Here’s another photo from the albums I was browsing through last night. I was sitting on my then-boyfriend’s bed, and he wanted to capture this pose. I love this photo because it’s very “me” in a way that is not easy to explain in words.
This past year has been a very solitary one for me, by choice. I withdrew from most of the social activities that I once engaged in, including speaking engagements. It was my intuition that led me to seek solitude. My values were just not matching up anymore with any of the available social activities. And I needed the peace and quiet to get a lot more clarity about my own belief system and the collective unconscious belief systems. I am grateful during this time that I had my loyal clients and customers because they at least understand my vision. I am also deeply grateful that, in spite of the fact that I did not feel very motivated — especially the past few months — to work on my business or recruit new clients and customers, the Universe has provided for me anyway. On track to make about $400,000 this year. Less than my original goal of seven figures but very generous considering that my attention was diverted away from business for much of the year.
Now, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the Holistic Belief Reprogramming videos I’ve been recording seem to be gravitating back toward the physical world. There were the Fritz the Cat healing videos, of course. But I also did the 30-Day Health, Fitness & Beauty Challenge, lost some pounds myself … and now I am feeling drawn back toward the sensual and the intimate and the social.
I’m not rushing it, though. As I looked through all those photographs and remembered the vast array of adventures I have had in this lifetime, I smiled and felt a lot of joy in it. Lots of really fun memories with some really good friends. And yet, at the same time, I know I am not going back there. Those roads had their moments of happiness but were not ultimately satisfying. I am now creating something new. “Beyond this world there is a world I want.”
My inner guidance has been telling me for a long time that the reason I am here is to bring Heaven to Earth. It’s not enough to become “super spiritual” and drift off into the astral realms. That’s not why I’m here. I’m here to take the vast life experience that I have, and all the dead ends and tragic outcomes that I know are built into this world, and realign all of it. People love cliches like “you can’t have the good without the bad.” I don’t believe that is true. I am here to remove all the bad so that life can become a pure experience of joy.
That probably sounds “crazy” to some people. In the world of duality, all most people can imagine are the spectrum of pleasure and pain. That doesn’t mean that’s all there is. And I’ve had enough experience now with transcending dualities and finding stable joy that I know it’s possible to accomplish this in all areas of life.
Right now I’m just being with the peace and quiet and listening for further guidance.
Love,
Erika Awakening, High Priestess of Miracles at TAPsmarter
Beautiful pictures of yourself Erika. I too believe that I’m here in some way to bring Heaven to Earth, probably slightly different than your purpose but we all serve a different purpose. Great post.
Thank you my friend! :)
How was your relationship with Mark not a special relationship? You want his commitment. By nature then it was and will be a special relationship if he comes back.
It’s a fair question. A special relationship is an exclusive relationship maintained for the “private interests” of the two people involved, and is always of the ego. A holy relationship is an open, non-monogamous relationship whose purpose is to save the world. The two have nothing in common, and I have no interest in a special relationship with Mark.
What the F!!!!!!! I wanna read more about Mr. PostExcusePeddler!!! I’ve been tappin’ away in hopes he makes amends and realizes true love and happiness with the goddess of miracles!
ERIKA! Where’s parts 2 & 3 of the Mark saga????
I dunno, Dom. I may have got this out of my system. I’m feeling pretty peaceful.
Look, Mark PostMasculine is making a huge mistake with this monogamy thing. It’s a dead end, and it will lead him nowhere good.
But I’m making the same mistake if I sit around with a wounded ego thinking I have to make up for a past that was just an illusion anyway. It’s all this special relationship ego reenactment thing, a bunch of ego bullshit. As much bullshit as monogamy is. I was not ready to move on before. I needed to fulfill my own need to be heard and understood. Maybe I am ready to move on now.
“I place the future in the hands of God.”
When you feel a deep sense of inner peace, you can be pretty darn sure that you’ve made a spiritual choice vs ego. The special relationship is definitely a whole lot of ego based BS! Relationships don’t exist, only relating does. Relating occurs in the present moment and present moment awareness is like kryptonite to the ego. You can be joyous (higher self) or you can be right (ego self) peace <3
True, it’s about presence. For me, it’s also about stabilizing perception. For example, I would not have invested so much in creating my beautiful home if I did not have faith in its continuity and stability. Agreements and honoring our word allow us to co-create with other people in a stable and enduring way. Which is what I want in a partnership. I have seen too many people justify what I consider to be unethical and non-life-serving behavior using the idea that “it’s all about the moment.” (For example, my recent articles about my ex.)
