Tough Love Alert: Is Your A Course in Miracles Guru Lying to You? How to Release Yourself From the Bonds of Co-Dependency

lies about a course in miracles

My well-worn copy of A Course in Miracles

So yeah, rant alert here. I am feeling fed up with the lies gurus tell, and the people who believe them. The theme of our recent articles is THINK FOR YOURSELF, friends. We all spent most of our lives being conditioned with heaps of steaming bullshit that is crippling our ability to make free choices in the world. It is time to start thinking for yourself. Trust me, your happiness depends on it.

Part of what pushed me over the edge to writing this article was seeing one of my ex Mark Manson’s’s co-dependent enablers (he is surrounded by them) saying on Twitter that my ex was his “new religious leader.” And seeing my ex Mark Manson lap it up like it was actually true or helpful. Friends, if you are turning ANY guru into a new religious leader, including me, there is a serious problem. Even when I am coaching my clients and customers, I insist that they NOT give their power away to me. Whether you like my ideas or not, I am not here to create a religion, nor are we going to be sycophants to science (which is also a religion). This blog is about THINKING FOR YOURSELF and reclaiming the power we all lost in co-dependent families, schools, and jobs being brainwashed slaves our whole lives.

Why on earth would you turn a man who can’t and won’t face his own personal problems into a “new religious leader”?
Because that feels easier than facing your own life with courage and free thinking? To read his blog, you’d think he has former virgins all over the world kissing his feet. It’s a bunch of bullshit and lies. The man is in a co-dependent monogamous relationship (and yes, ALL monogamous relationships are co-dependent) because he doesn’t have the relationship skills to handle true abundance in his love life. He doesn’t have the courage or the skills to get things resolved with me, nor to do what my friend Philippe Lewis is doing and have multiple long-term harmonious relationships. Why are you taking advice from him? Turning my ex or anyone else into a “new religious leader” is just a pathetic excuse for not thinking for yourself.


messages from GodNow let’s get to the so-called A Course in Miracles (ACIM) “gurus.” I am going to share with you two sure signs your ACIM “guru” is lying to you (and probably lying to themselves). This is a comment we received from bluedove on my post about Five Reasons Monogamy Is An Absolute Bar to World Peace:

Hi Erika. I know you can’t speak for someone else, but this particular aspect has always confused me in regard to ACIM. I was introduced to ACIM through Marianne Williamson and “Return To Love”. That book changed my life, and opened my mind to the concept that we create our world. I consider her a foremost interpreter of ACIM, but in several of her other books, like “A Woman’s Worth” and “Enchanted Love” she seems to endorses monogamy for it’s simplicity. I think in Woman’s Worth she likened being in love to riding in a two-seater plane, and it not soaring as high or easily with other passengers. Any thoughts?

Hi bluedove,

Yes, you are absolutely correct. I cannot speak for someone else, and I have not read these books by Marianne Williamson. So I don’t know whether she is claiming that monogamy is consistent with A Course in Miracles. What I can tell you with 100% certainty is that monogamy is NOT in any way, shape, or form consistent with the teachings of ACIM. And any guru who tells you that it is consistent is lying to you and 10 Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves.

My strongest recommendation here is that people not rely on any “guru” to interpret the Course for you, and instead read the text yourself. However, let me be clear that the text has to be read honestly to be effective. And remember that the ego wants to distort EVERYTHING in this world, including the Course, to serve its own nefarious purposes. So I am not going to support my view here with half-assed “interpretations” of the Course. I’m going to cite actual passages from the BOOK ITSELF. And I challenge ANY Course in Miracles guru to cite ANY passage from the official version of the book that in any way can support monogamy. Because it doesn’t exist.

