Attraction is not physical … it’s a “vibe” thing …

Hi everyone,

Phew … things have been feeling soooo busy lately. My brother is getting married this weekend, my coaching schedule is really full, Vegas Guy and I are talking about getting married and starting a whole new life together (if you’re curious how he and I met, you can read the whole series here, and I told my supervisor at work that I’m planning to quit my day job. PUA Summit is coming up in a few weeks (get your tix here), and I need to plan my speech and my travel. All told, that is a LOT on my plate right now :)

Meanwhile, I’m also doing my best to continue giving you lots of great articles and newsletters (if you are not subscribed yet to my Insider Newsletter, make sure to sign up now in the little box in the right-hand side bar of this blog) …

It’s no wonder I feel a teensy bit overwhelmed. And yet I also feel SUPER happy, for lots of reasons, one of which is that I keep getting feedback like this from my clients (all of these after just ONE session):

“I have done a lot of therapy over the past couple of years (EFT, emoto-somatic release, talk therapies of various kinds, CBT) but one session with you has had a profound healing effect that none of the others modalities achieved.”

– Lisa

“I’ve FINALLY had success doing the direct daytime approaches [of women] that I had been so frustrated about lately.”

– Donald

“Addressing the things we did during the session gave me some weird/intense power & ability to go out solo and approach every set [of women] in the five bars I went to and get amazing results. I had no idea your session would have been that intense and helpful.”

– Tim

If getting feedback like that isn’t a great reason to celebrate, I don’t know what is …


So today is going to be a very short, but very important, insight … and an insight that will be comforting for all those who thought they were told old, too young, too short, too tall, too skinny, too chubby, to attract the man or woman of their dreams …

Because the TRUTH is that attraction and love have almost NOTHING to do with superficial factors …

Attraction is a VIBE thing.

I talk about this a lot in the speeches I give around the country. You will hear another example of this when my 21 Convention speech footage comes out next month. I tell guys why what they do and what they say has almost NOTHING to do with whether they are going to get the girl, because she got a “gut feeling” or “intuition” about him before he even opened his mouth … A man’s entire belief system is communicated by his vibe, and women are going to be attracted or repulsed accordingly.

Well, it works the SAME WAY for women who want to attract the right man.

Let me give you an example. Last night, Vegas Guy (from the 8-part series that you can catch up on here) called me. He was out at a club and surrounded by beautiful 20- to 22-year old women. Now, if you read the series of articles that I wrote about how he seduced me, you know that Vegas Guy can basically have nearly ANY WOMAN he wants. He really is THAT GOOD with women.

What he said last night though just touched my heart so deeply. He said he called me because (and I’m paraphrasing the gist of what he said during our phone conversation):

“I’m standing here at a club, and I’m surrounded by beautiful 21-year old women, and all I can think about is you. You have pretty hair and pretty eyes, but there are lots of girls here with pretty hair and pretty eyes. That’s not what attracts me to you. I see them all around me, and I do feel attracted sometimes, but I don’t want to do anything. There’s no desire. I don’t know what has happened to me since I met you. This has never happened before. I haven’t been with any other woman since we met. I only want you underneath me. It just makes me realize that connection isn’t really about the body. It’s something else.”

Yeah, exactly … it IS something else …
and that is going to be the focus of this next blog series, “Why Knowing What to Do is Not Enough,” when I can carve out some time to start writing the articles …

Please stay tuned … I appreciate your patience :)

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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  1. geekchick says:


    What is there to think about it? Are you going to limit your dating options to someone who picks you up? Or do you want to be selective yourself and pick out someone that you find hot and that would be good for you? How is a guy going to know that you are interested in him if you don’t ever show it?

    This isn’t the 50s. If you want someone, tell him. What’s the worst that can happen? That he says no. You never know, you might find yourself the love of your life that way!

  2. Hello Erika,
    Heck yeah it’s all about the VIBES! I totally agree that “knowing” what to do is never enough.
    Knowledge can be a good thing, but it can’t hold a candle to instinct and emotions!
    There’s a book I like “The Voice Of Knowledge” that elaborates on this…
    Margaret: here’s MY take on women expressing interest first, I say GO FOR IT. If the dude can’t handle it, it’s his loss

  3. Hey Erika,

    Just have one quick question…not sure if this is the right place to ask but I wanted your take on Women expresing interest first in men.


