Sorting out my mixed feelings about traditional marriage

This is something I’m playing with right now, sorting out my very mixed feelings about traditional marriage.

Here’s the thing: I really do want a permanent primary relationship because I’m excited about the co-creational aspects of it.

And yet, when I think about the idea of a traditional marriage, I feel claustrophobic. Seriously, if I envision myself living in a house with a man with a couple of kids and that being our main focus, I can already feel myself one foot in the grave with cobwebs starting to grow over me. Feels like stagnation and restlessness and boredom. This is one of my greatest fears about traditional marriage.

Whereas when I think of this blog and all the adventures I’ve had since starting to write it, I feel liberated and free, like anything is possible and the world is my oyster and so forth.

So … I must not be cut out for traditional marriage. I want to feel emotionally safe with my partner, but let’s be honest, too much safety is boring.

I’m pretty sure this is why I’m so drawn to the idea of an open relationship rather than a traditional marriage. Fresh air would always be circulating :-)

So what would my ideal look like?

Mmmm, I’m still sorting this out, but it definitely involves having a large stream of passive income so that we are financially free. It may involve a lot of traveling. It may or may not involve having a home base that we always come back to. It probably involves co-creating products and websites and, in one form or another, teaching and setting other people free. It definitely involves other people, some form of polyamory. It’s definitely unconventional. It definitely evolves as we go along, based more on our connection to each other than on any rules about what the connection should look like.

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