So here are two SURE SIGNS your A Course in Miracles “guru” is lying to you:

1. They Claim that Practicing Monogamy is Consistent with ACIM

The fundamental premise of A Course in Miracles is that nothing that is unshared is holy. To be holy, everything must be shared. By definition then, monogamy which involves the intentional NOT sharing of sex, is not consistent with the Course. One of the most powerful passages in A Course in Miracles that makes this absolutely clear is this one:

“It is sure that those who select certain ones as partners in any aspect of living, and use them for any purpose which they would not share with others, are trying to live with guilt rather than die of it. This is the choice they see. And love, to them, is only an escape from death. They seek it desperately, but not in the peace in which it would gladly come quietly to them. And when they find the fear of death is still upon them, the love relationship loses the illusion that it is what it is not. When the barricades against it are broken, fear rushes in and hatred triumphs.” – A Course in Miracles

You see how it says “use them for any purpose which they would not share with others.” It doesn’t say “some purposes but sex is an exception.” It says “for ANY purpose.” That means it INCLUDES sex. And the Course makes clear throughout that it makes no exceptions and its principles are absolute anyway. I have yet to hear any teacher or student of A Course in Miracles who claims monogamy is consistent with ACIM explain this passage. And they can’t. The only way we can interpret this passage to support monogamy is to LIE TO OURSELVES. And the ego LOVES lying to ourselves and trying to make exceptions where they cannot honestly be made.

Here’s another passage that simply CANNOT be reconciled with monogamy:

“The teacher of God does not want anything he cannot give away, because he realizes it would be valueless to him by definition. What would he want it for? He could only lose because of it. He could not gain. Therefore he does not seek what only he could keep, because that is a guarantee of loss. He does not want to suffer. Why should he ensure himself pain? But he does want to keep for himself all things that are of God, and therefore for His Son. These are the things that belong to him. These he can give away in true generosity, protecting them forever for himself.” – A Course in Miracles

How to Attract Money with EFT TappingNotice again how absolutist ACIM really is? As a Teacher of God, I do not want anything I cannot give away. My bank account is polyamorous that’s for sure. I give out of it to dozens of people every month. And now I’m going to make an “exception” for sex and NOT give that away freely? Baloney. Not if I’m being honest about the Course. I cannot keep a “special” partner all for myself unless I want to suffer. And I do not want to suffer. Folks, if your ACIM “guru” is claiming that monogamy is consistent with the Course, the Emperor has no clothes. He or she is lying to you, and probably lying to himself or herself as well. #thinkforyourself

I could cite dozens and dozens of passages from A Course in Miracles that are totally inconsistent with monogamy and CANNOT be reconciled with any form of exclusivity. Everything must be shared to be holy. Anything that is not shared will become a source of pain. There is no room to argue about this. It is the simple truth of this book. Here’s another passage:

“The special love relationship is an attempt to limit the destructive effects of hate by finding a haven in the storm of guilt. It makes no attempt to rise above the storm, into the sunlight. On the contrary, it emphasizes the guilt outside the haven by attempting to build barricades against it, and keep within them. The special love relationship is not perceived as a value in itself, but as a place of safety from which hatred is split off and kept apart. The special love partner is acceptable only as long as he serves this purpose. Hatred can enter, and indeed is welcome in some aspects of the relationship, but it is still held together by the illusion of love. If the illusion goes, the relationship is broken or becomes unsatisfying on the grounds of disillusionment.” – A Course in Miracles

Right? Let’s be honest. That is exactly the purpose monogamy serves.
It is an attempt to create a “haven in the storm of guilt” by excluding our brothers and sisters. And as we saw in the comments on the Five Reasons post here, this is exactly what monogamous people are doing. They are terrified of their brothers and sisters so they are attempting to “build barricades” against them with walls of exclusivity. Except it doesn’t work, because as we talked about, you CANNOT ESCAPE from negative people by avoiding them. They are just a reflection of US, and only by facing and healing them are we going to be healed.

I could cite dozens more passages, hopefully you get the idea. If your A Course in Miracles “guru” claims that you can practice monogamy and be true to the Course, they are 10 Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves.