  4. LOL. So what you are saying is that you are trying to “fix” others?

    • Erika Awakening says:

      No dear, it sounds like that is your projection … this is a coaching website, supporting a coaching business. It’s an invitation to support people who are looking for help to heal their life or step more fully into their power. I can help people heal themselves, when they are ready for that, and I usually wait for them to let me know that. Everything else I offer here is on a take it or leave it basis. I give my best wisdom, it’s up to you what you want to make of it … as is true for every interaction you have in life.

  5. Why do i get the impression that you’re trying to “fix” me. LOL

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hmm, I don’t know, Brian. That surely is not my conscious intention.

      My conscious intention is to discuss the points you raised about your ex-girlfriend and, because I’m aware that others are also reading our conversation, to provide additional information about my system for sorting out ego and Higher Self for anyone who is interested …

      What do you think?

  6. Yeah, but don’t you find that sometimes you aren’t really tuned into another person’s true emotional wavelength, because you have your preconceived ideas and beliefs about a certain person or people, that mask your ESP?
    For example, an ex-girlfriend of mine used to say her girlfriends were her best friends and that she knew what they were feeling or thinking psychically. Yet, i noticed a lot of the times, when one of her girlfriends would just say something with the intention of being nice and helpful, my ex would interpret it as her friend trying to think she’s above her and then she would put her down in subtle ways, to make herself look better. She clearly had issues with women in her life. Unfortunately, I see this a lot with women who try to unconsciously compete with each other. Instead of encouraging and caring for each other, they subtly or not so subtly put each other down. It’s sad erika.

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hi Brian,

      Yes, that is sad. What I hear you talking about, though, is the difference between connection and projection. The ego projects, intuition connects. They are two totally different things. The simplest way to tell the difference is that intuition is non-judgmental. Competition is of the ego. Interpretation of other people’s motives tends to be of the ego also.

      In my 15-week intensive Miracle coaching program (, I teach people an entire system for being able to filter between the voice of the ego and the voice of intuition. Only the intuition is reliable. All the remaining ego stuff is just noise to be released through Holistic Belief Reprogramming.

      Make sense?

  7. I agree with women awakened on this. I don’t think the computer or any distance in space, can separate our connection with each other. As for spiritual elitism, i think it becomes pompous and judgmental when you think your beliefs, ideas and methods are the ONLY way to salvation.

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Thanks, Brian, for your comment. And, yes, I agree. Connection transcends the illusion of space and time. That’s why people who tap in to the emotional wavelength can connect with anyone, anywhere, creating the phenomenon of “psychic powers.” The more we develop these skills, the easier life becomes :)

  8. womenawakened says:

    In response to Brenda…Emails, phone calls and profiles cannot prevent you from sensing someone’s vibe. The only thing that prevents us from that, is not being being completely tuned into ourselves. For most people, their subtle feelings are clouded over by the incessant chatter inside their minds.

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hey Brenda,

      Yes, I agree with WomenAwakened about this … I can feel people’s vibe even from emails that they send me … without ever having met them in person … and I can teach other people to read vibes also … the way people use language is a very reliable indicator of where they are on the scale of consciousness.

      Now, that said, everything in my coaching system is designed to eliminate judgment, hierarchies, and “rankings.” So I am careful about how I teach these skills. The intention always is to loosen judgments, not provide another basis for judging. There are few things more nauseating than a spiritual elitist, right? ;)

  9. I agree that attraction is a vibe thing. My question is then doesn’t that mean online dating is lame because how can you sense someone’s vibe thru a profile, emails, and phone calls? It still means sifting through a bunch of people on dates, in order to sense their vibe.

    I know you said you don’t seek men online. I just find it hard to find SINGLE men when I’m out and about, altho that would be my preferable way to meet them.

    I enjoy your website! I feel so happy for you in your relationship with Vegas Man! Love, Brenda

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