Using EFT to Improve Your Game By Erika Awakening
So I received another reader question, which again is a great question, this time about using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT Tapping) to improve your game.
We really got that Using EFT to Improve Your Game thread going over there at RSD Nation (you can see it here: Using EFT to Improve Your Game on RSDNation), and lots of questions are coming up. I am so thrilled to see so many guys trying it out and getting results. So I’ll be blogging more about EFT tapping Emotional Freedom Technique in the weeks ahead.
What is EFT Anyway? Emotional Freedom Technique EFT Tapping
Well, no description of EFT tapping can really do it justice. It is a form of acupressure-based healing created by Gary Craig, who is a Stanford engineer and a man of science. You can read about it more on his website: www.emofree.com.
People are walking belief systems. Beliefs are like mini-computer programs that are running constantly. The vast vast majority of those limiting beliefs are unconscious. But they are running. Just like when you work on your computer, you are focused on one program at a time. This is the equivalent of conscious awareness. Meanwhile, all sorts of code is running in the background to keep the whole thing going. The background programs are the equivalent of the unconscious mind.
You get your power back by harnessing the power of your subconscious mind.
For most people, they are just the user of the computer. Someone else wrote all the computer code. Every insult hurled at them as a child is written on their walls:
“You’re not a good singer.”
“You’re not a good athlete.”
“You can’t make a lot of money.”
Every time they were “nice” instead of speaking their truth, some negative emotion got trapped deep in their unconscious mind. Those negative emotions create something akin to a computer virus that continues to screw up everything they try to do now.
So How Are We Using EFT to Improve Your Game?
EFT Tapping is like this: A person has been walking around being governed by his unconscious computer programming his entire life, seemingly at the mercy of the world around him … and then someone suddenly hands him the Administrator password and the instructions for rewriting the code. He now has the power to erase all that negative writing on his walls.
So many of us thought so many things in life were inevitable, and now suddenly we learn that they are choices. We just didn’t have access to the computer code before.
Now we do.
(I hope the implications of this for pickup are obvious.)
The Question from My Blog Reader (we’ll call him John)
“One thing I always say to women on [RSD Nation] is that they are for the most part loved by all here, and to ignore the less enlightened folk who will try to chase them away.
“From your posts on the EFT board, telling you that is obviously unnecessary in this case :-).
“My friend turned me onto the EFT thread, and I was struck by your contribution. You have a knowledgeable, calming, caring, yet strong tone that no doubt wins you a lot of influence wherever else you post.”
[Awww… shucks. Once again, nice work getting me all purring and eager to help. They teach you guys a thing or two over there at RSDN.]
“My question for you…
“I’ve been doing EFT for a while now, and it sometimes gets me to a deep emotion where it’s literally anguish I feel as I’m tapping. At some points I can’t even choke out the words, and at the hardest sessions, I actually get tears.
“I’m wondering if I should be pushing myself that far when I’m tapping, or if it should be more of a mild discomfort when thinking of problems.
“My friend told me that the anguish means you’re actually getting the shit out, but I’m wondering if I should automatically assume that I have to be in some kind of pain to get the work.
“Also, if I’m feeling the pain while tapping, should I be really delving into it, making a face and all, or just let it sit there without physical reaction while tapping?”
My Response to John
Yes, so as you have noticed EFT can bring up some strong emotions. It’s important to recognize that EFT is not creating those emotions. Negative stuff from our childhood and early times in our life gets stored way below conscious awareness and is trapped there. EFT just gives us a chance to get that icky stuff out of our system.
There are two schools of thought on powerful emotions like what you are describing: the conventional wisdom school and the Erika school. Ultimately, anyone using EFT needs to follow their own intuition about what is right for them.
The conventional wisdom school is called the Tearless Trauma Technique (TTT). It basically involves “sneaking up” on a big emotional issue rather than confronting it head on. You can read up about this on Gary Craig’s website: http://www.emofree.com/trauma/tearless.htm.
The Erika Awakening school of EFT tapping is a little different. I emphasize that this is NOT a recommendation, and you need to check in with yourself to see if doing this is right for you. Always listen to your own intuition and guidance, and please consider working with a professional EFT practitioner if you are working on really heavy issues and need support. There are a lot of benefits of doing EFT with another person.
The Erika Awakening school of EFT tapping healing is “just let it all out.” I have spent hours with EFT crying, swearing, panicking, and generally letting extremely intense emotions have their way with me. I’ve had sessions of shouting over and over again “I hate you Mom” or “Fuck you God.” I’ll be honest with you, it feels incredibly liberating to say stuff like this out loud. No more being a “nice dead person” as Marshall Rosenberg would say.
And guess what? Those sessions were very intense, but that’s when I did some of my deepest transformative change. Letting out my anger improved my relationships with my mom and with God. And by extension improved every other relationship in my life. :-)
Another advantage of the Erika Awakening school is that you get very comfortable with big emotions and they don’t seem scary anymore. Then when you’re out in the real world and see other people get upset, it doesn’t affect you as much. You know how to get present with the feelings and help the person move through it.
Both methods work. I’ve had plenty of results from non-emotional tapping.
The question is: What feels right to you? What feels comfortable to you? Ultimately your intuition knows how to guide you.