The Lies We Tell Ourselves Seem Like the “Truth” … Until We Realize They Aren’t
What is the biggest lie you are telling yourself right now?
Fritz the Cat who changed my life
Let’s start out softly here before we get into the hard core tough love. Many of us are very defensive about our limiting beliefs, and especially we will defend to the death our self-deceptions about money, sex, the people and ideas that make us uncomfortable, and relationships … So to show you that I’m not preaching from a pulpit on high … I want to begin this article with a personal story. I want you to see just how convinced I was how TRUE was the lie I was telling myself. And what it took for me to see through my own baloney to the truth …
“It’s my cat’s fault.”
One of the biggest lies I told myself for a long time – and we will get to this one in a minute because a lot of people have it – is that I was “not good at business.” This crippling limiting belief kept me stuck in stifling institutions for most of my life. Like so many people, I slaved away at school or jobs with very little freedom because I didn’t think I could do any better. I didn’t believe in my ability to create a really amazing life without someone holding my hand and telling me what to do. And yet what is even stranger is how when I finally broke free from my day job and officially became a location-independent entrepreneur … I still wasn’t free.
And that brings us to the first of the twelve biggest lies we tell ourselves:
1. “I Can’t Because of My Responsibilities”
I was not free and could not travel the world … because it was my cat’s fault. Lol, no … *really* it was my cat’s fault. Here I was – miraculously – with no day job, a really solid income from my location-independent internet-based business. I had what most people only dream of having. In theory I could immediately started traveling the world, living anywhere, having adventures. But I didn’t. Oh, I spent more time at my cabin in the Lake Tahoe area for sure. But for two years I never left the United States and barely traveled within the country.
Why? Well, I had this bulletproof story about how I had to take care of my cats. The excuses were all piled up on one another. If I were going to leave the country, I would want to go for two weeks at least and probably four. A cat sitter would only come twice a day so I just *couldn’t* leave the cats alone that long without me. Nobody could take as good of care of them as me. My only option would be to give them away to someone else, and I couldn’t do that because I had made a COMMITMENT to my cats. Blah blah blah lol.
It reminds me of this quote from A Course in Miracles:
“Prisoners bound with heavy chains for years, starved and emaciated, weak and exhausted, and with eyes so long cast down in darkness they remember not the light, do not leap up in joy the instant they are made free. It takes a while for them to understand what freedom is.”
Here I was an empowerment coach with a thriving business and no day job, helping lots of people reach beyond their limiting beliefs. And I could not leave the state because of my cats. To me, it seemed like the absolute TRUTH. In fact, I even made up the story that I didn’t want to travel. I was perfectly happy just staying at home. That’s how deep the lies went. Never once did I think that maybe, just MAYBE, there could be some creative option that would allow me to have EVERYTHING I wanted without any sacrifice.
It’s interesting how this lie came to be seen as the lie that it was. I often tell my clients that they can expect things sometimes to get worse before they get better. Well, the truth is I was feeling frustrated with my perceived imprisonment. It seemed really unfair that people like my ex could be running free all over the world while I was imprisoned in California. So I applied my coaching method to the situation and tapped on the unfairness and frustration.
That’s when something happened that I never expected. Everything got MUCH WORSE. One of my beloved cats Fritz the Cat developed severe kidney failure and almost died. When he did recover enough to come home, I was told by the veterinarian that I would have to give him subcutaneous fluids via hypodermic needle EVERY DAY for the rest of his supposedly short life. I told the vet that I did not think this was emotionally sustainable for us, and she told me I didn’t have any other options if I wanted him to live as long as possible.
SLAM! went the prison door. Already feeling stifled by the caretaking of my cats, now my life had suddenly turned into sheer drudgery. Not only could I not leave my home for a few days … I couldn’t leave at all. Who was going to come by to feed them AND inject him with subcutaneous fluids every day when he wouldn’t even cooperate with me giving them. I spent entire days dreading the moment when I would have to drag him into the bathroom and stick a needle into his neck. He would fight me the whole time, and I would get stabbed with the needle, or we would have to use three needles in one night and I was brought to tears over and over again. I was at the end of my rope and feeling totally hopeless and very upset.
Well, now I had a very stark choice. I could do what most caretakers of “kidney cats” do and resign myself to the veterinarian’s limiting beliefs and our cruel fate. Or I could take charge of the situation and find a new way. Ironically, it was our extreme health crisis that finally gave me enough motivation to break our way to freedom.
Fritz the Cat and I made up our minds that we simply were not going to live this way, as chronic patient and caretaker in a co-dependent death spiral. We just weren’t going to do it. And in my heart, death was never a solution. My Fritz deserved to live, and he deserved to live a happy and healthy life. So I resolved instead to go all the way the other direction, and do what the vet had told us was impossible: we were going to get him healed. I used Emotional Freedom Technique (also known as EFT tapping – read more about it here) and tapped my rear end off for several months, and his test results improved and improved … until on intuition I took him off subcutaneous fluids. And miraculously, six weeks later, the veterinarian – who had told me it was not possible he would ever be off subcutaneous fluids, AGREED WITH ME that he didn’t need them anymore. If you’ve ever had a cat with kidney failure, you know one of the biggest problems is getting them to eat. I’m happy to report that we have the OPPOSITE problem. Fritz the Cat wants to eat so much and so often that if I didn’t ration his food, he would soon be looking more like a whale than a cat :)
(By the way, if you want to improve your health or your pet’s health with EFT tapping, I have several products for that including the 30-Day Health & Fitness Challenge. Feel free to private message me for more information.)
