Deep Comfort Game Part II: Why Intimacy Matters (Mark Manson)

Mark Manson Deepens His Relationship with Erika Awakening, Part 2

More on the Mark Manson seduction with such an unfortunate ending. Apparently according to Mark Manson himself, quite typical for him, resulting in a very long list of angry ex-girlfriends. Some of Mark Manson’s ex-girlfriends have been so angry with him that they sought to harm him.

This was the original blog post:

Halffull left a comment on this blog the other day. He said:

“[T]he community sucks when it comes to deep comfort connection game. Which is why the stuff ‘shouldn’t work’… it’s going into unexplored territory. More information about this stuff is definitely needed.”

Before I get into all the details of how Connection Guy (Mark Manson aka Entropy PUA) seduced me, I want to say a few words about why deep comfort (a/k/a intimacy) matters. Let me put it this way, If you care about having great sex, then you need to care about intimacy.

One reason that I didn’t have sex with anyone for such a long time is that I didn’t want to have what I call “aluminum sex.” That horrible feeling where you just participated in this incredibly intimate act and then afterwards (and sometimes even during) you feel that awful hollow emptiness. For me, that feeling happens when I don’t feel fully connected to the other person.

Whereas with Connection Guy (Mark Manson aka Entropy PUA) …

By the time we were having sex, I already felt DEEPLY connected to him. Still, I didn’t expect what happened. I have heard lots of people TALK about tantric sex and how amazing it is, but I’d never seen even a glimpse of it. Until now.

Let me just say for now that the sex with Connection Guy (Mark Manson aka Entropy PUA) was amazing. Not because we did any fancy acrobatics or athleticism. Because of the connection. I’m talking about waves of euphoria coming over us, and we were both feeling it at the same time. I’m talking about seeing white light come over my whole field of vision. About being fully present in the moment as if nothing else existed. A sense of being connected to the Divine.

So why should guys care about intimacy? For lots of reasons, and one of them is great sex. :-)

Update August 2014: Unfortunately, this beautiful and blossoming relationship between Mark Manson and Erika Awakening did not turn out very well and a big factor in that was Mark Manson’s dishonesty about his relationship with his girlfriend, his dishonesty with her, his dishonesty about his intentions with me, and so forth. I am still hoping he will see the merit in making amends with me one of these days soon:

Mark Manson: How Not to Attract Women with Dishonesty


erika awakening

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Hey Chris,

    Thanks for commenting. “Connection Guy” — as I revealed in a later post — is Entropy. You can see his blog at He recently posted an article describing each stage of his PUA journey. It sounds like you might enjoy reading his stuff.


  2. Anonymous says:

    Hey Erika and Paul, I’m really interested in learning more about how Connection Guy got good in 6 months and what Paul meant when he said he does private coaching.


  3. hi Paul,

    well, let’s see… Connection Guy got good in 6 months… so yeah, again it fits with what you are saying.

    It’s no accident that I talk in this seduction blog so much about A Course in Miracles, which is of course a channeled work from the Christ Mind. Who is more seductive than J?

    Paul (what an appropriate name ;-), how can we connect? It seems like we have some synergies in the work we are doing and may be able to help each other.


  4. hi Erika,

    chakra mapping pua skills is still in my head and i havent consciously put it all on paper. i probably write bits and pieces in different posts.

    right now, i’m doing private coaching with a client using an accelerated spiritual growth model. if you activated the crown, 3rd eye, throat, and heart chakas, a student of pu can rapidly master the pua game in probably less than 1 year compared to the traditional pu models of 3-5 years to be at top pua level, and then you still might have a ton of baggage. by the activating your divine presence or your god-given right, you can access infinity. you work from the standpt of deep inner peace, compassion, unconditional acceptance of yourself and all your fellow beings. this is about activating the crown chakra, the christ-like consciousness. if you can be christ who i believe is probably the greatest pua who laid hot jewish women left and right, and then the other guys got jealous and crucified him ;) because he was so unconditionally accepting and loving, how could women resist.. lol!

    anyways, i was working with a guy who was an engineer with zero pua training and knowledge and has average social skills. using this spiritual growth model, he was able do many pu stuff pretty instantaneously. i encourage you to explore this realm as well. namaste, paul

  5. hi Paul,

    I am super interested in this PUA “chakra mapping,” Yes, please, tell me more.

    Well, crown chakra being the seat of inspiration and connection with the Divine, then yes I would say we are connected there too. We may have a divine purpose to help each other fulfill, we definitely inspire each other in connection with that purpose, and I’ve heard with a strong crown chakra connection that two people can communicate nonverbally (which he and I definitely can, even from a distance).

    I’d say the same about my connection with Hypnotica.

