Hey everyone,
I’m going on a brief detour here from the “Why Knowing What to Do is Not Enough” blog series … to talk about an important and related topic that came up on a women’s forum where I’ve been participating:
How to Use Emotional Triggers to Solve All Your Problems and Heal Your Life Top to Bottom
This is a very, very important piece of my coaching system, Holistic Belief Reprogramming.
First off, what do I mean by an “emotional trigger”?
Basically, I mean any stimulus in your life that “triggers” you to have a negative reaction … so, if you suddenly find yourself angry, or yelling at someone, slamming the door on someone, disconnecting from someone, gossiping about someone, or … more subtly but just as insidious … JUDGING someone else or yourself … you have been TRIGGERED.
Triggering is ANY form of negative emotional reactivity to ANY situation.
Now, what is the typical culturally conditioned response to triggers?
Mostly, it’s the sort of thing I mentioned above … many people engage in some sort of “strategy” to avoid the discomfort of the trigger, and these strategies range from judging, accusing, gossiping, disconnecting, explosive rage, emotional numbness, self-medication (alcohol, television, internet, drugs), and EVERY other form of disconnection from feelings.
Because what a trigger really does is bring up very PAINFUL feelings. And those feelings are not about what is happening in the present moment. Those feelings are unprocessed baggage from the PAST, and that baggage is interfering with the person’s ability to be FULLY PRESENT in the HERE/NOW.
Because our culture doesn’t provide a lot of ways for people to address those painful feelings, people revert to strategies for disconnection from the painful feelings instead of staying connected.
Make sense?
Now, here’s the problem with reverting to disconnection strategies such as judgment or anger …
Disconnection will NEVER solve the underlying problem, which is some sort of trigger and trauma from the PAST. Disconnection ensures that the trigger remains buried in your nervous or energetic system, which means YOU HAVE A BUTTON INSIDE YOU THAT ANYONE CAN PUSH AT ANY TIME.
And if you have a button that anyone can push at any time, and you don’t have a proven method for addressing and erasing such buttons, you are very likely going to start engaging in AVOIDANCE strategies. Meaning, things like avoiding conflict. Or avoiding certain people. Or sabotaging your relationships. Or sabotaging your successes. Or walking on eggshells around other people, hoping not to awaken the sleeping dragon. Or becoming a bitter and cynical person who always assumes the worst so that he or she will not be disappointed by “setbacks.”
All to AVOID THE FEELINGS THAT ARE BEING TRIGGERED …
Do you see where I am going with this? Avoiding the feelings by lapsing into a “strategy” DOES NOT WORK and WILL NEVER WORK to solve the core issue.
Let me give you a couple of examples to make this more clear …
First, an example from my own life. A year and a half ago, I was in a relationship where certain of my “buttons” started to get pushed. It felt so scary to me, and the feelings were so overwhelming, that I went into “shut down” mode and dumped him. Looking back, I see I wasn’t really dumping him, I was attempting … in a very ineffective way … to dump my feelings. And guess what? It didn’t work. All the feelings were still there, and I felt HORRIBLE. This, unfortunately, ended up in a situation where both he and I, triggered to the point of overwhelm, said and did a lot of things to each other that really messed up what had been — for six months before that — a very promising and enjoyable relationship.
Now, as I have spent a lot of time identifying and healing the dozens of triggers that were being activated in that situation, I realize that I was reacting TO THE PAST and not to the man I was in a relationship with … I had a CORE BELIEF that it was not safe to trust men that was built on top of a bunch of painful memories that had never been fully processed … Here are some of the painful memories that were activated by our relationship situation:
– My dad saying my kitten would be okay so we didn’t have to find him and bring him home, and finding my kitten dead on the road the next morning (huge trauma for a four-year old)
– My mother criticizing my dad constantly, and him not standing up for himself
– My dad standing by and doing nothing while his boss beat my cat (a different cat) with a leash
– My dad promising to do things and not following through, which resulted in disappointment and mistrust
– And so on …
I had so many of these traumatic experience stored in my nervous system that would get touched by a little thing my ex would say or do, that the pain coming up was overwhelming, and I dumped my ex because of it … only to regret my reactivity later …
NOT HELPFUL, RIGHT?
Okay, here’s another example, this time a client I’m working with right now:
My client has a pattern of LEAVING situations … and even if she hasn’t left yet … she always FEELS like leaving … she never feels fully happy or satisfied where she is.
Exploring into this, we have discovered that she has a bunch of very painful memories from her past that get triggered in the present, constantly, and the feelings are so painful she just wants to disconnect.
