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I give my pussy to Christ to do with as he sees fit :)

Some years ago, when I read books about spirituality and self-improvement, I often heard teachers talk about the idea of “surrender”

At the time, it was almost offensive to me. In retrospect, it was only offensive to my ego. I had spent my whole life chasing brass rings, one achievement after another. I did it blindly, not really knowing what it was I was “seeking.” In retrospect, of course, what I really wanted was love and acceptance. And in classic ego-driven fashion, I was seeking love in forms that would never bring me happiness. External recognition and praise, diplomas, “special” relationships, subtle and not-so-subtle forms of elitism. I was definitely on the “hamster wheel.”

It all came crashing down shortly after I began to meditate, when I had my near-death experience. Immobilized in a hospital bed, I realized that if I were to die that week (which I almost did), I would not feel that I had accomplished what I was put here to do in this lifetime.

The truth is that I had been unhappy for a long time before my near-death experience, though I didn’t really even realize it because I was so deeply asleep. Indeed, I didn’t even know what happiness meant. Sure, I’d had my moments of joy during this lifetime. But they were fleeting and overshadowed by the fear that happiness could never last.

The past few years have been a massive undoing process, where I have held nearly every belief and value that I hold up to the light of questioning, and discarded most of them as not only worthless but destructive.

Life is becoming much more simple. And there are many paradoxes. For example, I consider this past year to be a year in which I simultaneously took full responsibility for everything that happens in my life and also gave over the reins of my life to Christ.

In other words … I surrendered :)

I let go of nearly every worldly goal that seemed to be important. Many of my skills and possessions have simply been converted. I still have my lawyer skills, but I am now using them to understand and overhaul my clients’ belief systems. I still have my house in Tahoe, but now I envision it being converted into a communal home where we can host Holistic Belief Reprogramming workshops.

At the same time, I’ve pretty much stopped setting long-term goals of any kind. “A healed mind does not plan.”

It seemed important before to get married and possibly to have children. Now it seems ridiculous to try to plan something like that. If it’s meant to happen, it will. If it’s not, it won’t. It once was an obsession. I barely even think about it anymore.

There is a Lesson from the Workbook for A Course in Miracles that says this:

Lesson 353

My eyes, my tongue, my hands, my feet today have but one purpose;
to be given Christ to use to bless the world with miracles.

Father, I give all that is mine today to Christ, to use in any way that best will serve the purpose that I share with Him. Nothing is mine alone, for He and I have joined in purpose. Thus has learning come almost to its appointed end. A while I work with Him to serve His purpose. Then I lose myself in my Identity, and recognize that Christ is but my Self.

That’s what I have done. I have given my hands, my feet, my eyes, my ears, my tongue … all of them I have given to Christ. I wake up in the morning having little idea what I will do that day. I wait for Christ to speak to me through Intuition, and I follow the instructions.

I follow the instructions even when it seems impossible:

Do as God’s Voice directs. And if It asks a thing of you which seems impossible, remember Who it is that asks, and who would make denial. Then consider this; which is more likely to be right? The Voice that speaks for the Creator of all things, Who knows all things exactly as they are, or a distorted image of yourself, confused, bewildered, inconsistent and unsure of everything? Let not its voice direct you. Hear instead a certain Voice, which tells you of a function given you by your Creator Who remembers you, and urges that you now remember Him.

Recently, I posted on Facebook a quotation from the Course that says “Give up the world!” It was widely misunderstood, and many people’s egos were offended. People still think the body can get them something they actually want, and they feel outraged when I say “Sex is Nothing.”

And yet, they do not understand, as I did not understand some years ago, that surrender is not defeat. Giving up the world is not defeat. It is another paradox.

“Be really whole, and all things will come to you.” – The Tao

When you realize that you are whole already, without sex, without “achievements,” without planning, without outside approval … the door has been paradoxically opened for you to be a magnet for EVERYTHING you thought you ever wanted … except again the paradox … you WILL NO LONGER CARE about any of these external things … and in this non-caring is your freedom and the door opened to a liberated and fearless experience of magnificent abundance and eternal youth and health.

