How to Attract Women: Seven Powerful Seduction Tips for Men to Attract and Seduce the Woman You WantThere’s something about the tropics that unleashes the primal sexual part of us. And when you combine that with EFT tapping to release sexual fear, it’s a powerful combination. I’m feeling an urge to ditch my brassieres. And I’m also feeling a surprising draw to get back into writing about seduction when I return to San Francisco. It’s been a while since I wrote about how to attract women.
This entire trip has been an interesting play in contrasts. The Holy Spirit uses contrast as a teaching tool to help us get deeper insights into what is and is not working in our lives. Thus, during this trip, I got to see the contrast between what works and what does not work in seduction. It’s just a refresher course for me, as I already knew this of course. But for whatever reason, it has reignited my interest in writing about seduction.One thing is certain. Just as “logic” does not work in personal development, and we must instead “seduce” the subconscious mind so that the mind is truly transformed … so also “logic” does not work in seduction between men and women. The only tips for seducing women that are going to work require integration of your emotional and logical minds.
If you think the woman “should” be into you because of all the “nice” things you do for her, you don’t understand how the game is played. At all. And it would be best rather than finding fault in her, to take an honest assessment of what skills you need to learn and where in your life you need to become more whole in order to attract the women you really desire.
On the other hand, the biggest no-no in seduction is dishonesty. Read my cautionary note about attracting women with dishonesty here.
Here’s a refresher course in what works and does not work in seduction:
1. Seduction Tips for Men #1 – Knowing And Developing Your Life Purpose
Some people think only men need to have a “purpose” in life. I don’t buy in to this double standard and believe it is equally essential for men and women. For men though, it is non-negotiable. You must have a purpose that does not rely in any way on the woman you want to seduce. It was a big turn on that my photographer in Costa Rica is so passionate about his work and is running a successful business. At night after we messed around, he would not cling on to me, putting implicit pressure on me to entertain him. Instead, he went home to edit photographs lol! His having a purpose that did not involve me took a lot of pressure off our interactions and made everything a lot more sexy and interesting.
By purpose, I don’t mean you just have an interest or a pastime. I mean you have a driving passion that you have turned into something EXTREMELY successful. Or that it’s obvious you are on your way to doing that. Nothing is less sexy to me than a man who wants to latch on to my purpose without contributing independent value of his own. I don’t mean “theoretical” independent value either. I mean he is a thriving entrepreneur (that’s just what I go for, obviously there are men with other purposes who can attract women), making sales, has a significant audience, and is going for it in his life and his business.
2. Seduction Tips for Men #2 – Not Being Too Agreeable
Some people “get by” in life by agreeing with everything, and particularly with women will tend to agree with everything she says. This comes across as inauthentic and weak.
Yes, of course, we women want a man who shares important core values with us. But we also want some resistance in the relationship to keep things interesting. If a man is always agreeing with me, agreeing with others, but never sticks his neck out to write his own blog posts or Facebook posts or whatever expressing his OWN opinions and insights, then he comes across to me as someone who does NOT have a clear life purpose nor sufficient inner strength and courage to be with me. He also comes across as not being assertive enough to be a satisfying life partner.
A man who is willing to disagree with me, not to be a pain in the tush, but because he authentically disagrees – is sexy. However, if he disagrees with me when I say I am not attracted to him, then that is not sexy. That just demonstrates that he’s not willing to take responsibility for being the most attractive man he can possibly be. And it is a deal breaker.
No guide to seduction tips for men would be complete without mentioning the problem of being too “nice.” Much has also been written about the “nice” guy. Women don’t like nice guys because “nice” is a cover-up for anger and unresolved emotional issues that a man is not facing. We don’t trust “nice” because “nice” is not nice. It is manipulative and weak and duplicitous, but it’s not nice. Don’t expect women to get excited about you sexually by being “nice.”
We don’t want a man who is a jerk. We do want a man who is supporting us and loving us. But not when that is ALL he is doing, because then it feels suffocating. She may be extremely grateful for all your help if you insist on being the “nice” guy. She is not going to have sex with you. And if she does have sex with you, she is probably not in integrity doing it and may just be waiting for something better to come along. Sorry to be so blunt. Sometimes bluntness is what is needed to get through all the ego defenses and excuses that blind us from the truth (see more tough love here).
3. Seduction Tips for Men #3 – Doing the Best You Can With Your Physical Assets
Oh, it’s true we do not want to be loved for our looks. We all want to be with someone who can look beyond the superficial and see the deeper value we are bringing to the table. However, there simply is no excuse for not doing the best you can with what you have, physically.
If you are a man who wants to date a woman who clearly invests a lot of time and energy in looking and smelling her best, and you refuse to attend to these issues in yourself, please do not expect her to be impressed.