Hey, I’m with you Erika! I’m all for keeping agreements, honoring our word, co-creating in a stable and enduring way, etc. … The challenge is, the ego will like to preclude those things in partnership. When we experience our connection to the higher self, we are not prone to participating in unethical and non-life-serving behavior. Such behavior is the trademark of ego consciousness. There is no presence in ego consciousness. The person is merely using the illusion of the “moment” as a means-to-an-end, a steppingstone to some future moment that offers greater promise. He or she is not present and suffering will result – as you described in your recent articles about your ex. Just sayin’ :)
Here’s the passage from A Course in Miracles:
VII. The End of Illusions
It is impossible to let the past go without relinquishing the special relationship. For the special relationship is an attempt to re-enact the past and change it. Imagined slights, remembered pain, past disappointments, perceived injustices and deprivations all enter into the special relationship, which becomes a way in which you seek to restore your wounded self-esteem. What basis would you have for choosing a special partner without the past? Every such choice is made because of something “evil” in the past to which you cling, and for which must someone else atone.
The special relationship takes vengeance on the past. By seeking to remove suffering in the past, it overlooks the present in its preoccupation with the past and its total commitment to it. No special relationship is experienced in the present. Shades of the past envelop it, and make it what it is. It has no meaning in the present, and if it means nothing now, it cannot have any real meaning at all. How can you change the past except in fantasy? And who can give you what you think the past deprived you of? The past is nothing. Do not seek to lay the blame for deprivation on it, for the past is gone. You cannot really not let go what has already gone. It must be, therefore, that you are maintaining the illusion that it has not gone because you think it serves some purpose that you want fulfilled. And it must also be that this purpose could not be fulfilled in the present, but only in the past.
Do not underestimate the intensity of the ego’s drive for vengeance on the past. It is completely savage and completely insane. For the ego remembers everything you have done that has offended it, and seeks retribution of you. The fantasies it brings to its chosen relationships in which to act out its hate are fantasies of your destruction. For the ego holds the past against you, and in your escape from the past it sees itself deprived of the vengeance it believes you so justly merit. Yet without your alliance in your own destruction, the ego could not hold you to the past. In the special relationship you are allowing your destruction to be. That this is insane is obvious. But what is less obvious is that the present is useless to you while you pursue the ego’s goal as its ally.
The past is gone; seek not to preserve it in the special relationship that binds you to it, and would teach you salvation is past and so you must return to the past to find salvation. There is no fantasy that does not contain the dream of retribution for the past. Would you act out the dream, or let it go?
In the special relationship it does not seem to be an acting out of vengeance that you seek. And even when the hatred and the savagery break briefly through, the illusion of love is not profoundly shaken. Yet the one thing the ego never allows to reach awareness is that the special relationship is the acting out of vengeance on yourself. Yet what else could it be? In seeking the special relationship, you look not for glory in yourself. You have denied that it is there, and the relationship becomes your substitute for it. And vengeance becomes your substitute for Atonement, and the escape from vengeance becomes your loss.
Against the ego’s insane notion of salvation the Holy Spirit gently lays the holy instant. We said before that the Holy Spirit must teach through comparisons, and uses opposites to point to truth. The holy instant is the opposite of the ego’s fixed belief in salvation through vengeance for the past. In the holy instant it is understood that the past is gone, and with its passing the drive for vengeance has been uprooted and has disappeared. The stillness and the peace of now enfold you in perfect gentleness. Everything is gone except the truth.
Dom, did you see the next installment?
On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, “Is it safe?” Expediency asks the question, “Is it politic?” And Vanity comes along and asks the question, “Is it popular?” But Conscience asks the question “Is it right?” And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
That time has come. I will not be silenced. The Divine Feminine has arisen.
https://erikaawakening.com/epic-fail-email-from-mark-postmasculine/