She does not yet have the communication skills to stay in the connection and communicate her feelings. In fact, she’s not even feeling her feelings, because she’s going straight into OVERWHELM and DISCONNECTION.
This leads her to end relationships and quit jobs, in a very predictable emotional cycle, over and over again, without ever solving the core issue.
NOT HELPFUL, RIGHT?
What is the answer here … what is the way out of this mess?
Well, that’s what my coaching system, Holistic Belief Reprogramming, is designed to address. I have developed methods of delving into the past, not for the sake of rehashing it, but to HEAL IT FOREVER so that the past is no longer intruding upon the present moment. I have developed methods for going inside an emotional trigger and unwinding the tightly wound emotional coil that is causing a person to live out the same old horrible, frustrating, self-sabotaging pattern OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
In its essence, instead of AVOIDING triggers, we are going inside the triggers and doing two things: first, opening them up and exploring them, bringing the underlying negative beliefs and memories to conscious awareness; and second, releasing and erasing the negative emotional energy that is causing these triggers to play out repeatedly, seemingly beyond the control of the person in whose life they are wreaking havoc.
After this process has been completed, the old destructive patterns STOP. My client feels happier and more empowered, and is able to start living his or her life FULLY without walking on eggshells anymore around other people and around his or her own triggers. Each time a person clears out a trigger through my method, they have taken some of their power back. There is one less button there for other people to push.
That’s why I no longer run away from triggers. I prefer to get curious about them and move toward them. Move inside them. Open them up. Get present with all the uncomfortable feelings, until it starts feeling COMFORTABLE to get triggered. I’m still safe. I know what to do with a trigger to erase that button so it can’t be pushed anymore. What part of my self am I still disowning (Debbie Ford Shadow self style) that this feels triggering to me? What hateful belief or self-judgment am I holding on to that has created this pain in me? Why am I still emotionally reactive to what’s going on in this situation — what does it remind me of from the ancient past?
Hooray, I have been liberated a little bit more today because someone triggered me.
Once you’ve learned my entire method, you may even start looking forward to getting triggered, instead of avoiding it. So many people walk around avoiding or reacting to their triggers! My intention is to reframe triggering. In my mind, getting triggered is a GOOD thing. It’s bringing conscious awareness to something in me that still needs healing, and now that someone has given me the GIFT of triggering me, I can identify yet another area of emotional debris and limiting beliefs.
I am now empowered to release the negative emotions and to erase the limiting beliefs that support those emotions. I am now free to take my power back in yet another area of my life where I had given my power away.
Thank you for triggering :)
If you’d like to sign up for a session with me, so we can explore your triggers and erase the out of your subconscious mind SO NOBODY CAN PUSH YOUR BUTTONS ANYMORE, please email me at Erika@ErikaAwakening.com, or sign up on my coaching page here.
To learn my entire coaching method top to bottom, so you can be empowered to address and erase your own triggers, please check out my 15-week Course in Miracles here.
Congratulations on your development of a potentially valuable therapeutic, as well as research, tool.
Jacqueline,
Sure thing, gurl. It would be an honor to be part of your blog! Hell, if your inquisitive enough you may find out some more dark stuff from my life, I think I spilled a lil bit here but nothing that would get me in too much trouble. Especially now that I know Hitchette is or was an attorney! *zips lips* ;)
@Deirdre,
That calmness you feel is what I like to call the “Calm before the storm” depending on the situation your in, if it is at all negative to yourself or to others please be aware that it can get out of control. The situation I shown with my friend in the process of being raped, I believe was pure instinct rather than a triggered emotion. On your comment:
“Maybe triggers aren’t so much a protective mechanism, as I’ve often thought, but rather a way to bring to the surface our emotions, so that they can be dealt with and we have an opportunity to evolve.”
I don’t believe it is a protective mechanism at all. The ancient toltecs taught their people about these mechanisms or triggers. What their method of teaching speaks of is that we must imagine that we have a skin disease with wounds that are infected. What do we do when we need to heal the skin? We go to a doctor. The doctor goes into our skin, uses a scalpel to open the wounds. Then the doctor cleans the wounds, applies medicine and make sures the wound remains clean until it heals and it no longer hurts us.
Now Erika, please correct me if I am wrong but the scalpel would be the truths that the HBR system will uncover within each client. These truths can range from the triggers we hold inside us, the limiting beliefs, anxiety…etc (anything negative). Now if tapping is utilized along with meditation practices and remapping this would be the applied medicine, yes?
Edwin TheCROW
D – I had that same convo with Erika…money and time are really energy exchanges, and she was open to the ideas I presented. I hope you move on/past/around/over the trigger …..grin….
