I’ve mentioned some of these on RSDN and elsewhere but not yet on the blog. Here are a few things that even confident men could do a whole lot more of:
1. Kino
Early and often. Quite frankly, I’d like to see a whole lot more of kino in the world in general. It feels good to be touched, as long as it’s not in a creepy way. I love hugging and touching with guys and girls. If a guy doesn’t start doing a lot of kino pretty early on in our interaction, it all feels very platonic to me. If you’re in a restaurant sitting across the table from each other, that small distance can feel like being lightyears away from each other. Take her hand across the table. Go sit with her on the little bench. It’s so cozy and romantic. Touch her hair, touch her hand, touch the small of her back. I love it when confident guys know to do these things.
I want to live in a kino world.
2. Sexy imagery
I often tell the guys on RSDN that she needs to be getting intimate with you in her imagination long before you ever “pull” her to a private location. Get playful with it. When a guy is obviously having fun getting me all heated up, it’s a huge turn on. What I’m talking about is along the lines of “let me tell you, little girlie, all the sexy things I’m going to be doing to you later on in the evening.”
3. Leading
This starts with the very first date or interaction, when you set the plan and begin getting compliance from her. A feminine girl enjoys following your lead. It’s important to remember this later on in dating her, too, though. Once she has become very vulnerable with you, she’s going to be looking to you even more to take the lead. If you like her, I suggest quickly setting up follow-up dates to keep the momentum going. Don’t make her guess too much. Without some structure, a girl who has become vulnerable to you (especially after sex) is likely to feel like she is kind of hanging out there, and she may withdraw. This is easily addressed by always having a date set up with her and by continuing to lead in your texts, emails, and phone calls.
Erica, if I could make a list of the things I DIDN’T do with the last woman I was interested in, it would have looked like your list here. And then I wondered why I didn’t get a response from my email!
Quick,
If you were writing this blog, it’d be a bla-g.
Sorry, that was really awful but I couldn’t resist.
Seriously tho …. Quick should just be flattered that I used his name in the headline ;-)
not quick at all. quick is like a one-liner. sorry but I dont even read this. and thats not a neg i dont use rsd shit. your post should have been like this..
1. bla ————————-
2. bla
3. bla
4. bla
5. bla
have a nice day folks!
erika.
~quick
I wholeheartedly agree with all of this. It’s important that if you do not want to be “just friends” with the person of your desire, then it is important to set that tone and set it as early as possible. Touching and building rapport are great ways to let her know that you are interested in something more than just a base friendship.
Sexual innuendos and flirting are simple things that will let anyone know what kind of humor and imagination you have – two things that are very attractive to women.
And being a leader is self-explanatory. If you aren’t leader, you are a follower. And followers have much less control of their reality than leaders. Leaders make things happen and women want to see that you can make it happen – whatever “it” happens to be.
If we live in a world of our own design…and you want to live in a kino world…wouldn’t then you be making kino more available and doing more yourself?
Or in doing more yourself, taking that initiative, would you feel yourself as robbing the guy of his role, ever-blurring that boundary between what you and he are best aligned to do?
And….If a guy does it, it’s kino. But if a girl does it, is it a handjob? Does it need a distinction at all?