond (cuz we were still hanging out), followed up later in the night with this: “Hey- you never confirmed you get my msg or not … it would be wonderful if you do so.”

You all know I’m a sucker for guys who are assertive about their communication and open about showing their interest in me, so I liked that.

Ok, I’m off to Tahoe now, see you all soon :-)

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Caligula says:

    This is an interesting post Erika. It is nice to read about cool guys, for they are quite rare where I come from (Ann Arbor, go figure).


  2. SMoKeLioN says:

    Whats interesting is many think he did well, but had it been me in his shoes I would have thought that I didn’t do nearly well enough to note it… since I didnt do enough to get her into bed that same night.

    But you know what they say, different folks on different boats

  3. I found a lot of meaning that applies to my own life in this post. Thank you Erika!

  4. Chivalry is good when it comes from a position of strength, like magnanimity. When it comes from a place of weakness, it backfires, and comes across as being servile.

  5. Tyler., sometimes I’d agree with you, but clearly what Dazediva and I goes beyond that. You might even call it…destiny.

  6. Mmmm… I don’t agree.

    Chivalry is a must in guys I date. It’s one of my attraction switches that I’m not willing to do without …

  7. “Dazediva, clearly we need to meet. Where are you located? I’ll fly there.”

    AFC. haha. Get her to fly to you.

  8. hey GS,
    Yeah, if anything, immersing myself in the community has opened me up romantically. And empowered me in my interactions with me. And made me appreciate even more when a guy really knows what he is doing.

    Dazediva, welcome.

    Dan, awesome. :-) The day my blog is not only a forum for improving relationships but also a matchmaking site connecting men and women who otherwise would not have found each other is a very happy day for me. After all, Entropy (Connection Guy) found me through my blog ;-)

    Happy Sunday, everyone.

  9. Dazediva, clearly we need to meet. Where are you located? I’ll fly there.

  10. ooooh sounds dreamy !!! Can’t wait to hear more !! I just encountered a night where the men in the club wouldn’t know the meaning of the word ‘eye contact’ *sigh*

  11. Gentlemen, all of you worried about the community going mainstream – I want this post to ring in your ears.
    Even while analyzing a man’s game, women can still be impressed , and won over by it. The day courage, confidence, humor, and an absolute lack of neediness have no value in the eyes of women, is the day we cease to be human beings. So , onward, upward and remember … fortune favors the brave

  12. I was about to ask how to give persistent upfront eye contact without being creepy, and the answer popped in my mind anyway. “Don’t care about failure.”

  13. Anonymous says:

    If this dude did good he would of pulled one of you

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