And EThe Crow….come chat on my blog when you can??? Liveyourdreamblog.com – I’d be interested in you writing a story if you’d like, sounds like you have some interesting life experiences??
Ms. E – happy week to you!!!
Talk soon,
Jacqueline
Erika,
Yes, totally resonates – and thank you for your time. I can tell you get results with all of what you share with your clients and making a difference in many lives.
I’d love to work with you and believe that everyone should be compensated for their services in cash, trade, etc… as it’s an exchange.
Love n Light
D
ETC’s experiences remind me of myself somewhat. I may look and act calm when I’m triggered say, in discussions of controversial issues (OK, not always calm-acting), but inside I’m like Oh! I need to be smart! I need to be articulate! I need to get all this complex stuff across to this person! I need to take care of this and see it resolved! The triggers I’m already experiencing from the issues being discussed are then compounded by my beliefs about my own abilities. I think, I’m not smart enough, articulate enough or informed enough to get all of my thoughts (some still unformed) into the discussion. And I feel responsible, as The One That’s Representing (whatever my stance is on the issue). And that’s just another trigger reminding my of my own inadequacies. And it’s a really defensive place to put myself and I don’t like how it feels. I want to be able to engage and feel super heard and also feel calm and confident about my ability to express all that I have to say. And to be really listening too all at the same time without judgement or blame.
Also, I think wanting to be really informed about whatever issue I’m discussing can come from a defensive place, via a trigger, like you know, I know all about this and you don’t therefore I’ll squash your argument like the wacky drivel that it is.. heh. Rush Limbaugh knows all about this kind of stance, but it doesn’t make him any more “heard” by “the other side” or whatever.
Anyway..
“If we go within and clean out our own belief system and our own negative emotional triggers, everyone in our life will change. ”
That’s what I want to focus on, instead of the No! Listen to me I’m right! stuff. It’s just like, I feel challenged listening to people who are feeling triggered and their reaction seems all out of proportion to me, or I just feel turned off by their defensiveness as I’m sure they do to mine, so our communication it now ineffective because, as Erika said, everyone is now reacting, rather than communicating the important things they entered into the dialogue to communicate in the first place.
“Your anger is coming from the IDEA that it’s possible for one person to hurt another person … and that idea is FALSE. It’s impossible for anyone to hurt someone else. But … your mind has accumulated evidence for that “untrue” belief for many years. So with HBR we would need to go in and clean out all that emotional debris that created that belief. And then … you will start to see a world where nobody is hurting anyone else, and the anger will disappear.”
Maybe triggers aren’t so much a protective mechanism, as I’ve often thought, but rather a way to bring to the surface our emotions, so that they can be dealt with and we have an opportunity to evolve. Emotions are, in a way, our bodies ties to the soul. But typically the way we regard triggers is like, wait, I’m triggered therefore YOU are wrong. And then we have a mess of triggers overlapping all over the place. I for one would rather go somewhere constructive with it, and everything I’ve read about HBR feels completely sensible as a way to get to your own peace, etc. Because even if you’re aware of a lot of your triggers and pitfalls, that’s not really enough is it? We need to go in with that knowledge and clear.
I’m getting there… :)
Hi Deirdre,
Thanks for sharing the story about the natural healer. Yep, the only way for me to help the maximum number of people is to quit my day job. Now that I’m doing that, more than ever, this blog will need to be supporting me financially. I will continue to offer free tips and hints, but the truth is that people can make MUCH faster progress working with me one-on-one than they can make trying to do this by themselves.
And, yes, you are on the right track with your comment about triggers. And, yes, it’s great to bring more conscious awareness into the process, but you are right that it’s “not really enough.” HBR is designed to get people out of their heads “analyzing” their triggers, and simply get in there and erase the triggers.
If anyone would like to see 12 independent reviews from my very happy clients, please email me at Erika@ErikaAwakening.com, and I’ll send you the link to the website where you can read them.
cheers,
Erika
Great stuff. I haven’t read all the comments yet, but just wanted to chime in on JD’s concern about Erika advertising her programs. (Sort of an aside to the main discussion here though).
I read somewhere once about a guy who was a natural healer – you know, one of those people who has a gift for healing. He would heal people in and around his community and everyone knew him as an amazing healer. However, he didn’t believe in charging people for his services, even though everyone told him he should. So he also had a day job, which ultimately kept him from expanding his realm of healing to even more people.. He refused to quit, thinking it wasn’t right to charge people for healing and it shouldn’t be mixed up with money. How’s that for a limiting belief? So he spent a lot of time making his living in a job that, you know, just about anyone could’ve done, while depriving more people than necessary of the benefits of his REAL work. Thankfully, Erika’s not doing that. And while it may feel frustrating to some that there’s are adverts in her posts, it’s actually very responsible to her own talents and very generous to her community.