Woo hoo!! It wasn’t all a bed of roses after that, as I was still giving him extra water in his meals three times a day just to make it easy on his kidneys, but at least now there was some light in the situation. And I had gone so stir crazy that I finally came up with an idea that I could have had from the beginning … if I had not been BLINDED by my own self-deception. I could get someone to come and STAY at my home, take care of my home office, the mail, the plants, watch over everything … and also take care of my cats.
Erika on her month-long trip to Costa Rica this year
Here’s the real shocker. I thought it would be hard to get people to volunteer to do this for me. Why did I ever think that? I have prime living space in California … it turns out that LOTS of people want this job of taking care of my home … and my next extended trip abroad is probably just around the corner. Problem solved. Freedom discovered. Now I truly HAD become a location-independent entrepreneur.
So now that I have shared just how completely SNOWED I was by my own baloney, and how radically UNTRUE it turned out to be … I hope all of you will read this list of the 12 Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves with an open mind. Open to the possibility that the more you want to defend one of the lies below, the more you need to let it go to find the freedom and happiness that is your birthright …
“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” – Brene Brown
I had to let go of my micro-managing and my fear about my cat’s health in order to travel abroad … What fear do YOU need to let go of to be living the life you really want instead of the life you are settling for?
2. “I Can’t Afford It”
Oh, this is almost everyone’s favorite lie. It’s not any more true than the lie I was telling myself that “I’m not good at sales.” It turned out that when I wanted to be, I could be pretty damn amazing at sales. I made $250,000 in six months at a time when my website was only getting 1500 monthly visitors. Most internet entrepreneurs would say that result is IMPOSSIBLE because you HAVE TO have more web traffic to make that kind of money. It’s not impossible … because I did it (How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping).
It’s not true that you “can’t afford it.” Perhaps you haven’t become motivated enough to afford it. Perhaps you’re still sleeping in your parents’ basement in a hopelessly co-dependent relationship and haven’t looked yourself in the mirror lately to ask “why am I doing this to myself”? Perhaps you’re too scared to tell us the real fears behind the knee-jerk “I can’t afford it.” Perhaps you’re still telling yourself that because of the country you live in, or your family background, or whatever other excuse there is, you somehow are the one special snowflake who can’t take advantage of our now global economy and build an internet business FROM ANYWHERE …
I don’t care how “bulletproof” your story is that you “can’t afford it” … it’s baloney. It’s just as much baloney as “It’s my cat’s fault.” If you want it enough, you will find a way to afford it. Get in the habit of saying “I want” or “I don’t want” rather than “I can’t afford it.” It’s more honest and it will help you get deeper into the real truth about why you are or are not doing something.
(By the way, if you need help with your limiting beliefs around money, this is one of my specialties. My starter product is the How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping)
3. “It’s Popular, So It Must Be A Good Thing”
We see this lie all the time, and there are so many examples of it that we will only mention a few here. It’s popular to watch television, does that make it helpful? It’s popular to be poor or barely getting by or deeply mired in debt – does that make it the right goal for you to have? It’s popular to give all your power away to so-called “scientists” and let them make all your decisions for you (we’ll get to that one in a moment). Have you ever heard of thinking for yourself?
It’s popular to believe that your veterinarian is some kind of “god,” and when they tell you that your beloved cat will NEVER recover and you’ll have to give him subcutaneous fluids with a needle indefinitely – and it’s popular to believe that is the TRUTH because some false god told you so.
It’s popular to believe that if your doctor tells you that you have a terminal illness, it’s actually true. And now you should spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to POISON your body with chemotherapy and radiation so you can squeeze a few more absolutely horrific days out of your pathetic little life.
It’s popular, but it’s not at all helpful. And it’s also not true. You make up your mind to get healed, and you’ll be healed.
It’s popular to get deeply into debt like I did going to graduate school, but it’s not at all wise in this day of the internet economy where you’d be better off starting your own business IMMEDIATELY.
SO STOP BUYING IN TO THIS BALONEY.
Almost without fail, the best decisions I’ve made in life and business were the ones that were the exact OPPOSITE of what everyone else thought I “should” do. Did Bill Gates stay in college? It’s “popular” to believe you have to graduate from college to be successful. Is it true? No, it’s not. It’s a lie.
All I can say is, stop doing what is popular and start thinking for yourself. Does it make sense? Do you want your life to suck? Then stop listening to everyone else’s limiting beliefs and believing they are the truth. #thinkforyourself
4. “Everyone Else Wants It, So I Should Want It Too”
This applies to everything. You look around and everyone wants that “prestigious” job. Almost everyone claims to want monogamy. A lot of people think they want a Ferrari, but have you thought for five seconds about what a pain in the rear end it’s going to be to maintain? I can pretty much guarantee you, you don’t actually want a Ferrari. It’s yet another golden handcuff that will imprison you. Whether it imprisons you because you have to garage it, worry about it getting scratched, or because you stupidly go deep into debt acquiring a totally impractical possession that won’t give you what you really want … you don’t actually want it.
