We want men to be men – report on Hristiyan’s workshop, part 1

I’m back home from Hristiyan’s workshop and about to drift off to a lovely sleep, but I wanted to give you a preview of the next several blog posts, which will be reporting on the workshop.

The workshop was PHENOMENAL. Seriously, I have attended many of these events, and I have never seen a group of guys transform so quickly toward authenticity, powerful masculine presence, and taking full responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Why was it so effective? Well, for a few reasons. First, Hristiyan is a powerful teacher. He is extremely present, and he keeps everyone else present. He really challenges the guys to get beyond their old patterns and doesn’t let them get away with any shirking of responsibility.

Second, the workshop was not held in a dingy hotel meeting room, with fluorescent lights and rows and rows of chairs. It was held in a porn star’s loft with beautiful natural light and all of us sitting around the room on couches. It felt very intimate.

Third, the workshop did not involve any lectures. The problem with a lecture format is that people tend to zone out. Also, guys get bombarded with tons of information, some useful, some not so useful, but they don’t really have an opportunity to integrate that information into their lives. This workshop is the first one I’ve seen that consisted of back-to-back exercises.

Fourth, Hristiyan invited me and one other woman to the workshop. Not only that, he gave us far more than a passive role. Many of the back-to-back exercises involved the guys interacting with us in very real ways and receiving in-the-moment feedback from us and from everyone else in the room. (I have been shocked at how few events in the community include actual real live women as part of the program; one would think that practicing on real live women would be an obvious prerequisite to teaching guys to have better connections with women ;-).

Anyway, I am really, really impressed. The guys had MAJOR, MAJOR breakthroughs toward getting in touch with their core masculinity. Here are some topics from the workshop that I plan to write about this week. I’m just a little too tuckered out right now …

I. We want men to be men (why women gravitate toward a man who leads, who is trustworthy, whose yes means yes and no means no, and who takes care of plans like restaurant reservations, parking, etc., so that she can surrender into her femininity and into the relationship).

II. The importance of being able to hold space for a woman’s sadness, anger, and other negative feelings without becoming defensive or pushing her away.

III. The inauthentic social “masks” that the seduction community encourages guys to adopt, and why Hristiyan insisted that the students drop all of their masks so they can truly connect with women.

IV. How I cured one guy’s paralyzing life-long approach anxiety by using Emotional Freedom Technique with him in field. By the end of the night, he was calm and present and spontaneously started talking to women at the bar, which he had never done before in his life.

V. The remarkable shifts that the guys in the workshop experienced in a 36-hour time period. One guy went from being entirely blocked (not only did I feel no connection with him, it seemed like there was a wall between us) to being able to communicate focused sexual intention non-verbally (ala Hypnotica).

Btw, I’ve been receiving some very sweet e-mails lately about the blog from some people for whom I have a lot of respect. So … thank you! And please remember to support this blog by becoming a follower and/or subscriber (buttons in the right-hand side bar).

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Benedict Smith says:

    “so that she can surrender into her femininity and into the relationship” – this is what so many men/guys fail to realize b/c they see movies with awkward, bumbling dorks that get the girl…..and it’s simply not the way it works 95% of the time. great articulation of reality in this post.

  2. Hristiyan is awesome. A true gentle giant of a man and I’m glad you not only got to experience his stuff, Erika – but you got to help transform a bunch of men in the process!

  3. GoneSavage says:

    >>>By the end of the night, he was calm and present and spontaneously started talking to women at the bar, which he had never done before in his life.

    That sounds amazing. This is really a powerful testament to the impact you can make as a healer. Nice.

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