Anyway, great post and comments. Lots and lots of food for thought here all around.
Great stuff everyone –
Core Beliefs/ Triggers.
Recently I moved within 6 blocks of my X and I’ve been helping a friend at a store some 90 ft. away from where the X work. Lot’s has been coming up. Reached out a few times to attempt at being friends but not sure how to navigate that since I never had resolve or closure in how it ended (she kinda went MIA after almost 2 years of being together). We havn’t seen each other since Last November – and a series of very odd emails with a 3rd person had us emailing in March. Anyway, it’s – complicated and Triggering. Lot’s has been coming up and it’s been difficult for me. Thinking it better to work on myself then to re-attempt meeting with her to remain friends with this person.
Hi David,
Welcome to the blog and thanks for sharing your trigger. Yes, situations with an ex can be very triggering, and very often is really touching on pain from the long ago past. I will say this: I have seen many situations shift and heal by doing what you are suggesting, that is, work on yourself first before trying to work it out with her. If you were my client, I would explore with you the memories, beliefs, and feelings that are triggered by this situation, and we would clear out all the old baggage. You would then be in what I call the Space of Empowerment. Calm, quiet, peaceful, non-blaming … and able to make clear choices that serve your highest good and the highest good of others.
That resonate with you?
cheers,
Erika
checking in – :)
Oye Erika,
Indeed all this is VERY powerful and transformation of it can be quite challenging if one does not know how to handle it. Your comment of “recreating your map of reality from the inside out” is a very interesting. If the person involved is utilizing HBR does this action of replacing all the negative patterning, expectations, and triggers (emotional debris) than the perspective outside of himself/herself will alter respectively, right?
@Jason
I understood the point you were making but Jacqueline is correct in saying I was only making a point from personal experience. There is a difference between the triggers that lie within each and every one of us and the triggers that happen outside of our control.
“So you, Edwin, cannot consciously and logically argue your way out of reacting to someone pushing your buttons!”
When I received the signal that my friend was in danger I immediately reacted because her life was in immediate danger. There was no “connecting Past trauma/events” (thank you for the eloquent description, Jacqueline ;) ) It became an action to stop the threat, and remove her from that situation. Events like this became unavoidable because knowing what goes through the minds of perpatrators like this is impossible to distinquish.
I believe the internal “push buttons” can be altered so we could react differently when that situation arises but removing it is where I am having a problem seeing. Please elucidate how this process will take shape. Thank you all for the continued information I am learning much from this conversation!
Fiat Luxom!
Edwin TheCROW
Thanks, ETC, for hanging in for this discussion … yes, it really does remove the “push buttons.” And it really does alter a person’s perception of so-called “reality” so fundamentally that violent situations such as the one you described are less and less frequent. “Bad” stuff just stops happening. It’s progressive and permanent, from what I can tell, and I’ve been using it now for years.
I had several medical conditions that spontaneously resolved through the use of this method on emotional issues. I had numerous “hopeless” relationships be restored. My blood pressure dropped. Everything has changed.
And here is where all I can say is, there’s no way for me to really EXPLAIN all of this. It really does take me 15 weeks of intense mentoring to teach it (http://www.spiritualseduction.com/erikas-15-week-miracle-coaching-program), and many people don’t really believe how powerful it is until they experience it for themselves. For now, I’ll leave it at that. I appreciate your willingness to help me get more clarity about it. You’re welcome here anytime, Edwin. :)
cheers,
Erika
Jason, I don’t think ETC is missing the point, I think he is making one. Unconcious, subconcious, mass conciousness…..the girl who had to be carried from that room is NOT connecting Past trauma/events; although she will add that to her events that trigger her for the rest of the life. You are talking about how to heal the triggers, but I’m hearing Edwin talking about a lot of stuff that the concious mind can influence and react to – even to the point of HOW it files the occurance – like under “victim,” under “ptsd,” under “excuses I now have not to accomplish in life,” and no matter what – it felt BAD when it happened…you can recreate it, you can do a lot of stuff to it, but you cannot ever take away that original feell bad – hopefully you can transform it!