Maybe you think you want what you think the Ferrari is going to get you. The approval of other people, the social confidence, the women. It won’t get you any of those things. I had a private client once who – before he started coaching with me – blew a whole bunch of money on a fancy sports car thinking it would solve his social problems. Wow, did he look back on that as an act of stupidity. It was inner game coaching with me that solved his social confidence problems. The car provided nothing but disillusionment.
Stop being hypnotized by magazines and television shows and marketing pitches … start a meditation practice, because nothing and I mean NOTHING will get you in touch faster with your REAL desires, which have nothing to do with worldly opinion, than a meditation practice. This goes back to #3 … #thinkforyourself
5. “That Person Annoys Me So I Should Cut Him/Her Out of My Life”
I’ve written extensively about this subject in other articles, so I’m not going to repeat it all here. For a really solid article on this topic, CLICK HERE. I keep negative people in my life to keep myself honest. They show me where I need to grow. If I had the people skills that I ultimately want to have, I could reach everyone. No exceptions. If I can’t reach someone, it’s because I need to develop better skills. If I can’t resolve a conflict with someone, and they are still upset with me, I am lying to myself if I cut that person out of my life. It means I need to address something in myself not avoid it. Sometimes I take breaks from “negative people,” improve my skills, and then I go back and try again. Because if I think it’s “the other person,” I’m lying to myself. If I start judging someone as mentally ill or “not worth my time” or even just “annoying,” I’m lying to myself.
6. “The Physical World Is Real”
It’s not. Everything you see is a projection of your mind. Which is why you cannot escape a “negative person” through avoidance. This is way too much to explain in this article. The way to understand this is through experience. Change the beliefs in your subconscious mind, and you will see the “physical world” change before your eyes. That is also why we can heal kidney failure with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping). The kidney failure was never real in the first place. All I had to do was change my mind about the outcome I wanted …
Yeah I know that’s a brain f*ck … and I ask you to try try try not to dismiss it out of hand. Sit with it. It just might be the best thing you ever do for your life to change your mind about this lie.
7. “If It’s Backed Up by ‘Science,’ It MUST Be True”
Oh Gawd, where can we begin? I don’t consider myself a stupid person. I grew up in a house of scientists and was taught science from an early age and of course I thought it was the “truth.” But boy was I annoyed in high school when I would read about the scientific studies that came in and out of fashion. One week you were supposed to eat all carbohydrates, the next week they changed their mind and it was protein, the next week they changed their mind again and it was fat … Science couldn’t make up its mind about anything. And as time went on, I noticed that people were able to use “science” to back up just about any ridiculous theory they wanted to bandy about …
This falls in the category of #thinkforyourself. If science were true, it would be consistent. I spent most of my life searching for ANY consistent belief system on this planet, and as far as I could tell it didn’t exist. Everything was relative. It was not until I finally found the ultra-powerful book A Course in Miracles that I said … ah yes … finally something that is believable. Finally something that is consistent.
Lost weight I could not lose since junior high with no diet and no gym membership – through the power of my coaching method and the 30-Day Health & Fitness Challenge, http://tapsmarter.com/health
Science would tell you that you have to spend hours at the gym and go on a diet to lose weight. Then how come I was able to do it with EFT tapping and no gym membership? Because I stopped believing in science a long, long time ago …
You think science is your friend. It’s not. It’s limiting your ability to live in absolute freedom. Its primary purpose should be as a guide for releasing ourselves and the rest of the planet from limiting beliefs.
And here’s another point. Are you aware that so-called “science” has been used throughout history to justify appalling practices like racism and sexism … and even genocide? It can be used to justify ANYTHING, that is how we know it’s not true.
Think for yourself, people. How many times has science told you something was true, only to be contradicted by another supposedly bulletproof study a few years later? It’s not true. None of it is true. What Is Holistic Belief Reprogramming?.
8. “God Is Dead, And Everyone Who Believes in God Is Manipulating People”
Boy, I’m on a roll here lol. The irony of the fact that science is more of a religion than religion is, is unfortunately lost on most people. And the ego wants you to believe that religion equals God. Because religion IS a disaster, and if you can believe that religion and God are the same thing, then you’ll never want to believe in God.
You are God. Religion was created to pretend that God is outside of us, and to bastardize God so completely that nobody would want to have anything to do with Him.
(I wrote more about releasing our childhood baggage about religion here.)
Think for yourself, people. Do you really think any religion that advocates stoning women to death for adultery could possibly have anything to do with God? No, it’s not God’s fault. Everything is just our beliefs. It is what WE MADE OF GOD with the ego mind that sucks. Start having a direct relationship with God, read A Course in Miracles, start stripping away your limiting beliefs and accepting divine guidance STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE without an intermediary … and watch how quickly you say to yourself … “ah I see, I was lying to myself all these years.” I am God, and I can fix this whole f*cking mess because I created it.
