You need not leave your room: the Man on my Doorstep

I have been known to be psychic, many times actually, some of them very striking. The first time was with my kitten’s death, which was so traumatic that I cut myself off from those abilities. It took me a long time to have a good relationship again with my psychic visions.

Anyway, I’ve been having a recurring one lately. It involves a man showing up on my doorstep, humble and sweet, duffel bag in hand, ready to start a new life with me. I don’t know who the man is, but the image keeps recurring.

Franz Kafka said this:

“You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait, just learn to become quiet, still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”

I never really felt the full meaning of that quotation until I started this blog. Now, with the combination of blogging and Facebook, I get it.

Once upon a time, I thought that the world needed to be conquered. I thought we were supposed to go out and “do” things, “make things happen.”

How did this translate in my love life? I thought that, to meet a guy, I had to go out on a bunch of dates with guys I wasn’t into, hoping that eventually I’d accidentally happen upon The One. I thought I had to sign up on Match and eHarmony. I didn’t have a path or a purpose. I was clueless. I thought love was something that had to be sought out and built and planned.

Now I see that the world doesn’t want to be conquered. It only wants to be loved. This has changed everything, but especially my dating life.

ACIM says:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Fast forward a few years. How have things changed? I don’t “try” to meet men anymore. I don’t do any online or formal dating. When I go out with friends, I don’t focus on meeting guys.

When I’m not doing my normal activities, I sit here in my apartment and write about my passions … alternating with a lot of Emotional Freedom Technique to continue clearing limiting beliefs … I feel a lot … I don’t really “do” that much anymore.

And what happens? Magically people show up in my life. Men who share my passions find me through my blog and build relationships with me. I get invited to events and bootcamps and conferences. At each of those events, I end up meeting dozens of men. Meanwhile, without my even noticing it, until it becomes super obvious, men here that I’ve known for a long time move closer to me and start talking about marrying me.

And my perspectives get clearer and stronger. More congruent. I’ve been “gamed” by dozens of men, which has — ironically — made me even more certain that casual sex is not for me. I have realized that, for me, sex really is a spiritual union. It is a merging of chakras. It’s not something I’m interested in playing around with.

As Linmayu said over on Rori’s blog,

“I don’t have a golden pussy to barter for commitment, because it’s not for barter. It’s not for barter because my heart, soul, and spirit are inextricably linked to it, and they cannot be traded for anything.”

If a man wants to have me, he can show up at my doorstep with a ring and a permanent commitment. When he does that, I will know that every doubt has cleared, and that he is fully congruent with his intentions.

Which leads me back to this recurring vision, of the mysterious man on my doorstep with his duffel bag and a ring.

“You do not need to seek for love.”

I need not leave my room.


About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Anonymous 7:40 pm,

    You have a belief that it's somehow not "spiritual" to have financial abundance?

  2. Anonymous says:

    My comment was prickish, sorry about that. Your 40k figure did blow me away though. I'm skeptical of those offering pure, holy, spiritual enlightenment and will teach about all that is good and right in the world… all because they have a desire to spread happiness… for a hefty price.

  3. Probably $600 or $700 for a silent meditation retreat and other work with acclaimed satsang healer Jon Bernie.

  4. oh and another $2500 on Holosync meditation, all 12 levels. I'm on the 12th level now.

  5. Not true, sweetheart. I haven't paid to attend any of these conferences. I was invited as a personal guest to all of them. And I'm a speaker at the 21 convention.

    The 40K is an estimate of what I spent from 2006, when I almost died, through 2008, before starting this blog. And while I did purchase many e-books and audio/video products from, for example, Christian Carter and

  6. Anonymous says:

    "I get invited to events and bootcamps and conferences."

    And you pay a lot of money to attend, 40k in the past year according to you. I'm sure they're thrilled to seek your company.

  7. "You do not need to seek for love."

    This can be misunderstood. I think one won't find love in some forgotten place, but one needs to practice love daily to have love in one's life. And if you practice enough, at some point quantity will transform into quality.

  8. Weird, isn't it? I need do nothing. There is nothing to find, to seek, to know. Only unknowing takes a person there. Odd to find that life is a process of negation rather than reaction.

    I too have searched and searched, done and done, moved and moved… and it is the most interesting thing to find that I instead should be moved. Life lived as though I am a process of

  9. Doug Lance says:

    pakcing my duffelbag now, so u better make something delicious for when i get there

  10. SMoKeLioN,

    I don't know.

    I've never been a monkey or a dog (at least not that I remember), so I can't speak for them.

  11. TantraGal says:

    So very Tue. I have had the a similar experience.
    Love every moment.
    Be love.

    Crystal Dawn Morris

  12. SMoKeLioN says:

    "I have realized that, for me, sex really is a spiritual union. It is a merging of chakras. It's not something I'm interested in playing around with."

    What makes sex this way to you?

    Does the sex that monkeys or dogs have with one another have these same qualities?

    (going somewhere with this, not kidding)

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