Hey, I get it. It’s not easy to face our fears and love all of our brothers and sisters equally. Yet that is exactly what we must do to fulfill the promises of Heaven on Earth offered by A Course in Miracles. Reading the Course while continuing to practice monogamy, eating meat, and other ego-based practices is NOT going to get the job done.

2. They Claim that Death is A “Natural” Part of Life

SistineChapelRecently a friend of mine lost her pet unnecessarily. This friend failed to do the emotional work that would have been required to save her pet. And it appears that her A Course in Miracles “guru” supported this “acceptance” of death as a natural part of life. If she had come to me instead of her “guru,” her pet would probably still be living. I don’t know all the details, yet I have heard MANY supposed teachers and students of the Course talking about death as a “natural” part of life over and over again. So let’s get something absolutely clear.

There is nothing “natural” about death. And A Course in Miracles could not be more clear about this. Death is an ego device devised to keep us separate from God and pretending we are bodies subject to the “laws” of time. Again, I can cite dozens of passages that make this abundantly clear so let’s just start with a few:

“Miracles enable you to heal the sick and raise the dead because you made sickness and death yourself, and can therefore abolish both.” – A Course in Miracles

“But what of those whose dedication is not to live; the black-draped “sinners,” the ego’s mournful chorus, plodding so heavily away from life, dragging their chains and marching in the slow procession that honors their grim master, lord of death? Touch any one of them with the gentle hands of forgiveness, and watch the chains fall away, along with yours. See him throw aside the black robe he was wearing to his funeral, and hear him laugh at death. The sentence sin would lay upon him he can escape through your forgiveness. This is no arrogance. It is the Will of God. What is impossible to you who chose His Will as yours? What is death to you? Your dedication is not to death, nor to its master. When you accepted the Holy Spirit’s purpose in place of the ego’s you renounced death, exchanging it for life. We know that an idea leaves not its source. And death is the result of the thought we call the ego, as surely as life is the result of the Thought of God.” – A Course in Miracles

“Death’s worshippers may be afraid. And yet, can thoughts like these be fearful? If they saw that it is only this which they believe, they would be instantly released. And you will show them this today. There is no death, and we renounce it now in every form, for their salvation and our own as well. God made not death. Whatever form it takes must therefore be illusion.” – A Course in Miracles

You see? Death is not a “natural” part of life, according to A Course in Miracles. It is an ego fraud. However, if your A Course in Miracles teacher is being a hypocrite and still eating meat and going along with killing animals for food – and not even looking for new solutions about what the heck we are going to feed our pets now that we understand we cannot condone death in any form … then yes, they are LYING TO THEMSELVES and therefore how are they going to teach this Course to you?

I do not even pretend to be in perfect alignment with A Course in Miracles. I am just now opening up my sexuality to multiple partners (see post about my erotic party this weekend). And although I do not eat meat anymore or buy leather, I do not know what to feed my cats as a new solution has not yet materialized. But at least I am going to be HONEST about where I am out of alignment with the Course and not pretend it can be used to justify my fears and misaligned practices.

So today, if you got one thing from this article, it’s this – go straight to the Source and think for yourself, friends. We have an entire coaching industry that is just as co-dependent as our families of origin were. It is fine to hire a coach and read blog articles so long as you don’t give your power away. God is accessible directly by anyone through a committed meditation practice. I don’t take A Course in Miracles as the truth blindly. I take it as the truth because after studying and practicing it since 2007, it has never once let me down in terms of giving practical guidance for making my life better and helping me serve the highest good of everyone on the planet. And THAT ought to be ONLY standard that persuades anyone to listen to anything.

But I don’t go to “gurus” for my interpretations. I read the book and do my best to be honest with myself about what it actually says.


Erika Awakening, Teaching People How to Create Everyday Miracles at TAPsmarter

Erika Awakening is one of the world’s foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and living life on your own terms.