9. “I Feel Comfortable with What This Person Is Teaching, So It Must Be Good”
Yeah, the comfort zone is not our friend. Remember how it seemed SO TRUE that it was my cat’s fault I couldn’t travel? Comfort zone. I was really comfortable to stay home a lot, but I wasn’t free. Freedom means you have a choice, and you’re making a real choice. Not choosing something out of fear and baloney and excuses that you can’t even see through any more because you’ve been telling yourself the lies for so long … and piling lies on top of lies …
My rule of thumb is that if I’m too comfortable with it, it’s probably not good for me … and conversely …
The flip side of this lie is “I Feel UNcomfortable with What This Other Person Is Teaching, So It Must Be Bad”
Yes, most people on the planet are avoiding everything they really need to heal their lives because it feels VERY uncomfortable. It feels horribly uncomfortable to say “YES f*ckers, I Am God, and So Are You.” We think someone is going to put us in a straitjacket and accuse us of having messiah syndrome.
It feels horribly uncomfortable to look someone in the eye and say “science is baloney.”
It feels awful to tell people that monogamy is not in their best interests and is another lie of the ego designed to imprison you forever.
It feels awkward to tell people that their cat is sick because of their own emotional issues that they won’t face.
Yet all of this is the truth. And the fact that it makes us VERY UNCOMFORTABLE ought to be our first clue that we are on the right path … See above, if popular opinion is telling you to do it, it’s probably wrong.
10. “I Don’t Have the Time”
See above about “I can’t afford it.” Start EFT tapping on a regular basis and watch how the Universe becomes your ultimate time manager and opens up wide swaths of time to do whatever you want. As Wayne Dyer once said, “The more you advance toward God, the less he will give you worldly duties to perform.”
Want to open up more time in your life. Try out my 30-Day Simplify Your Life Challenge. Most of what we do every day is accomplishing nothing. Cut all of that out and watch your days become shockingly open and free.
How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping11. “The People Who Are Doing What I Secretly Wish I Were Doing But Won’t Be Honest With Myself Must Be … Evil, Greedy, Selfish, Jerks, [Fill in the Blank]”
Someone dear to me recently wrote an article where he rationalized why he’s not flying in first class. He made it about the “greedy Monsanto CEO” in first class and pretended he was “better than” the CEO. BALONEY. He’s lying to himself. He’s scared to have what he really wants, so scared he won’t even admit what he wants. He’s terrified of what other people would think of him and everything he does is gauged by how popular it’s going to be. That doesn’t make any of it true. NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY wants to be crammed like a sardine into coach class on long international flights if they have a choice.
We all need to start being a whole lot more honest with ourselves, folks. If you find yourself judging someone else as greedy, selfish, morally repugnant, mentally ill, messiah complex … that’s all lying to ourselves. All of it.
12. “If I Ignore This Problem, It Will Go Away”
This is another topic I’ve written about extensively elsewhere. I won’t repeat it all here. Problems go away when they are faced, not avoided. If you’re teaching courage and pretending that this little nagging issue that’s been hanging around for the past four and a half years is “not your problem,” you’re lying to yourself.
If it keeps showing up and knocking on your door, it’s your problem. And if you actually face it, you may just find it to be the blessing in disguise that I found in my cat’s horrific kidney failure. I thought it was the worst thing that had EVER happened to me. Yet by facing it with courage full on, I set myself free …
Word to the wise.
Love,
Erika Awakening, Teaching People How to Create Everyday Miracles at TAPsmarter
Erika Awakening is one of the world’s foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and living life on your own terms.
Darn it.. u used every excuse in my book and NOW since you gave all your views… We soo have to face our fears, issues and whatnot to move on and to think about our self.. thanks for sharing, you sure took a lot of time to jot it all done.. LOVE that..
My cousin does EFT tapping and I love it. She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. To me she is the epitome of a life coach. I really do admire those who can help others, it takes a special person to do that. Sometimes its hard as you have to be satisfied in your own life before helping others. My friends got great results with my cousins technique and she truly loves what she does. I was a skeptic at first however it helped. My issues was allowing negative people in my life and getting anxiety due to it. MY cousin helped with the EFT, it works and I thank her for it.
Very glad to hear it worked for you Mommy2jam, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment :)
great info. I am working to stop telling myself that I can’t afford things. I am now looking at it as an investment. Thanks for the post.
Hi Notorious, thanks for stopping by. Yea even I can sometimes still get in MONEY FEAR MODE, I’ve experienced some of it this summer. It really doesn’t work well lol … recently I’ve started leaving bigger gratuities at restaurants as a way to ease myself back into feeling more abundant. :)
Strange you should write that about your cat. The cat I had before the one I have now almost died. He had eaten that bad food that went around back then. He was hospitalized and they told me he would not make it–They did not know Gremlin–OR ME. I used to visit him every evening after work and stand there petting him (mind you he kept his back to me-he was very angry at me)-my Mom used to visit him in the afternoons-Long story short-he lived to come home. They also told me that he would need intravenous fluids-I said NO-that was no kind of life for anyone! Of course I spent the rest of his life holding a glass for him to drink out of-he would jump into the ledge of the kitchen sink–and not only me–if friends came over and he was thirsty–he would meow at them until they held a glass for him! Spoiled? Most certainly–but he lived for another 5 years without needles being stuck into him!
