So I’ve got marriage talks going on several fronts. It’s funny, it ends up looking like another form of flirting. Talking about marriage is a lot like talking about sex, it works best when it’s playful and light. It’s just another form of dancing, with each person taking another step in a direction and seeing how it feels.

But all this has definitely got me in a contemplative mood.

I always wanted a fairytale wedding. With the beautiful white dress and an incredibly romantic location. I imagined it being a lavish party, with all my friends from every area of my life. With fancy wine and food, a delight for the senses.

And now … I dunno … that image feels a little passe. It doesn’t resonate with me the way it once did.

Don’t get me wrong, I still want that lovely diamond and platinum engagement ring. But the big, plan-it-for-six-months-to-a-year, stress endlessly, get the whole family involved, traditional “celebration” somehow feels now like … I dunno, overkill. It feels like money that could be better spent elsewhere.

Oh, that reminds me of the Sex and the City movie. Yeah, I’m feeling kind of like that, that the little City Hall ceremony would feel better to me now. It would feel lighter and less like a tribute to ego and inflated expectations.

Or maybe having a big party, but instead of having the focus be on the two people getting married, which somehow now feels very heavy to me … have the focus be on something about their life purpose. A huge party and celebration devoted to awakening and healing. A party devoted to everyone who attends instead of only the two people.

Anyway, it feels intriguing to realize how much my feelings have changed about all this.