If you wrote thank you notes to the people you’d least like to thank, what would you say?

Maybe we don’t know what gratitude really means … how to write thank you notes to the people we like the least

I’ve been thinking about thank you notes :)

HomemadeCappuccinoMy new perspective on life was “tested” today, if you believe in such things … A woman I’ve known over the internet for some time felt triggered by something I did. It was interesting because right before I did the “offending” action, I had a slight moment of hesitation and checked in with my Guidance … and it said “yes” so I went forward …

A few hours later, I received a very angry message about it with quite a few judgments and accusations and a whole lot of interpretations. She went on what I would call in myself a “shame binge,” attempting to “correct” the problem but really probably in a way that would not work. In the past, receiving this email would have been very triggering for me.

Today I had a different response. I immediately saw myself in this woman. I saw all the times – which I’d like to believe are WAY in the past – but some of which if I’m honest happened to some degree even last week … when I lashed out at someone who clearly had done nothing to deserve my rage … because I was in pain. I saw all the times I went on “shame binges” and deleted blog articles or comments I’d written because I was torn up inside. And I felt … compassion.

Sometimes when we are in pain, we simply do not see the big picture. And we do stupid things and take it out on people. And you know … it’s okay. I forgive you. I forgive myself.

So to this woman I say “thank you.” Here is my thank you note to you, even if I’m still a little miffed and irritated. Thank you for showing me myself. Not a self for me to judge or criticize or belittle. Not a self for me to attack in return with more judgments and anger into a downward spiral. Nope, I can see this woman in pain, and I don’t need to attack her. She is part of myself, for me to understand better why people act the way they do. And my job is to have compassion. Compassion for myself, and compassion for her. She and I are the same. My job is to see past her pain and judgments to who she is trying to be underneath all that self-judgment and bitter despair. My job is to see her divinity. And my own. Simultaneously.

What thank you notes would you write to the people in your life you’d least like to acknowledge or thank? Who do you consider to be your worst enemies? Those who “betrayed” you and broke your heart …

Perhaps they can show all of us how to love ourselves a little more completely.

I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.


Erika Awakening, Teaching People How to Create Everyday Miracles at TAPsmarter

Erika Awakening is one of the world’s foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and living life on your own terms.

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Stephanie Pass says:

    This is an interesting idea. I would write a thank you to my husband's first wife. She cheated on and dumped an amazing guy.

  2. Esther Wilson says:

    I would write a thank you not to people who have judged me before getting to know me. I see what it felt like and try not to judge before I get to know someone.

  3. I was interested in the title of your post so I clicked. I was bullied for a few years by an older girl in school. Even til this day (I know it sounds ridiculous) but I still have that moment of “oh no there she is” I would hope she’s changed after all these years, especially having kids of her own. I think being in that situation those gives me more empathy for others so I guess that would be something to be thankful for

  4. I have done the same thing. As a blogger, I started with tye mentality that not everyone is going to like what I have to say. I just can’t please everyone but I do have the power to delete their nasty gram from my blog if needed. So far it’s worked. :)

  5. Katrina Gehman says:

    very interesting. i didn't read the initial post so i'm sure exactly what happened but it seems that you have handled it very well.

  6. Rebecca Swenor says:

    What a great post. I would write a Thank You to my sister and her three kids. They show me what I don't want to be and what I know I was at times. thanks for sharing. It is about putting yourself in others shoes and to change. Life is all about lessons . Thanks for sharing.

  7. Fathima SYEDALI says:

    Very different article. I never consider anyone as my worst enemy & I should thank God for that. Some times, bad issues gives a good way and a new hope to our life, though it hurts initially. And the happiest thing is you find your self.

  8. Hmmm, write a thank you note to somebody that you least like. There are several people. I think my main one would be to the woman my husband had an affair with and left his family for. I would thank her for taking him off my hands and allowing me to find myself again and find a man that treats me like a Queen.

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