Lol, one of the things I’ve always loved about the non-violent communication (NVC) community is its sense of humor …

After enjoying an algae-free spa bath tonight (mostly due to assertiveness skills that I learned through extensive NVC training), I found a priceless article by Kelly Bryson called Perfecting Your Selfishness. It’s actually an excerpt from his NVC-inspired book, which I love and highly recommend, called Don’t Be Nice, Be Real.

Anyway, I loved these “Mottos for Perfecting Your Selfishness” and wanted to share:

Some mottos to help you “Perfect Your Selfishness”:

• Me first and only in every situation at all times.
• Ask for 100% of what you want 100% of the time and be prepared to empathize with any response.
• Never listen to one more word than you want to hear from anyone.
• You never have to answer anyone’s questions because you are not on trial.
• Never do anything to prevent others from freaking out.
• Trust that all your needs are gifts to other people.
• Present your needs like you were Santa Claus passing out gifts. “Ho, ho, ho you luck dog, you get to dance with me, if you’d like”

– Kelly Bryson