Sad about love :-(

I feel a little sad and hopeless about love this morning.

Dan_the_Man submitted a great comment last night. He said:

Short, sweet, and beautifully stated. I was talking to a friend about how all this stuff just comes from within.

The example I gave him is: Suppose you’re watching a movie on on your wall, using a projector, and on the picture you see a fingerprint smudge, that’s affecting your enjoyment off the whole movie.

When you try to move around all the outside factors in your life, ruminate, develop a theory, and change your actions up, you’re basically spraying some cleaner on the wall and trying to get that large fingerprint off the movie picture. This can literally take decades of your time, trying to wipe off that smudge.

All you ever really needed to do is go to the projector and clean the lens. Then the picture would come out just fine, like it was meant to. Sure your wall will get a bit shinier from all the work you’re doing on it, but you won’t get sizable results until you go to the source.

It’s so true. It’s all perception, so if something is not going the way we want it to, we need to clean up our inside rather than focus on the outside.

And then I started feeling sad. Cuz sometimes it seems like no matter how much I clean up the lens, there’s still too much left of the fingerprint. Sure, things have improved dramatically. My life is five hundred times better than three years ago when I had my near-death experience.

I’m just worried that no man can ever really reach me. Even if he gets part way in, I’m likely to get scared and shut down and not let him in the rest of the way. I’m likely to “project” something bad happening, which gives me an excuse to bail before he even has a chance to bail. It can start so wonderful, but wouldn’t it be nice if it finished wonderful also?

I’m worried that I wrapped barbed wire around my heart a long time ago to protect myself, and that no matter how much I try to set my heart free, maybe it’s never going to be enough. And I’m worried that my man isn’t going to be able to reach me.

Which feels really sad. :-(

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. The Petros says:

    I think that I have higher standards that most of guys + I love freedom so for me its hard to find girl with who I can become close on psychological and spiritual level and I found some(ehm one) I don't want to start relationship right now with here because I love freedom and I want to meet other woman too so I have these two values which are fighting with each other.


  2. Thanks for the comment, Restless Mind, and welcome to the blog.

    I am a coach who admits that she is not yet perfect, which every coach would admit if he/she were honest with self and others.

    This means I know what I am able to help with and what I'm not able to help with …

    For example, a couple weeks ago, I used Emotional Freedom Technique in field to help a

  3. Restless Mind says:

    Thanks for the invite Erika. I'm a bit confused. I read your profile and then this post and some others. You're relationship coach and yet having trouble with your personal issues? Just want clarification. :)

  4. Thank you for the comments, guys. I feel inspired and uplifted by them. Thank you :-)

  5. Michael says:

    Now that post right there … those last couple paragraphs right there …

    now that's frikkin beautiful.

  6. GoneSavage says:

    I sometimes think of my current situation as a spiritual "Before They Were Stars,"… @11:49

    After all, you can't see the stars when the sun is out… @11:49

    Coincidence or phenomenon? ;-)


  7. Maybe the problem is that we're simply forgetting that we are tens. Not that we're not tens.

  8. GoneSavage says:

    "Even if he gets part way in, I'm likely to get scared and shut down and not let him in the rest of the way."

    Maybe it's just the sexfiend in me, but I think this is revealing… ;-)

    I'm reminded that clarity is like driving your car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you eventually make your whole trip that way…


  9. The closer I get to enlightenment, the more regrets of past choices and events vanish away.

    All that remains is one regret: "I wish I had let myself love and enjoy my unenlightened times."

    Wherever you are on your path, is where you're supposed to be right now. You are constantly evolving, and your higher self, for whatever reason, has you where you are.

  10. Doug Lance says:

    When you meet the right man, you wont have a choice.

  11. Dan_Brodribb says:

    I feel this way sometimes also. No matter how far I come, there is still part of me that sees myself as the little kid who was so shy, he would wet his pants than raise his hand to ask to go to the bathroom.

    I think your feelings are normal. I know for myself, I spent so much time working on "improving myself" that when negative emotions came up, I was always frustrated that

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