Glad to hear your story Michele and that you got five more years with Gremlin :) It’s adorable that you would hold the glass for him. With Fritz, I just add extra water to his meals three times a day. No needles and he’s doing great. Thanks for stopping by :)
You may enjoy this one: https://erikaawakening.com/six-secrets
I’m guilty of some of these lies! :) Thanks for sharing. This was a great article.
Hi Amy, thanks for stopping by …
I don’t think I can get to the point where I would trust a total stranger to live in my house while I was away. We do have people check on our house, but living there…nope.
Hi Scott, thanks for commenting. Definitely an act of trust and I can’t say that everything has gone 100% smoothly, either. I just keep using EFT tapping on issues that arise, hopefully to create more trust and better outcomes as I go along. Cheers.
You gave me a lot to think about here about my own limiting beliefs. I know that I sometimes say “well, I’m just not good at numbers” and so I tend to use that excuse to avoid things that I don’t want to do, like taxes, bookkeeping, keeping a check record, etc. I could actually pick on myself all day I think, sometimes I’m not sure if I’m just being funny or telling the truth about myself in a really funny way… but my limited beliefs usually come out in sarcasm and jokes about myself.
Good article, gave me so much to think about.
Thanks for the comment, Lesley. Seems to me our whole lives are constructed of limiting beliefs. Who knows what would happen if we let those beliefs go? :)
I cast no judgement in my question of Erika and Matt in particular, but do you have kids?
I’m new to your way of thinking. I have found this site enlightening and intriguing. Perhaps even life changing.
But I have found that once there is a special person (pun very much intended) in your life, sometimes the ‘excuses’ are simply true. Children represent the ultimate special connection. And like it or not, for a certain period of time they are entirely dependent on parents, especially mother. Given, with time they can learn to live my lifestyle of choice. Prior to that stage the adult is somewhat imprisoned by the child. It is simply a fact.
Hi Erika,
I am very curious to look at several things from your tapsmarter website, but it isn’t working.. Is my computer crazy or is the website having problems?
Love.. Dorien
Hi Dorien, thanks for commenting. Our hosting provider had some major problems earlier today and all websites were down for a couple of hours. I think everything is back up now so hopefully you can now access http://tapsmarter.com. We have a free forum there for Q&A at http://tapsmarter.com/forum.
Thanks Erika! An excellent article and very well written! There’s a lot I completely resonate with and some I need to tap on!
I’m reminded of about 20 years ago when a friend of mine (an agnostic physicist!!) said “It’s amazing how people will firmly deny the possible existence of a God due to lack of proof, yet they unquestioningly believe every word scientists say even though our conclusions are continually being proven wrong! As scientists, we know we will often be proven wrong but we have to work with what we have available to us at the time, and then keep an open mind. It’s the only way to move forward.”
This has really stayed with me ever since.
Hi Erik,
Thanks so much for commenting here. I just loved your story about your physicist friend and what he had to say about science. I feel so frustrated seeing people blindly following science without realizing that it IS a religion. We all need to think for ourselves :)
Hope to see you here again soon :)
cheers,
Erika
Absolutely, think for yourself, love this! You are right, it is very scary to challenge accepted beliefs and I do tell myself lies. I get lost in the illusion and don't trust my knowing because physicality painfully shows me otherwise. I forget the power we all share. It takes vision and focusing on the inner god within and allowing that to guide us. It is the most reliable compass.
It is so amazing and helpful to read your posts which say much of what I have come to believe.There are few people I encounter who take these issues seriously, just accepting what they are shown and believing that we are slaves to society, religion,conditioning, living in fear & powerlessness. These thinking for yourself,(or what I like to believe we already universally know within, the god/knowing within each of us)concepts are so foreign and threatening that they are immediately dismissed without examination. And free thinkers are labelled brainwashed and crazy without giving it a second thought or any credibility.
I do believe it helps to have an actual experience of oneness as in a near death experience, satori or gnosis. Where there is the holy instant, when we realize the truth in a tangible experiential way of the true nature of reality, the pure light and boundless, expansive oneness, loving, ecstatic ,infinite bliss of home.
It is still easy to get lost when painful challenges arise, I can attest to this. Yet afterwards one can see the method behind the madness. I have yet to heal all of my relationships, maybe when I am less afraid and have more "skills." It is hard to return to where you have been seemingly hurt and abused. It doesn't feel very loving of oneself to re-engage in what has been a hurtful relationship.
I do believe monogamy is not ideal, yet I haven't been able to see arrangements which would really allow the type of freedom described. Polyamory is even more problematic. And sex as a recreational pursuit with minimal emotional bonding is something I don't fully understand. Might as well masturbate. So agape love applied to sex? How would that work?
