Here’s an issue that has come up this week for several of my coaching clients, and the results have been so powerful that I feel compelled to share with you … but first a question: Who are YOU avoiding in your life? Are you avoiding your ex? Are you avoiding an old friend you had an argument with? Have you cut ties with someone in your family?
Do you *really* believe avoidance is solving your problem?
If you answered yes, think again … I can assure you … all you are doing by avoiding someone is ensuring that you yourself will never have full healing and peace, and you will never have everything you want in life. In fact, I guarantee it.
In December, I went to see Roger Waters in concert, performing The Wall. It was a truly amazing show, and the T-shirts that the little kids were wearing during the song “Another Brick in the Wall” summed it up in three words:
Fear Builds Walls.
If you are avoiding someone (building walls), you are TERRIFIED. And lest you deceive yourself, let’s make this very clear: your avoidance is not about them. The person you are scared of is YOURSELF. Anything you don’t like in somebody else is nothing more than a projection … of what you hate about yourself.
Yep. That’s the truth. There’s no point arguing with me about this, because it won’t change the reality. If you were truly a fearless person, living your life fully in your strength, always communicating with power and authenticity, living in perfect love, you would not have any reason to avoid ANYONE.
So if you are avoiding someone … if you are avoiding anyone … you have a LONG way to go to reach full empowerment.
Or … you can save yourself years of misery and take the short path … pick up the phone and call the person you’ve been avoiding. Send him or her an email to reconnect. Otherwise, prepare to keep suffering, cuz that’s what will happen if you insist on continuing your avoidance strategies.
This is tough love, folks. It’s time for you to reconnect with exactly the people who most want to avoid. Don’t do it because I said so. Do it because it is the most powerful thing you’ll ever do FOR YOURSELF. Your whole life is going to take a quantum leap in the direction of fulfilling your fondest dreams when you stop avoiding anyone.
To make this principle more vivid and real, here are some examples from my coaching clients this week.
I’m working with a man in my 15-week Miracle Coaching Program who had mentioned several times that he was upset and frustrated because he kept emailing his ex, and she was not responding to his emails. Yet in the same call, he mentioned that he was not responding to another woman’s communications with him. Why? Because he was judging the woman he was avoiding as “weak.” She “made him uncomfortable.”
Well, I explained a very simple, yet very powerful, concept. Life is a mirror. So when he judges and avoids the woman who “makes him uncomfortable,” he invites other people (like his ex) to do the same thing to him. And he keeps himself unhealed. Because whatever it is he doesn’t like in the woman he is avoiding is something that he hates about himself. If he avoids her, he deprives himself of an opportunity to get clarity and healing for whatever aspect of himself he is not yet accepting. I told him that if he wanted his ex to start communicating, he must start communicating with the woman he was avoiding.
Sure enough, he sent me an email today saying that, almost immediately after he started communicating again with the woman he had been avoiding, his ex stopped avoiding him and responded to his email.
This is karma, folks. And unless you understand how it works, it will bite you in the ass. You won’t understand why your problems are not getting solved because you are not looking where you need to look. In fact, you are AVOIDING exactly the place you need to be exploring.
See what I mean?
Here’s another example, so you can see that this works exactly the same way for men and women. Last night I had a fourth session with a woman who is about to begin my 15-week Miracle Coaching Program next week.
She really wants to improve her love life, and she mentioned that she had been avoiding her ex. I explained to her that, unless she gets things fully healed with her ex, she will continue to carry the unhealed wounds and baggage into any new relationships she starts. So it’s very important to get what some healers call “completion” with her ex, which really means forgiveness. We did a bunch of What Is Holistic Belief Reprogramming? to release old hurt and anger in her relationships with men, including her ex.
Well, lo and behold, not even 24 hours have passed yet since our session, and I received this email from her this morning (she gave me her permission to share it with all of you, to inspire you to heal your relationships):
just got off the phone w/ my X………
opened up a space to share authentically…..
cried and let go of old anger, resentment, bitterness
AND was able to share that w/ him right on the phone……amazing!!!!!
i could feel that old energy leave my cells and auric field!!!!!
this stuff is soooooooooooo powerful!!!
thank u and a huge whoooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo
Do you see how fast this healing process can happen when you stop avoiding people and face things instead?
The most important thing to realize, and why I repeat it over and over again, is that there is only one person in this world you can hate and avoid: YOURSELF. Do you really want to continue hating and avoiding yourself?
Or would you like to see and experience the miracles that will happen when you start embracing everyone, thereby embracing and healing all parts of yourself?
With much love and appreciation for all of you,
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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