How Pressure Kills Relationships and What You Can Do About ItHave you ever been in a dating situation or a relationship that felt like “pressure”? If you’re paying attention, you’ll notice that the Universe delivers lessons in pairs. In one situation, you may be the person applying pressure and you may find it difficult to relate to why the other person is backing away. So the Universe solves that problem by putting you then in the mirror position, where you are being pressured. Voila! It’s no longer difficult to relate to the person who ran away from you, because now you find yourself running for the hills …
If we are paying attention, we can use these “lessons in pairs” experiences to calibrate ourselves to the exact perfect balance in our lives …
But I digress. Anyway, we have all been in the situation where we either put pressure on someone else, or had someone putting pressure on us. Either way it is really stressful. Either way, it kills the chemistry and the fun. The pressure can be overt or it can be very subtle.So now you are probably waiting for me to give the standard “relationship advice” here and tell you to stop putting pressure on the other person. No, I’m not going to do that. Because it won’t work. In fact, it’ll probably make things worse. You’ll feel pressured by the advice and then you will put even more pressure on the situation.
Many people don’t want to hear this … but there is no quick fix for the tendency of putting “pressure” on dating and relationships. The pressure is not all behavior. It’s actually a feeling that can be sensed between the two people even if they are thousands of miles apart and no words are spoken. So “no contact” is not going to solve the problem.
The feeling of pressure is arising out of your belief system. And it’s not just arising out of one belief. It is arising out of thousands of beliefs. Beliefs about how your life “should” be going. Beliefs about how the other person “should” be behaving. Beliefs about your worthiness. Old unresolved traumas between you and your parents, siblings, and teachers. Beliefs about your body and how long you think it’s going to be “attractive.” Beliefs about what your friends and family think about your relationship “status.” The list goes on and on and on …
All of those limiting beliefs and fears are putting “pressure” into your vibe. They are making you way too attached to the outcome and not able to move with the flow of life, which is not always linear, even when it is ultimately going to deliver your heart’s desire. You can clean up those beliefs that are creating the feeling of pressure. But it’s going to take a serious commitment. It may take a year or more of DAILY EFT tapping to make any real headway.
But I tell you … it’s worth the commitment. You may not think so right now because the idea of tapping every day for more than a year to get your result seems like a HUGE task. And it is. Our belief systems and subconscious minds are incredibly complex, multi-layered tanks of mostly nonsensical patterning and inner conflicts. So cleaning up our belief system is almost a herculean task.
And yet … consider the cost of NOT doing it. Everyone has something they have been obsessed about on a daily basis. If it’s not a man or a woman, it might be How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping, or what other people think, or social status … or whatever. Think about how much of your energy and vitality it consumes to be obsessed with whatever it is. Think about how miserable it makes you. Wouldn’t it be worth just about ANYTHING to have peace?
And so you make the commitment, as I have. You chip away at the beliefs, and for months it feels like you are making very little progress. Some days you think you’ve made no progress at all. But you keep going. If you’re paying attention, the Universe gives you priceless opportunities to get deeper clearings (like noted above, letting you play the other role for a while so that you can really EMPATHIZE with all perspectives in the situation). You keep clearing and clearing and clearing. The Universe starts delivering up new options and new adventures.
Then one day you wake up and you notice … that you don’t care anymore. That you feel rational and calm about the situation. That you can negotiate from a powerful place. That you realize you have options and don’t need whomever or whatever it was you thought was so desperately important. And suddenly … the PRESSURE … is gone. The impatience has vaporized. Suddenly you have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to get this solved. You can actually feel your chest expanding and your heart lifting and the possibility of real forgiveness and empowerment is suddenly within reach.
That moment when the pressure lifts … is worth ANY amount of investment of time, money, and EFT tapping. When you are ready to make the serious commitment it requires to get to that moment, I hope you will get in touch with me. Because we are not going to put a band-aid on your problem, and it’s not going to take a day or a week or a month. It may well take a year and maybe even longer. But when you are done, you will be a new person. We are not going to put a band-aid on your problem. We are going to solve it at its source.
Erika Awakening, High Priestess of Miracles at TAPsmarter
(All of the photos in this article were taken by photographer Kevin Heslin of me during my Costa Rica Becoming Fearless journey. New and improved body courtesy of the 30-Day Health & Fitness Challenge HERE.)
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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