How I got my sense of humor back … ;)

Wow, the past few weeks have been amazing! Major energetic shifts on several fronts. I feel light and happy again. My sense of humor has returned. I’m excited for Johnny Soporno’s workshop in Vegas in January because I get to see a bunch of my favorite guys.

I attribute this new lightness to the deeper work I’ve been doing over the past couple of months. Essentially I looked at my life at any and all areas that were not yet feeling clear (old conflicts and such), and then in many cases I contacted the people who had been involved with those situations (even if the incidents were many years ago), used some radical honesty, and got really present with whatever icky feelings arose.

This included several former lovers, my parents, my siblings, and a number of friends.

There’s a conventional wisdom that says “I don’t need the other person (whether that other person is a former lover, a parent, and old friend, or anyone else) to resolve a conflict or situation. I can find peace about it all by myself.” At some level, that’s true. But remember What Is Holistic Belief Reprogramming? works best when we are able to tune in fully to whatever emotions were triggered by a specific incident. I have found that actually having a conversation with the other person or people who was/were involved is enormously helpful for stirring those old emotions back up again so they can be cleared. It’s not that I’m looking to punish or blame the other person, as that would not be in line with an intention of healing. It’s not that I’m looking for the other person to give me something to make me whole again either, because nothing outside of ourselves can save us. It’s that talking with them gives me access to the emotions within myself that is a deeper form of access than I am able to get doing this by myself.

This process of digging up old unresolved hurts, having these honest conversations, and doing EFT on the feelings that come up is turning out to be enormously healing, regardless of the other person’s response. I feel much clearer and much lighter. What I’m noticing, too, is that it is resulting in true forgiveness. Whereas before I may have had trouble letting go of an old grudge, now after doing this process, I often no longer even remember what I was upset about. My mind doesn’t “go there” anymore, so there is no longer any impulse to rehash anything. And there will no longer be any karmic baggage to carry into new relationships.

This is liberation, both for me and the other person! :)

Another really powerful way for people to clear this stuff out is to do Erika Awakening Coaching Page *with* the other person. This is a huge relief for both people, as both have an opportunity to say everything they need to say and release it within the safety of tapping (which helps buffer conversations by preventing energy from getting stuck — no more intractable conflicts). This is another area I am experimenting with recently and hope to share with you all soon about my insights.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Thanks Erika –

    I feel inspired to tap on one fo my exes I saw recently –

    yes it brought back emotions!

  2. Thakns Erika – I feel inspired to tap on one of my exes now that I just saw recently. yes it brought back emotions!

  3. Is that so? Then why did your comment make me laugh …

  4. Erika, you never had a sense of humor

  5. I know you mean radical honesty through non violent communication
    so do I.

    nothing about blames and criticism or stuff like that.

  6. Hi McSmokey,

    Well, we may have slightly different perspectives here. I actually don't believe anything is ever gained by holding stuff back.

    My approach works best when we stop focusing on specific outcomes and start focusing on the big picture.

    First of all, we learn a new form of radical honesty that doesn't involve blaming or criticizing the other

  7. Erika honestly, radical honesty is a double edged sword. it can either clear the vibes and tensions, or create them.

    and btw PU should not have rules cuz everyone is different. the only thing is do what makes you a happy person and let it shine through you and not hide under masks.

    somewhere there will be someone who is similar to you, or likes you. but first you need to

  8. Hi Erika,

    Last week??? was it really just last week, I kept running into a woman who "had been my friend". Long story short, I had felt betrayed by her because of shared sexual connection with someone. I had cut off ALL communication with her for about 7 months but I knew the time had come to forgive the entire thing.

    I was a but resistant and then, felt

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