    Paul, I really would love to hear more from you on this blog. It sounds like you see where this is all going ;-)


  6. Erika, thank u for seeing me as an ‘enlightened’ person. since you are a quite fan of acim, i’m going to answer your question with a question. even though you ‘are not sure what crown chakra connection feels like’, my immediate response to you is… if you ask yourself the same question, what answers come up? since you, i, or everyone else is god, and as an infinite being, the alpha omega, with the akashic records already within each one of us, what answer comes up for you? i appreciate your interests in my opinion but ultimately your truth is the only truth that matters.

    if you are interested, i can map the chakras according to pua skills relating to each chakra. right now, the top puas and pua schools only address the lower chakras and somewhat the heart chakra. just my observation based reading their blogs… less than a handful of top puas even have their higher chakras activated and even if they are activated, they are very unconscious of them. so far, the pu community has not had a need to do so just because the consciousness is not there yet and that’s why there is a need for your gifts/talents in this world.
    namaste, paul

  7. Wow, Paul, what a fascinating question. I’m tempted to say we connected on all. I wonder what Connection Guy would say.

    Heart for sure. Lower chakras for sure. Throat I think for sure because we spent so much time talking and laughing, communication was very free and open. (In fact we were having so much fun that the fifth and final night we didn’t sleep at all and stayed up all night talking and playing.)

    Third eye is the seat of intuition, so I’d say that for sure too, as we spent a lot of time also connecting with intuitions and ideas.

    I’m not sure what crown chakra connection feels like. Can you enlighten me what that would feel like?

  8. Erika,

    here’s woo woo question for ya:) … do you feel that you connected with the Connection Guy on all 7 charkra energetic levels esp. the crown, throat, heart, 3rd eye? it is rare to connect with someone on all 7 levels.

    typically, a LTR usually requires only connect with the heart and the lower chakras. ONS only requires connecting on root and sacral chrakas. what are you thoughts?

  9. Welcome to the blog, PUA Victim. It is always nice to hear other girls’ emotional perspectives. Your comments are welcome here anytime! :-)

  10. I love this post. Like you I can’t have sex with someone, unless I have a connection with them. Makes sex so much better. And you really can not have a “friend with benefits” either because it could become very emotional. It’s fine if it’s a one time deal, but one is probably going to get hurt. Just became a fan of your blog:)

  11. @ Halffull, one thing that’s funny is someone on RSDN thought that you were Connection Guy. There are similarities in your game style.

  12. Doesn’t seem weird to me to not say the name’s of girls I’ve been with, but then again I was taught to protect girl’s repuations by Frank from the get go.
    I think maybe girl’s don’t do it because that’s the kind of behavior they also want to attract?

  13. Entropy… I think that’s an excellent way to look at it.

    I ran into this problem when I was going through my “friends with benifits” stage. We’d have incredibly close connection, as I continued to hang out with her, I realized that I didn’t feel as connected to her as she felt to me. Girls started trying to go exclusive, and bad things happened.

    I think that’s probably a unique set of circumstances that most guys won’t get into… but I also think a cautionary warning about mindset, leading girls on, and “with great power comes great responsiblity” is warranted when covering such topics.

  14. @ DJ Fuji, lol sorry I ruined your dinner hon :-p

  15. Ewww i’ll never look at connection guy the same way again. Guys aren’t supposed to know intimate details about the sex lives of their friends. It gives us disturbing mental images. :)

    Have you ever noticed how girls don’t mention the NAMES of guys they hook up with or meet? Like I get that it provides anonymity here, but it happens even among close friends, or when the name would be easier to remember than “firefighter-who-sings-opera-and-whom-i-met-at-starbucks-guy”. It’s because of the power of IDENTITY. But I digress. I know, I should blog about it. Eventually.

  16. Half_full: I rarely run into that problem. It usually comes down to managing expectations well. You can build deep, heart-wrenching comfort and connection without using the pretenses that you’re going to be with her long-term or even more than one night. I’ve had multiple one-night deep comfort experiences (“Same Night Loves” if you will) where the girl thanked me the next morning for the mind-blowing experience and we never spoke again.

    Building that insanely deep connection with girls that I don’t plan on seeing long-term, I treat the experience as a rollercoaster ride that we’re both on and there will come a moment where we both get off (no pun intended) and go our separate ways. I’ve yet to find a girl who has major issues with this as we usually disconnect together — her emotions no longer say to stay with me, so she has no qualms with leaving either. We’re both left with a wonderful experience that we can cherish (not in the RSD sense) for the rest of our lives.

  17. Great Sex is a great “headfake” I think… it’s an amazing bonus, but we both know that the benifits go much deeper.

    There’s also a dark side to too much deep comfort game tho, as I discovered when I started using it all the time, even on girls that I wasn’t naturally compatible with… it can lead to lots of heartbreak if misused.

  18. Blake Steele says:

    Hi Erika,

    Perhaps this is a good place to share the link to the sexual happiness audio you suggested some time ago. I wholly agree with your directions. There are two possibilities to go with sexuality, into a type of addictive cycle that is still linked to basic egotistical selfishness, or into the essence of actual self, into the Divine naked Light, into the actual nature of sex to open us, to pierce into and split us wide open to the mystery and beauty of Existence, into the spontaneous freedom that only creative Love can give, into a wild, primal divinity that is endlessly creative and utterly pure… in the very best sense of that word… pure elixir of creatively free, selfless Love where everything starts to make sense and find its ultimate meaning. Love to you, Erika, in your courageous adventure.

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