My photographer is not a particularly tall guy, and usually I am only attracted to men who are at least six feet and preferably taller. Yet he does the best with what he has, and this is very attractive. The lack of height is largely made up for with the fact that he’s muscular and fit and clearly gets a lot of physical activity. He also attends to his fashion (of course that differs when you think you’re going to be hanging out in a wet pool bar or wading through creeks lol), and he brushes his teeth after every meal to make sure his breath always smells awesome. This is a guy who knows how to play the game.
Attending to being as fit as possible, wearing sexy clothes, and having fresh breath – all of these signal to a woman that you get it. Wearing tennis shoes for anything other than an athletic endeavor, refusing to learn about fashion, and not attending to kissing hygiene is going to turn the woman off.
A woman, especially a woman with a lot of options, is listening all the time to your sub-communication to see if you are a man who “gets it.” My photographer demonstrated that he gets it when we talked about his dating of other women here in Costa Rica. In spite of the fact that he is an American living in a foreign country, he pretty much never lacks for female company. And his descriptions of his relationships with women here show me that he understands how the game is played. He also demonstrates this understanding with lots of subtle physical and verbal cues as he managed to “plant seeds” for seducing me, even in his emails before my arrival here.
Sub-communication is so subtle that most men do not get it at all. Seriously. It requires an ability to “tune in” on an emotional wavelength that most men are oblivious to its existence. If you think you “get” what I’m saying here, yet you are not getting the results you want, then you don’t get it.
5. Seduction Tips for Men #5 – Humility and Willingness to Improve
Probably nothing is a bigger turn off to me than a man who thinks he “gets it” who does not get it. Men who succeed with seduction are always learning, improving, calibrating. They don’t think of themselves as finished products. They don’t think of themselves as “above” learning the art of seduction. There is a humility and an openness to the feedback of everyday encounters that characterizes a true master.
Covering up major gaps in your game with “spiritual bullshit,” as I call it, is not going to get the job done. A lot of spiritual people ignore the physical world and the need to ground their spirituality into real world results. You can do this for years if you want, but you can look at the results to see it’s not working. This is what we call denial.
6. Seduction Tips for Men #6 – Being Grounded In the Physical World
Women are not all alike. There are some women who will go for a really spiritual or intellectual guy who is not fully grounded in the physical world. I’m not one of them.
Why are women so attracted to men who participate in extreme sports or really any sports in a serious way? It’s for a lot of reasons. One, it makes the man’s body more fit, see above. Two, there is something about participating in extreme sports that ignites sexuality in a very raw and primal way. As a woman, also, participating like this brings me alive and awakens my sexuality. I recommend it for both genders. Three, men who participate in these kind of endeavors develop an innate confidence that carries over to sex and romance. And lots of other reasons too lengthy to list here.
When my photographer and I had our outdoor photo shoot, crawling over rocks and tree stumps and standing in a cold waterfall in skimpy clothing. When he took me surfing and we felt the primal power of the ocean, while he was touching the small of my back and giving me instructions – THAT is sexy. It’s why we in the seduction community suggest that men take women on exciting first dates when possible. Men who ignore this physical grounding may be able to seduce some women, but probably not the ones they really desire.7. Seduction Tips for Men #7 – Understanding the Difference Between Theory and Practical Results
As someone who has been in internet entrepreneurship for quite a while, I can tell you there is a huge difference between a “good idea” and a successful business. So you were successful in business ten years ago in an unrelated industry? Sorry, that doesn’t cut it. To pretend that long-ago result is the same as having gone out every day for the past five years and made it happen is just … insulting … honestly.
I get countless emails from people who want to “partner” with me in business, yet have not even made one affiliate sale yet. I don’t even answer those emails anymore, for the most part. If you want to partner with me, SHOW ME RESULTS. Otherwise, go out and develop your own business until you have results, and then we can talk. Knowing you can do it “someday” and having already done it are two totally different things. And when you demonstrate that you do not understand the difference, it’s a turn off. It shows you do not have a clue about what women value in a man, and you really do not understand her personally either.
Women are attracted to men who are grounded in physical reality. It’s great to have high ideals so long as you are actually making it happen in the physical world. Especially if you want to seduce a very successful woman, you’re going to need to demonstrate tangible physical results in your own life. See #1 above. Develop your own purpose first, before you even try to go after high value women. Unless you enjoy being rejected over and over again.
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Okay, enough said for now. I have a feeling when I get back to San Francisco, I may start writing about seduction again. Maybe I’ll pretend I’m a tourist in my own town and start approaching life that way … we shall see.
Letting go of FEAR and ANGER at the subconscious level are essential to your success with women. Check out my emotional-releasing products at http://erikaawakening.com/fearless and http://tapsmarter.com/self-sabotage to learn more.
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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