Best,
J
Hmmm, I feel intrigued by Jason and Jacqueline’s different interpretations of ETC’s post, and I feel open to ETC sharing more about his perspective …
My overall take is this: until people understand the triggering process at a VERY deep level, they are in the cycle I hear Jacqueline describing … that is, they are NOT making conscious connections between the current situation and past events, they are ADDING to their repertoire of triggers, and they tend to be in a downward spiral …
However, if we can bring in enough conscious awareness and if we can release enough negative emotional energy that is tightly coiled in this situation (and HBR is carefully designed to accomplish both of those purposes), then the situation can actually be used to REVERSE the entire process of accumulating traumas, the old pain and the current pain can be healed completely, and the person’s ability to be present and calm and quiet will increase. Now there is more spaciousness to continue the process of de-triggerizing a person, one “push button” at a time … does that make sense?
In other words, I have designed a coaching system that rapidly and systematically gets rid of a person’s “baggage” so that they can once again live their life on a fresh, clean slate, as if they were starting life over without any of the “bad” things that happened to them …
PS – Would it really serve us for CURRENT pain and anger to dissapear? Do they not propel us into growth?
The girl with the questions….
J
Hey, Yoda Princess….on the site we share, I wrote about Mirorr/triggers are great but the BODY doesn’t lie….and trusting you are feeling the truth no matter what you’re seeing. What do you think?
And I changed my comments on my blog – liveyourdream.com (ha! promo)…..see if you like em better? they were very circular….lol…
Thanks for being YOU!!! Hot, Mystical, Cuts like a Knife, YOU….
hugs,
Jacqueline
Edwin,
“careful crossing the threshold of logic and emotions because mixing the both could cause more issues. If people were to become a logical society than where would emotion be exhibited at? For example, it is logical to remain married with a person because you get the benefits of insurance, combined income, a family type unit for the kids possible. But… is it logical to stay with someone if you are unhappy with a person? spouse is abusive, sex completely sucks, major trust issues abound, selfishness….etc?”
You’re missing the point. The subconscious mind has its own logic and it is very good at sticking to that logic. Irrationality is different and that is not cleared until you remove the blocked emotion. Once you understand why your button is there to begin with, then the whole picture starts to make sense and become rather logical. It might be heretical to your sensibilities, but there is logic in how we are built as human beings, even when it comes to emotions.
Emotions are not random, my friend. They have direct causes. Cause and effect is a logical process. The irony is that motivations and decisions are almost entirely based on emotions. We argue that the causes of those emotions often lie deep and hidden in your subconscious. So you, Edwin, cannot consciously and logically argue your way out of reacting to someone pushing your buttons! They simply work each and every time! It is in fact your conscious mind that doesn’t reason logically because it is dealing with an incomplete picture of reality.
My mental computer is running hot and the fan just kicked on. Whew!
Heya Erika,
Well you definitely asked the right person about how to simplify things because that is something I have always have done in both occupations and personal life. It does make life choices and accelerated learning faster to comprehend. Ok, first I would like to address this statement:
“Your anger is coming from the IDEA that it’s possible for one person to hurt another person … and that idea is FALSE. It’s impossible for anyone to hurt someone else.”
This is a hard sell to most likely the majority of the people in the world because the fact is our lives I can bet that everyone has seen this happen in front of them. For example, a person mistreats another with a negative emotion than the affected person will most likely react in a negative way in the manner they only know how. Our end result sometimes is tears, or like myself ‘anger’ it all depends on the thinking of the person. (which HBR looks like will help when that occurs.)
“But … your mind has accumulated evidence for that “untrue” belief for many years.”
This all depends on the degree or level of the “hurting”. I will explain why. With my past backround I have had to deal with the mistreatment of women. I have been in situations where a friend of mine was conducting a business transaction and in the process of it happening the client took matters in his own hands and began to start raping her. Just prior to it happening I was notified and I had to literally barge into the room, disable the attacker and carry her off while she cried in shock. This event was very real and unfortunately exists around us all the time. Physical, emotional and psychological damage was inflicted so “hurting” would not be a falsity for this example.
Now I can see where HBR can help assist in working out the aftermath of the event. A sort of reactionary solution to help this person but to prevent that I am certainly at a lost how it could do that. From what I’ve read so far, and my past training in esoteric teachings it does seem you do major internal work. Some schools of thoughts call it “Introspection” This system how I would explain it to be in the most simplified manner is:
We teach our clients how the emotional aspect of their mind works in regards to their each and individual lives (cause each person is unique in their own way) This is where we show evidence that with what happens on the inside produces the events around them on the outside. (same as the hermetic teaching – As it is above so shall it be below)
@Jason,
“You can bring all this subconscious logic to the surface of your conscious mind.”
careful crossing the threshold of logic and emotions because mixing the both could cause more issues. If people were to become a logical society than where would emotion be exhibited at? For example, it is logical to remain married with a person because you get the benefits of insurance, combined income, a family type unit for the kids possible. But… is it logical to stay with someone if you are unhappy with a person? spouse is abusive, sex completely sucks, major trust issues abound, selfishness….etc?