Being in these physical bodies is confining and to me separation or thinking we are any different or less than spiritually than anyone else is the special relationship. So being in these bodies complicates things from the outset, separates us. Idk…loving as best I can knowing that it all gets done and all is well always. I am still here dreaming, so there you go. Heh :) <3 Though linear time is an illusion as well according to what my inner knowing says…everything is all happening at once so everything is already done, so to speak, my brain fries when I consider this :D
I was a "location independent entrepreneur" before you were – when I dropped everything to move to Biarritz, France in 2005. The difference with me is that I don't tell myself why I shouldn't, I simply act on my impulses and don't think the plan through. If I thought these things through, I'd probably never do much of anything.
I have told so many people how possible it is to live overseas etc. and still make a living but a lot are still skeptical. It's such a dream not to have to work for corporation. I could never go back! P.S. All my best to Fritz the Miracle Cat and his brother Harvey!
Thanks for sharing, Stacie. I’m sure if we keep at it, we will help to open hearts and minds all over the world … and of course save a lot of cats in the process ;)
I loved every point you made in the is article but most particularly the story about your cat and his healing! Isn't amazing how we can heal ourselves (and our animals) once we break through the limiting beliefs from doctors, veterinarians, society, and ourselves!? When I tell people I used to have allergies and would get sick a lot, and am now been allergy free for years and never get sick….they look at me like I'm crazy because they think it's not possible! The only thing that is stopping them is their own mind!
We believe everything is possible when we are children until our well meaning adults convinced us otherwise! We need to get back to that child-like state and have that purity of thought we used to…..then things will come more easily for us!
And science! I find it fascinating that there are some that need scientific proof….but science changes as quickly as the wind blows so there is no reliability….just a false sense of reliability. Intuition is a better measurement but we've been trained to not trust it….so we will follow the masses like a good minion.
Great article Erika! Staying authentic and truthful takes courage but it sets us free!! We love that brutal honesty!
Wow I just feel so amazed by all these wonderful comments. It felt amazing to write this article … and to know it really spoke to you … that feels even more amazing. Thank you :) Yes, to get back to the place within us that is true, where everything is possible … :)
Well, Erika…. all I can say is that the cat is out of the bag. ;) .. and that was a fun read, because it is becoming my life experience as well. There's nothing "out there" except us… kinda spooky, until it gets to be really fun, because there is nothing out there but us. It is the most beautiful thing.
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It's funny isn't it? I loved the quote from the Course about a prisoner who is chained not realizing he/she can stand up until they realize what freedom really is. I can't describe to you the feeling of elation (although I would suspect at this point you have felt it, considering that the "problems" you state are gone) that comes with realizing the idea of freedom is not simply an idea. It is truth.
My mind has been so bound to certain concepts for so long that it takes a while to realize them as concepts about reality rather than reality itself. The amount of liberation I am experiencing from money to relationship is simply staggering. In all areas of my life there is just simply kind of a ringing anthem that goes something like, "I am the Holy Son of God Himself; all power in Heaven and earth has been given to me." The really, really wonderful part is the realization that the only thing that can throw me into arrogance, and the subsequent downfalls I would experience, is my separated thought that "I am the one making this work." It has been in the realization of the complete importance of relationship, the attending gratitude and appreciation for those relationships, and the praise to God for the way I am created that has changed this most current part of the journey for me. In other words, it is becoming stable and sustainable because of gratitude and appreciation. For this stabilization, I have the greatest gratitude.
So… now… what can we create that we haven't thought of or imagined yet? I don't know about you, but I have been discovering feelings that I have never felt before… feelings in the range just beyond where my body feels comfortable, although this is changing too… like the body is accommodating the new feelings. These feelings are incredibly powerful and have almost an infinite capacity to raise (I suspect). How is it manifesting with you? I sometimes feel like my head would come off… which might be a welcome treat. I like that my mind, too, is becoming a tool rather than how I live my life. I think it is made to push energy in desired directions. Any thoughts on this? I sometimes use it almost like a stirring stick to move feelings around in me to taste the flavor of the feelings themselves.
I had a similar experience as you with my weight. It took a simple change of mind, then a firming up of what I desired and not looking at anything else. It doesn't seem to matter what area of my life I choose to focus on… really focus on… it seems to change within a few weeks… maybe a month on the outside. Every day, I almost can't wait to get started on the "new" thing or idea or creation that comes to mind. I almost can't wait, because usually there is this quiet sense of joy that is pervading my awakening in the morning that is fun to revel in.
Damn… all the words seem trite, but the experience of it is phenomenal, like riding the greatest wave in the world. When you look at what you're creating, what are your biggest ideas for the way we could live?
Love,
Matt
Hi Matt,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Your developments all feel very exciting, it feels great to share the experience.
Biggest issue for me right now is that the rapid personal development outpaced my social development. I changed so radically within that the way I used to socialize does not feel authentic anymore. So I’m starting to experiment to see if I can find a new way. The biggest challenge is integrating the values into the socializing. It no longer feels authentic, for example, to just “go along” with monogamy, special relationships of various kinds, sympathy and much else of what passes as “normal” in our society …
Yet how to express the values and help other people to share the new values without coming across as rigid, off-putting, insane (lol), condescending, or pushy … ah, that is the question.
