Why Most Dating Advice Does Not Work, Part 3 … Seducing the Subconscious Mind is the Key to Getting What You Want

People are curious about my approach to coaching because it’s so different from everything else that is being offered.

Most bootcamps and seminars are focusing primarily on Outer Game: telling people what to say and what to do to get different results. Some of these programs are wonderful and very worthwhile. There is something very effective about embodied experiences like bootcamps where a guy is essentially “borrowing” the confidence of the instructor for a night or a weekend.

But I predict that you will make faster progress with my method. Much faster progress. In fact, I specialize in the “impossible” cases. The guys (or gals) who have tried everything, and nothing worked.

Most bootcamps and seminars proceed from the premise of “adding information.” They work fantastically for some people, especially the ones who only needed a little jolt of confidence.

But for those who already have layers and layers of mental “static,” adding another layer of learning and complexity is only going to make things worse. It’ll just be another stick they can use to beat themselves up with.

My approach proceeds from the premise that you already know everything. Your subconscious mind is hooked up to the Infinite Intelligence and — quite literally — has access to all knowledge all the time. This is why intuition is so powerful. When it’s operating properly, it is far more powerful and efficient than the fastest supercomputer ever created. And it has “emotional intelligence.”

So if you already know everything, why would I need to teach you anything?
I don’t. What I do is help you remove the layers of clutter that are stopping you from realizing that you already know everything.

Does anyone really believe that every man wasn’t born with the innate ability to seduce a woman, have an amazing relationship, and live a life of abundance? Oh yes, he was born with it. If it’s not manifest now, it’s still there. It may be buried under so many layers of garbage as to be unrecognizable, but it’s still there.

I help you find it.

I do this by opening up space.

I do this by helping you begin to question and then to dissolve all the limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs FEEL true, and as long as they FEEL true, they will stop you from getting what you want. But they’re not true. And in truth you are so powerful that, even if those limiting beliefs looked like massive stone walls, you can walk right through them as if they were nothing.

Because they are nothing.

The key to dissolving limiting beliefs is enlisting the help of our all-powerful subconscious mind. Yet most people do not have a good relationship with it at all. They’ve been running away from the Shadow Self for so long that it’s terrifying to turn around and lift the lid on all the suppressed darkness.

And that is what we must do. We are actually seducing the subconscious mind. And, just as with seducing a woman, the worst thing we can do is push against its resistance. The subconscious mind wants to be heard. It wants to be understood. It wants to be known.

Then it will be on our side. It will help us.

We need to explore all the GOOD reasons why your subconscious mind is sabotaging your efforts to date the women (or men) you want to date. I assure you, it has very good reasons. It is trying (misguidedly, perhaps) to protect you. Bashing it over the head for doing that is only going to make things worse.

This is why I don’t do what I see some other coaches doing, for example, some do “takeaways” with the subconscious mind. “I’m not even going to talk to you when you’re being like this.” Really? What kind of unconditional love is that? How is the subconscious mind going to trust me if I do that?

What if I listen instead? Listen without judging.

Think of my approach to coaching as Matrix 3 (the Matrix trilogy, by the way, is essentially plotted along the lines of the prophecy of salvation in A Course in Miracles). Remember how they are fighting, fighting, fighting, and the more they fight, the more machines come to attack them? Remember how Neo is fighting Agent Smith, and Smith keeps replicating?

Fighting the Shadow Self is very similar. If we beat it up, it becomes stronger. It hates us. It gets angry. It will sabotage us at every turn.

And then Neo finally gets it. He finally understands that the key is to stop fighting and become One with Agent Smith.

That’s what we’re doing with EFT coaching. We are merging with the “Dark Side” by hearing it out in a non-judging way. Thus the constant repetition in EFT of “Even though I have this problem, I love and accept myself completely.”

And then, just like in Matrix 3, our life gradually transforms into a Paradise. It starts with a small clearing in the wasteland. Then, if we keep at it, the clearing turns into a luscious meadow. We find ourselves inviting other people in, to play with us in our new meadow. We teach them EFT, their meadow starts to grow and merges with ours.

It’s a magical process. Erika Awakening Coaching Page.

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About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Miss Mercedes says:

    Erika: Thanks for the clarification. You scared me a bit. LOL. No, I agree, helping someone work through something, staying and listening (REALLY listening) is a good thing. I jumped to the conclusion that you were referring to someone beating *you* up with their words…not beating *themselves* up.

    When it's me they're attacking though…I'm outta there…and pretty

  2. Hi Mercedes,

    I love your photo.

    I don't think you and I disagree about this. I was talking about a different type of scenario. These decisions can only really be made moment to moment, but I agree with you that there are times of disrespect when intuition says to walk away. For me, this was not one of those circumstances. The person was beating himself up, and my

  3. Miss Mercedes says:

    Erika: I like most of this but the part where you say:

    "This is why I don't do what I see some other coaches doing, for example, some do "takeaways" with the subconscious mind. "I'm not even going to talk to you when you're being like this." Really? What kind of unconditional love is that? How is the subconscious mind going to trust me if I do that

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