Ok im stepping off the soap box. hehe ;)
Your it, Hitchette!
Edwin TheCROW
Hmm, Edwin, yes that is the challenge … this stuff is so powerful that many people seem to have a hard time imagining that anything could really be THAT powerful …
How about this? We are working at the deepest levels of the subconscious mind, and literally recreating your map of reality from the inside out … when that has been accomplished, violence will disappear from your life. It will be farther and farther away from you, and will touch you not. Pain will disappear from your life. Anger will disappear from your life. Everyone around you will change as you change. People will become softer, gentler, kinder. And really you are just looking into your own mirror, and the truth it is YOU who became softer, gentler, kinder. YOU were the only person who needed to change all along, and now your mirror is clear and clean again.
Edwin,
Erika is laying out for you the complexity you experience when people’s consciousness level is at the level of “button-pushing.” HBR is based at getting to the root cause of your buttons and resolving that issue directly. Once you drill down into the subconscious, the rationale for peoples’ behavior is suddenly simplified. You can bring all this subconscious logic to the surface of your conscious mind. You can be triggered in an infinite number of ways from a single traumatic event in your childhood, for example. If you don’t release the emotional block around that trauma, you’re just a walking keyboard with a sign hanging around your neck saying, “Push on any key.”
Because Erika has spent years studying and developing the techniques that led her to HBR, she has the powerful ability to get down to the root cause of your buttons very quickly and then release the emotional blocks around them. And so you work your way up and down the tangled branches of your “tree of subconsciousness” until the buttons themselves disappear.
I have spent many hours in coaching and training with her and I have made dramatic strides in my life toward being and getting what I want. And if this also sounds like a commercial to you, it’s not. It’s just what I have experienced.
Oops! you don’t have an edit feature to this blog? I just want to fix this I meant to say:
I do my best to be non-judgemental.
not what I had posted:
“I do my best to try not to be non-judgemental”
My bad ;)
Helloo Erika,
Yes you nailed it on the head. There was and still is a lot of anger, at least from my part within the mindset I was going through. The unique thing about all of this is he still remains friends with her and it seems that he was successful in inflicting enough damage to make others upset like her tears of being pushed into this, anger from myself and her brother. People so manipulative should never be involved in other people’s lives until they understand themselves how damaging their behavior is on people.
“Each of those judgments has anger, guilt, shame, and fear all coiled up in it, just waiting for the next opportunity to explode.”
Anger I will fully take ownership of that, the guilt, shame and fear I don’t think I exhibit that do I? The anger though does feel like it is coiled up and when I first saw the tears build up and go down her face as we talked I felt nothing but raw anger knowing that if this prick had not compounded her stress levels by forwarding this message to her we would not be here talking of this and she wouldn’t be so upset.
I do my best to try not to be non-judgemental, it is the higher road of learning but when the people close to me end up becoming hurt from someone else I tend to become the protective type and will battle if the need arises.
Thank you, Hitchette!
Edwin TheCROW
Hi Edwin,
I appreciate your willingness to continue to dialogue with me. I feel a bit frustrated with my own expression sometimes, perhaps you can help? Holistic Belief Reprogramming truly is a revolutionary system. There’s nothing like it on the planet as far as I know. It changes completely the way people think about “reality.” And I don’t see any way to explain it in a few comments. As I mentioned to JD before, it takes me a full 15 weeks of intensely mentoring someone to teach the system (details here: http://www.spiritualseduction.com/erikas-15-week-miracle-coaching-program).
Your anger is coming from the IDEA that it’s possible for one person to hurt another person … and that idea is FALSE. It’s impossible for anyone to hurt someone else. But … your mind has accumulated evidence for that “untrue” belief for many years. So with HBR we would need to go in and clean out all that emotional debris that created that belief. And then … you will start to see a world where nobody is hurting anyone else, and the anger will disappear.
How can I possibly express how revolutionary that is, and how it works on a practical level, in a few comments?