Hope to see more of you here soon.
cheers,
Erika
It is an interesting thing to be somewhere and have the social values completely at odds with the new understanding. I can no longer believe in monogamy, for instance, like yourself. That was an understanding that took me a while to accept. I used to be a rather rabid monogamist… but I cannot, like you, see any value in it and a whole lot of pain resulting from it. People don’t see it because jealousy is actually a feeling that is at the very root of the way we have structured society.
The fascinating journey, though, is walking through the changing landscape with our brothers that have understanding as well. There is nothing like being able to point out inconsistencies that arise in our thinking. For instance, yesterday, I felt like being simply “down” for the day and playing video games and generally being unproductive. I don’t know why I get urges like that, but it is what it is. At about 6 o’clock last night, I got up from playing and realized that it was dark outside. Immediately, there was an old habitual thought pattern that started of, “Why did I waste the day?!”… Being aware deeply of how I am feeling these days, this statement of old thought stood out like a, to borrow from Jed McKenna, “… a fart in a bathosphere.” LOL… the thought was so incongruent with my state of being, that it was impossible to ignore. What the f**k? Who cares if I spend a day doing nothing? The old programming… that’s who. It was easy to simply laugh, see the bizarre pattern of how “productivity” has been held as a false idol in our society, and simply let it go. That belief, though, has shaped my pattern for years… doing something that I really, truly felt was good to do, then beating myself up for somehow not being the person I set myself up to be. The damaging thought far outweighed any type of damage that could possibly come from the action itself… matter of fact, the action, I am learning, is almost assuredly what I needed for that moment. It was my judgment of it that injured. Just one more example of insanity posing as sanity. A thought so inured that it seems like truth. :)
Socially, I am finding an arising gentleness I have never felt before. It isn’t the gentleness of how I used to think of it. It is a rigid stance of truth… never leaving truth yet being aware of what they are feeling. Usually, Spirit will say the right thing at the right time, or I will just be silent. The old trying to teach or even engage at that level that I used to do is fading a lot… thankfully, I have resigned as other people’s spiritual sheriff… lol. Most things fix themselves of their own accord… although, it is very awkward in conversation sometimes. I don’t know… keep us apprised of your developments here, because I would like to hear what you figure out in your interactions as well.
Isn’t it cool to begin each day or particular challenge as an experiment? I think that is the coolest thing… you mentioned social interaction as an experiment, but I am beginning to see this in all areas of my life… such as, “How does a feeling of ____ display in my physical symbology?” and seeing the resulting manifestation. Or, “What if I forgot everything I think I know about this situation and allowed it to be something different?” It is a blast watching what occurs.
“People don’t see it because jealousy is actually a feeling that is at the very root of the way we have structured society.”
Exactly Matt. Did you see the recent article about Oedipal Complex – it’s at the core of this whole mess. Would love to hear your thoughts:
https://erikaawakening.com/the-key-to-world-peace
Hi Erika,
I read your article, and you’re right that special relationship is exclusion… exclusion at all levels. It is possible that this is where our deep seated longing and jealousy come from; matter of fact, I would say it would have to be a major contributor at the very least. The depth of separation that is built into the very fabric of society starts extremely early, and the more that sex (the only external symbol of joining that exists in our immediate, unconscious awareness for both body and heart/mind) is misunderstood, the greater the gap of lack.
The longing to join is the longing for our Identity, and the longing drives us to all kinds of relief seeking… some “productive” and acceptable to society and some not. You touched briefly on this when you talked about the desire for approval and achievement. While I don’t think that the Oedipal complex is the only driver, I do feel it is a big part of it. “I can’t have what I want… and when I do achieve what I want it doesn’t satisfy.”
The only cure then is union. We are actually jealous of our deeply held, personal “specialness,” our search and desire to “have more than anything,” like the Course states. I can almost feel that the depth of the separation felt would be seen in a child desiring their parent’s full attention and having the parent consistently looking to assert their independence and create boundaries in order to do this. The child then grasps for “survival” from the parents because separation is not SAFE! It is a negative feedback loop.
The murderous intent is actually to control fully another “one” that made us feel so special… remove their autonomy and the person is essentially dead. Is it any wonder that people feel so stifled and smothered in our way of practicing marriage and exclusive relationships? Not really… I look at most polyamory as being the same way. The ego just gets bigger… 2 then 3 then 5 egos all put in together… and everyone else is still outside and not part of the exclusive club.
There is a really good book you would like. It is the “The Dialogues of a Course of Love,” by Mari Perron. If you ever get a chance to read it, let me know how you like it. It deals a lot with relationship and was really transforming in my journey.
Matt
Hi Matt,
Yea I do realize that many of the same fears can be imported into poly. The key is letting go of “specialness.” When we judge one brother or sister as more “attractive” or “worthy” than another, we separate ourselves from the strength and power of Oneness. I don’t know what it feels like to go into a potentially sexual situation with the intention I’m going to connect with everyone equally, yet for this erotic party later this month that is the intention I want to hold. I am done with specialness, it’s too great a burden to bear.
Oedipal Complex is really just the symbol of specialness/exclusion. It plays out everywhere in our society, and the answer is loving everyone exactly the same.
