Exploring the Power of Feminine Energy

Seems like I’m only discovering the power of feminine energy in its fullness now. It is kind of blowing me away, how magnetic it is. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by how many men it is pulling into my orbit. I want so much to heal everyone’s pain, and I’m not sure I can do that. (I would say it’s not possible to do that, but I’m trying to let go of limiting beliefs. ;-)

And then there are these few men who are energetically very clear and whose energy is so perfectly complementary to mine. Each one of them immediately saw me for my femininity, and we recognized each other immediately upon meeting. They are operating on a whole other level. And I’ll admit that sometimes it feels scary to me to be seen that transparently. It feels like there is no barrier between us, and like it’d be so easy to have sex with them right then and there. Or just merge my being with their being. Exhilarating, but scary.

Exploring the power of feminine energy.

Tonight I’m sending out love to each of those men (most just friends but dear to my heart anyway).

You know who you are.


I’m also feeling confused now as I get back in touch with the intensity of my own sexual energy and feel the magnetism of it. It seems like it must play some role in all this salvation stuff. I mean, the Holy Spirit isn’t going to let powerful energy like that go to waste. But I’m still confused about how to channel it in a way that feels purely life-serving to me.

For example, part of me still wants to be in an exclusive relationship if I’m sleeping with someone (for continuity and stability, mainly — if I’m going to do this, I’d like to go deeper with it, really explore the emotional depths with someone), and part of me wants to have the freedom of non-exclusivity (cuz I love connecting with people and sometimes I want to act spontaneously on the chemistry I feel with someone). Also, I notice that if I fall at all into how girls are “supposed to” think (e.g., worrying about commitment, the future, etc.) that I get all stressed out, and I have zero interest in being stressed out. Thus, I banish all such thinking IMMEDIATELY. Alas …

As my guy from the Natural Game posts said tonight (wisely, I might add), now is the time to stop thinking and BREATHE. :-)

I did run into a friend tonight (at a fun party at Bliss Bar — awesome vibe, hosted by a with-it guy who is affiliated with the Authentic Man Program here in San Francisco. There were so many hot guys and so many hot girls, and it seemed like everyone kinda had that deep, grounded sexual vibe going on… Anyway, this friend of mine somehow seems to have combined continuity, depth, and freedom in his long-term relationship. They are solidly committed to each other but go monogamous or non-monogamous based on how they are both feeling at any particular time. That is very intriguing to me …


erika awakening