And as for the trying not to be judgmental, how well has “trying” ever worked for anyone? Lol ;) HBR takes all the work out of it … you won’t have to “try” anymore. You’ll simply see that it’s true: nobody can hurt anyone else. It’s impossible. Therefore, no need to be angry.
cheers,
Erika
Oye Erika,
First, I would like to thank you for the insight into this situation and yes, it does help me better understand the events as it transpired. Everyone that was involved was definitely not acting from a calm & quiet place. From what it seemed like, once the anger was released out of the gates it took on a life of it’s own and smothered everyone involved. The choice of blame is always the easy one to make because you are right, it does give your power away. The moment of finding out that a FB message was sent wasn’t the moment I chose to blame. That moment from my perspective was a brother, who loves his sister and doesn’t want his sister being hurt. I didn’t really assign a blame but I did recognize that within 10-20minute time period three lives became perplexed full of emotions. A couple days after I confronted her about my actions and apologized for what had happened. I explained to her that she should not blame her brother for what he had done and he was only acting out of love for her and that he didn’t want her to be hurt. She had informed me that she was more angry with me. Inside my mind, the damage this BF or ex-BF had done with one cowardly move of forwarding a facebook message to her. He not only caused issues between her brother and her and now with me and her. With this notion, I quickly took my power back and just told her my feelings about what happened. I told her that it was not right that he forwarded you that message and that you didn’t need to be involved because if he was any man at all, he would’ve apologized for mistreating you and told your brother that you had broken up with him. During our talk she cried and said that she just had too much stress going on at once. I did the only thing I can do is just be there for her. This situation I would like to call a “Shitstorm” could have easily been avoided only if we understood how to remain calm and understand how things happen as they do. I imagine this is what the HBR does along with the meditation practices. Thank you again for your help, Hitchette! ;)
Edwin TheCROW
Hi Edwin,
Thanks for your response. I appreciate your description of the anger as taking on a life of its own, because that is what it appears to do for most people, until they understand what is giving rise to it …
And that’s where really I’d like to go deeper with this. HBR is not like meditation. Indeed, it is not like anything I’ve encountered on the face of this planet, and I have tried just about everything …
So let’s take this example from what you wrote:
“Inside my mind, the damage this BF or ex-BF had done with one cowardly move of forwarding a facebook message to her. He not only caused issues between her brother and her and now with me and her. With this notion, I quickly took my power back and just told her my feelings about what happened. I told her that it was not right that he forwarded you that message and that you didn’t need to be involved because if he was any man at all, he would’ve apologized for mistreating you and told your brother that you had broken up with him.”
In this few sentences, I hear dozens if not hundreds of beliefs, and many of them are judgments. Do you hear that as you read it again?
Each of those judgments has anger, guilt, shame, and fear all coiled up in it, just waiting for the next opportunity to explode. This is what Eckhart Tolle calls “the pain body.”
HBR would go into that paragraph you wrote and remove all of the negative energy, and a situation like the one you described would never happen again.
cheers,
Erika
Erika aka “Hitchette”,
Hey, as requested here is the details of my “pust button” event. I have already figured out the order of events from the experience so I will just lay it out for you. A close and dear friend of mine was having issues with her boyfriend. She finally decided that the relationship was not going in the direction she had anticipated so she took action and initiated a break-up. She has many issues that is compounding stress around her and it seems his behavior was not helping her. As this event was happening I was communicating with her brother via facebook. We only were chatting for a mere few minutes and the topic of her sister came up and I only said that “He would not be happy with what is going on” he than asked for the guys facebook name and I had told him. But I did tell him that if I said anything about what was going on it would only cause an argument between me and her. Well…what happened moments later is he apparently sent her BF a FB message warning him to never hurt his sister. We both did not know at that time she was breaking up with him. Not less than 10 minutes later I get a text. (this is my button) It had said that she had just broke up with her BF and she accused me of making her situation worse by talking to her brother because her ex-bf of only a few minutes had the tenacity of forwarding the warning that her brother sent to him. I took major offence to being accused of divulging any information about what is going on in her life because I know that everyone personal life is there own business and no-one else’s. Her accusing me pissed me off to the point that I was even telling her things that I wouldn’t normally say if I was not angry.
I realize now why this transpired the way it did. well maybe… you can point out something. Insteading of manning up to the fb message from her brother and apologizing how he treated his sister and letting him know that she had just broken up with him he lashes out in anger and uses what was suppose to be a message to protect his own sister and forwards it to her (not that she has enough issues to deal with ) and causes a whirlwind of drama and anquish between brother & sister. In my opinion a very cowardly act. Because of this cowardly move it seems that all issues of mistreatment from him to her was shifted to me because I only told the name of the BF my friends brother. Blame games are something I never like to get caught up in but I guess it becomes unavoidable if a life lesson needs to be learned.
