Goldilocks and the Three PUAs – Part I

A little self-amusing PUA fairytale …

Goldilocks was a sweet girl. Objectively, she was about a 7.25 on the HB ten-point scale. A little chubby and a little plain. But being blonde, she got an extra two points from Savoy. :-p … So she considered herself a 9.25, which, truth be told, every woman should.

One day, Goldilocks was innocently minding her own business, wearing a little red-checked pinafore and bonnet, when she came upon three PUAs in a meadow.

The first PUA, having been taught the three-second rule, immediately approached her.

“You should come with us to Mel’s Diner,” he said.

Goldilocks was taken aback by his abrupt approach. She was a little shy and, although in truth she didn’t have a boyfriend, she immediately said to PUA #1, “oh, I have a boyfriend.” PUA #1 was dejected and said “oh I’m sorry” and walked away.

Meanwhile, PUA #2, having been taught the “too cool for school” form of pickup, practiced active disinterest and didn’t show the slightest interest in Goldilocks. She concluded that he was arrogant and ignored him.

Now, PUA #3, observing all of this, remembered the Zan seminar he’d been to a year earlier.

He walked up to Goldilocks. “You said you have a boyfriend. I understand. And we’d still love to spend the day with you. Come with us to Mel’s Diners.”

“Well,” (demurely) “I don’t know if I should,” replied Goldilocks.

“Of course you shouldn’t. We are three PUAs,” said PUA #3. “I understand, and you’re still invited.”

Goldilocks felt intrigued by this PUA #3. PUA #1’s approach was too abrupt. PUA #2’s approach was non-existent. But PUA #3’s approach was just right :-) So — even though she was very scared of PUAs, and for good reason — she said, “Well, ok, I suppose there’s no harm in going to Mel’s Diner. I just want you to know that nothing’s going to happen between us.”

“I understand,” said PUA #3, “and you’re still invited.”

So Goldilocks and the three PUAs set off for Mel’s Diner.

“Dude,” said PUA #1 to PUA #3, “you totally pulled her. How did you do that?” PUA #3 just smiled.

(To be continued … lol :-)

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. Thanks for the translation, TQuid!

    hmmm… maybe they thought Goldilocks needed a wedding ceremony consultant. But it’s way too early in the story! ;-)

    Spam or no spam, I appreciate you letting me know …

  2. Erika,

    According to, using “Simplified Chinese to English”:

    “This family wedding ceremony Consultant firm very specialized!”

    In other words, spam. If only it were something more interesting!

  3. I’m trying to align my thoughts, feelings and actions…but I’m wondering if I have unresourceful feelings will they continue to follow along this pattern or will my congruence force them to become more resourceful?

  4. All right, this is about the fifth or sixth comment I’ve received in what appears to be, what, Chinese? I hope it doesn’t say anything defamatory. I have no idea what any of the five or six comments say.

    Lol :-)

    Any trustworthy translators out there?

  5. Anonymous says:


  6. Guys, it’s just a spoof ;-)

    Change from 6.25 to 7.25 cuz technically Savoy claims to give only two extra points for blondeness … but frankly I think it may be more like three or four.

    Lol :-)

    I am a mischief maker.

  7. Hey Erika what’s up?
    can you give your opinion or expirience with “charisma arts” (“Juggler”‘s company?)
    I would really like to hear what you
    have to say about them.
    by the way I liked the idea of making
    a pick up artists “grown ups” fairytale :P

    you should make a spoof to snowhite :P you can have than 7 examples XD

  8. Anonymous says:

    Oh… geez… beautiful memory?! By the time she's had 400 of more lovers she won't be able to remember diddly!

    Let's see how the mental and energetic pendulum swings on this one…

    Will he play her like a stradivarius, while the other 2 try gaming?

    How about Goldilocks calls 2 of her friends and they all go out for a romantic interlude under the

  9. Anonymous says:

    whatever system works for whatever pua is what they should use doesnt matter if its direct or indirect or natural whatever works for them is what they should use im sure the other 2 arent freakin out that they lost a chick

  10. Anonymous says:

    Why the change from 6.25 to 7.25?

  11. lol

  12. If #3 follows his teachings it would be nothing but a beautiful memory to be for them both.

  13. Anonymous says:

    ah HA! We finally get to the mind bending techniques used to sway a girl this way and that way… the female mind, understood by PUAs… it makes me long for Penn. Dutch Country… where you marry young, to the ugly or beautiful and you marry for life! and make apple butter… and sleep and bath in your long underwear… and as far as we know, these people report being extremely happy and

  14. I like the fairy tale! :)
    It’s creative how you showed the different styles in the community and how they work in real life…I’m a fan of #3 myself… :)

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