I feel happy you are connecting with me here. Thank you :)
– Erika
The blog “replies” ran out of room below… so, I’ll just say it here above. I am happy that we are both seeing some of these things and can connect here… How happy is not having to put up with anything that is seemingly intractable or scientifically impossible?! I love it.
You’ll have to let us know how the erotic party goes. I’ll be curious to hear of your internal experience of it, especially if you have a very well-defined and set intention of what you desire from it. I would be curious to see how the intention matches with the results in what occurs.
I am taking a slightly different tack in my relationships that I currently have. I opened my relationship up a while back as an intent along the same bent as you, and I desire to experience it more along an intended path of “only that which brings me joy.” With the focus there, I have been experiencing different kinds of connections that do indeed feel much more open energetically, not bogged down with a lot of mental drama.
It is early yet in this intention for me, and we’ll see how it plays out.
Matt
I feel happy hearing that you opened your relationship Matt. I am excited for the day when all relationships are open, and when we are all living up to the idea that “All of your relationships are total commitments and do not conflict with each other in any way.”
Love this post! Thank you!
A big thank you Usama! :)
Dear Ms. Erika. Good morning. I got your mail and it said I must read it. Yes. I must read it. I respect your personality, thoughts and approach. My subscription to your mail is a testimony that I am to relate and understand your conclusions about life and review what best i can do to implement them in my life on this part of the Earth. Your value additions are tremendous and you are person of your development and making. Its is An Entrepreneurship. I read your this article on Lies..you are right. These are all lies.Human beings are caught between Truth and Lies. I am of the whether you are caught with Truth or Lie; each human being has to evaluate whether he or she is progressing as per His or Her Vision. If progressing; yes that speaks Truth and Entrepreneurship. I am also transforming myself. And My journey fills joys and dissatisfactions both. Dis-satisfactions with my past assumptions: That I should not do this but I end up doing it. So commences the journey Regret. I again edit and again I deviate. Straight path is impossible. And deleting all past assumptions is not an easy solution. And in this process each human being loses the total time available to Him or Her which is nothing but LIFE. Life quantum gets reduced whether you do RIGHT OR WRONG. Both are losing it. So a Human being is caught how to preserve this life Content Time. I have no shame in telling you that I also end up wasting time. Wasting Time means not moving as per Vision and Goal. I live in India and here one has typical constraints. The same must be true for the people in other countries. To sustain the Current Quality Standards of Life, flow of justified money is a must by right procedures and resources. I have done this all the time so far. I have earned money with 100%right thoughts and actions. I dont remember that ever I earned One Dollar by wrong means or doing less for my clients/organization. Respected Madam I respect and love your all contributions and I am assuring you soon I shall read all the Basics of Yours and give my views and assuring you to adopt your inputs for Ever in My Life. If the God permits; attend your training programmes or meet you in person. If you are in India do let me know. Regards.
Thank you Dr. B.M. Sharma, welcome and very glad to have you here :)
In too many situations now a days, people are very quick to place blame and judgement without looking in the mirror first. It is always somebody else fault and never their own. I know this rings true for me, sometimes I get on a high mighty soapbox. Science part is definitely true. The ego is born of fear and the illusion of separateness. It does everything it can to control the fear that maintains it. Our society is currently one of conformity. It sadly teaches people to ignore their own internal guidance in favor of authority and what other people think is best. Great reminders. Thank you
Thanks Kim. I’m super excited to see how you take all this and bridge over to the traditional medical communities. I have a good feeling about the direction you are headed :)
Thank you so much for this, Erika. Reading it last night inspired a MAJOR paradigm shift for me. Rock on.
Thanks so much Miss e. It felt amazing to write this post and I appreciate you stopping by to read it :)
Yup agree, certainly a reminder to keep questioning everything our beliefs. Points 6,7,8 and 9 are where you are way way different to any other coaching I've tried – wouldn't have even considered these before I experienced your work.
Thanks Ben – yea we are definitely a little “out there” and this article is a bit ahead of its time … but its time will come. I am certain of that :)
Yes, so true and I loved the bit about science (as you knew I would!!).
Yes Ann, thanks for stopping by :)
Well. Courageous article. You are on a big journey Erika. Isn't uncovering our limiting beliefs and discovering our freedom one of the greatest joys? :)
Thanks Jakub, yes I agree with you there. To realize we are not bound by any of this world’s laws, including the supposed “laws” of the “god” of science – is true liberation. Thanks for commenting :)
This is an awesome and thought provoking article. Over the years I have heard of ACIM but have never looked into it. “Not enough time” is definitely one of my big lies that sure seems like reality! Thank you for another opportunity to broaden my horizens. :-)
Thanks for commenting, Anita. When I first started tapping, one of the first things the Universe did was reorganize my day job to be easier. This way my evenings, weekends, and a lot of energy were freed up for learning and later for starting and developing my business. Then when I quit my day job, the Universe kept working with me to open more and more time. People say they “don’t have enough time” to tap every day and this is one of the biggest lies. If only they would make EFT tapping their top priority, they would find time opening up all over the place.