Edwin TheCROW
Hey Edwin,
Thanks for your comment. For context, I’m posting your original question from my Facebook Fan Page (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Erika-Awakening/117983598213337) here:
Edwin asked: “I will share. My button was just recently pushed and from reading your posting on how it is connects with a past event and how HBR helps review it makes perfect sense. This event just occured within a couple of days ago and it was much eas…ier to review and understand why they came about. It was very strange how it came about. The trigger had absolutely nothing to do with me but it ALL stems from someone elses anger which in turn brought out issues about me. There seems to be a connectivity of emotions which landslides and becomes devastating for the people around the issue. A seed of destructive force you could say. My question to you is…does HBR & meditation techniques only facilitate prevention of emotional disarray because you assist with the connection of past events of emotional triggers? what does it do to help the client notice it entering in their lives again?”
Hey Edwin,
Thanks for sharing your situation. This is exactly the sort of situation that I help people sort out in a Holistic Belief Reprogramming session.
And here’s the thing: from reading your description, I can tell that *everyone* in this situation was triggered. Nobody was acting from a calm, quiet place of presence. Everyone was REACTING.
Now, each person in the situation has a choice: blame it on somebody else and thereby give their power away. Or recognize that we don’t need to worry about changing other people. If we go within and clean out our own belief system and our own negative emotional triggers, everyone in our life will change. There are literally hundreds if not thousands of limiting beliefs operating in the situation you have described, and we would go in and clear them all out, and then everybody involved in the situation would “seem different” afterward. Calmer, happier, less argument-prone, not blaming anymore. I have seen this happen time and time again.
Does that help?
– Erika
Erika,
I wanted to ask under your “Coaching” tab, I don’t see any email support that you once provided before. Is that still available?
I wanted to request a script for tapping. How would this work? Email you the situation? And write out my/limiting beliefs/thoughts/views/ That I’m concerned about and then you’ll be able to write me out a script using your intuition in order for me to tap along with it?
If so what would be the cost and what would you prefer to go about this?
Thank you again.
Hi JD,
Thank you for understanding, I really appreciate it. Sure, we could do email coaching. I would be willing to answer a question in detail and provide a script for the price of an intro session. You would send me a detailed email about the issue, and I would likely ask you some follow-up questions to make sure I have enough clarity about what’s going on … and then I would provide you with action steps and a script tailored to your situation. If you (or anyone else eavesdropping on this conversation) would like to take advantage of this, simply sign up for an intro session on the coaching page and then send me your question with quite a bit of detail about the issue, your goal (lately I’ve been encouraging people to write out “I commit to … ” statements — they are very powerful), what beliefs you’ve already identified, memories it reminds you of, etc.
Sound good?
– Erika
Thank you for your Honesty Erika. Very *Refreshing* to read. When you wrote “So, yes, it is an advertisement for sessions, and it will continue to be an advertisement for sessions” Summed up my original confusion about the details of the content that you have provided.
I don’t know why I feel mis-lead. In regards to the title “How to Use an Emotional “Trigger” to Solve Your Problems and Heal Your Life” I was expecting to see steps/examples/rituals/methods on ways to implement “How to us an emotional “trigger” to solve your problems.” Instead it was once again in regards to sign up for one of your sessions. (Which I have done and has worked) I’ve felt the urger to say this and that is most of the posts seem like an advertisment for your EFT sessions. And in regards to the series they seem vague and not very detailed. Just from what I got out of it. Thanks for sharing. Just felt the urge to write this to you.
Hey JD,
I appreciate your comment and honest feedback. I hear some frustration and perhaps a request … for more practical tips. And I’d like to share with you a few responses, and I invite you to dialogue with me.
First, as regards “steps/examples/rituals/methods,” there’s only so much I can put in any one article, and this morning I wrote all that I had time for … beyond that, though, much of the power of my work is intuitive and based on years of experience. To teach it to others requires me to spend 15 weeks mentoring them in my Miracle coaching course. It’s not something that a paragraph or two in a blog article is going to do justice to …
Second, I suppose I feel a bit of frustration. This blog serves a business. I love helping people, and I have provided reams and reams of free content on my blogs and forums and by traveling around the country giving speeches. But I also need to make a living doing this. It’s not a charity. So, yes, it is an advertisement for sessions, and it will continue to be an advertisement for sessions, so that I can make enough income doing this work to have the same abundance that I’m able to get for my clients. If I can help people attract thousands of dollars (which you know from personal experience I can), why should I not share in that wealth?
I welcome your feedback, what do you think?
– Erika
I can teach you all to liberate your whole life, and to have so much abundance that the money you spent on coaching with me ends up seeming like nothing in the long run … and it’s got to be a two-way street. In order to keep giving to you, I also need to receive. And in order for you to receive fully, you must also be giving … that’s how this stuff works …