It seemed unthinkable to me a few years ago to “give up” my spectacular career as a lawyer … and yet, as I have let it go, into my empty hands, God has placed a coaching business that is already How to Attract Abundance EFT tapping audio. The best part is that I actually *love* this coaching, in a way I never loved being a lawyer. If I ended up in that hospital bed again, I could look at my life with joy, knowing how much I contributed to so many people. Real contribution. Health, happiness, financial abundance, finding their true life purpose.

I’ve just spent a glorious week skiing and hanging out with my family. Basking in the abundance of great snow on the slopes, our wine cellar, a hot tub that was perfectly positioned for the lunar eclipse, wonderful home cooking, quiet sharing about our lives. Because I have so radically transformed myself, all of the old dysfunctional family patterns are gone now. The old yucky patterns have disappeared and have been replaced by authentic communication, appreciation, and cooperation. That seemed impossible a few years ago. And I didn’t have to change anyone in my family to accomplish this. I simply changed myself :) “When you are healed, you are never healed alone.”

I don’t call it “Miracle Coaching” for nothing ;)

“Yield and overcome,
Bend and be straight,
Empty and be full …”

- The Tao

And that brings me to the purpose of this article …

For a long time, I felt confused about what to do with my sexuality as my entire world realigned after my near-death experience.

Now it seems so obvious. And today I commit to do the same thing with my pussy that I already did with my eyes, my ears, my hands, my feet, my writing skills, my possessions …

I let go all my egoic ideas about what sexuality and relationships are “supposed” to be …

and I give my pussy to Christ to use as he sees fit … :)

****************

If you are ready to surrender, and find enduring joy and peace, I invite you sign up for an Intro session on my coaching page now. Let me show you how wonderful life can be :)

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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Comments

  1. Wow, Matt, I love it :)

    I feel so seen and understood. Thank you for sharing your insights here.

    And yeah, for those who haven’t experienced being unplugged yet … all I can say is, you have something really amazing to look forward to :)

  2. Matt says:

    If this is de-evolution, sign me up…

    Ya know, I just heard a story last night. Apparently, there is an abandoned nuclear missile silo somewhere in the mid-West that they have converted into condominiums. These condos are so “safe” because they are surrounded by hundreds of cubic feet of concrete. I thought… God, haven’t we come a long way in 50,000 years… from caves to caves.

    Look at everything and see really, honestly, how much “evolution” has really happened. Has any of the technology, “advances”, or anything that most people concentrate on really done anything to behavior? We are really just jumped up apes at this point.

    Until one begins to see the complete uselessness of being a flesh tube at odds with the Universe, none of this will make sense. It usually takes an act of God to make one see the utter oblivion and meaninglessness of all of it. When that happens… something else penetrates… surrender… understanding that one understands nothing… nothing.

    Then you start saying shit like, “Christ use my pussy as you see fit.” Lol… damn… and it makes absolutely no sense until you have allowed something else to penetrate, to worm its way past the iron gate of separateness. At that point, your fucked… but in the best ways… you become more transparent, and you know less than you have ever known in your life… it’s then that joy… finally… can come in.

    It’s funny that many of the people that I know that are going through this process are extremely “successful” in their lives. They have “had it all” sometimes for years. At the pinnacle of their success… BAM… it all becomes useless… utterly unsatisfying, and they cross over into something else, some other place. Fuck, I don’t know where I am or where Erika is… but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Daily, I make that choice.

  3. Roy says:

    is this shit for reals?
    ” stopped setting long-term goals of any kind”
    cool, one of the main advantages our species has over any other. it allowed us to get where we are today.
    If De-Evolution was a real term, this would be it.
    This is Christianity once again responding to current trends to try and get into your head.
    damn mind virus.

  4. Bruce says:

    Erika,
    I am inspired by your integrity and how you allow transformation….

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