I’m very fired up to write this article. Mainly because I’ve been meaning to write it for a while and because I think it can be a huge contribution to the many guys I’m meeting in this community who have horribly screwed-up and debilitating limiting beliefs about money.
Even from guys who have transcended their limiting beliefs about women, and who are really gifted teachers of seduction, just this week I’ve heard the following statements:
“I get so stressed out about money that I run away from my bills.”
“I can’t afford a plane ticket.” [to a seduction conference where he is a speaker]
“I can’t afford a plane ticket.” [to see a girl]
“I’m in debt and don’t see any way out of it.”
“I don’t think women would pay money for this teaching.”
“I teach English in a low-income country, so $100 is pretty steep for me.”
“I can’t afford to be chivalrous. I don’t like to go to restaurants with women because I get stressed out thinking they will expect me to pay.”
“You are a slave, Neo.” – the Matrix
Folks, when we live and breathe with these sorts of beliefs, we are living in slavery. Money, like love, is an energy that is meant to be abundant and ever-flowing. If it is not abundant in our lives, we can look to our beliefs to discover what blocks we have.
If the above statements sound like you, those blocks and limiting beliefs are stopping you from living the life of your dreams. Find those blocks and erase them. Use Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) like crazy until all the blocks are gone. I will show you how.
Remember Jesus with the fish and loaves that he multiplied to feed the crowds. With EFT it is possible to manifest financial abundance much as Jesus manifested fishes and loaves. I am not joking.
Thus, this article is dedicated to my many friends in the community who are wonderfully seductive with women but suck when it comes to money.
Let’s get started. :-)
One Woman’s Perspective on Money and Men
First, though, I want to share a little bit about my perspective on money and men. I view myself as having a good relationship with money. I’m not super wealthy, but I always have enough to pay the bills. If I want something, I can generally find a way to afford it. I have no unsecured debt, a nice place to live, a nice car, and I can go out whenever I want.
This is somewhat remarkable, because I did not grow up with money. My parents had little, and my mom was a compulsive spender who squandered what little we did have. But I formed a very empowering belief as a little girl: I vowed that as soon as I grew up, I would always have enough money so that I would never have to *worry* about money. The key point being that I wanted ease and flow around money.
And now? My social circles are affluent, mostly professionals. I had a sugar daddy. In the past couple of years, I also had several multimillionaires who wanted to marry me.
Why didn’t I marry any of them? Because money is not enough. I crave the deep connection and shared life purpose that draws me to the seduction community.
At the same time, the deep connection and shared life purpose aren’t enough either. I want both — the ability to connect deeply AND the ability to live and enjoy a life together that is abundant in every way. That, for me, is the Holy Grail. That will be the man I marry.
I see many guys in the community who are super successful with women but have neglected their own financial abundance. They use their ability with women almost as a crutch, relying on women to support them financially.
The problem with that? I (and many other high self-esteem women) just do not respect a man who lives beholden to his limiting beliefs. Why be abundant with women and scarce with money? It makes no sense to me. There is some deeper issue going on. What I find, also, is that most of these men deep down do not respect themselves, either. And they often end up despising the women who are willing to pay their way. A deep part of these men longs to be financially abundant, to be able to provide for the woman or women in their lives. Which isn’t going to happen, as long as they remain financially dependent on women.
Once upon a time, I would write these men off as “fatally flawed.” Now I understand that their scarcity beliefs are a call for healing. I won’t pay their way. That would only be enabling them to continue these patterns. Instead, I offer the most powerful tool I’ve ever discovered for erasing limiting beliefs: Emotional Freedom Technique. More on that in a bit …
Money and the Seduction Community
I see a lot of guys in the community who have terrible, terrible beliefs about money. They complain about it constantly. There are guys on BKRS who will whine endlessly about $20 they spent on an e-book. Seriously? You have no better way to spend your time than to worry about $20 you spent three years ago?
These guys do not understand that every time they say “I can’t afford that” or “that was a waste of money,” every time they swipe an e-book off the internet without paying for it, they are reinforcing a scarcity mindset and attracting into their lives more scarcity.
Even worse, they guys talk openly about swiping e-books for free off the internet. I cannot emphasize enough that stealing will always lead to impoverishment. This is because any time a person thinks they need to “take” something because they “can’t afford it,” they are communicating to their own subconscious mind how poor they are, and their subconscious mind will obey by having other people take from them, and by making their poor. It’s not worth it, guys. You CAN afford the $20.
“If you choose to take a thing from someone else, you will have nothing left. This is because, when you deny his right to everything, you have denied your own.” – ACIM
The $40K I spent to get here
It shocks me when I hear people say they are not willing to, for example, pay $100/hour for relationship coaching or $100 for an audio product. Let me tell you why that is shocking to me …
Some people in the community know that I have spent what I would approximate at about $40K in the past few years to get to the point that I can teach EFT, dating, and relationships in an effective way. I’m not going back through my receipts, but here are some examples of estimates of what I’ve spent:
$3000 on tuition, travel, and other expenses to attend an International Non-Violent Communication 10-day training seminar with Marshall Rosenberg
$2500 on Holosync meditation, all 12 levels
$2500 on non-violent communication workshops and practice groups
$1500 on various healers and readers, one of whom turned me on to A Course in Miracles at exactly the right time
$6000 on private relationship coaching
$700 for silent meditation retreat and other work with acclaimed satsang healer Jon Bernie
$2500 for Reiki and to become initiated as a Reiki healer
$4000 on Emotional Freedom Technique sessions, DVDs, and to get advanced certificates as an EFT practitioner
Many thousands of dollars on books, e-books, audio, and video products relating to all of the above, including work by Christian Carter and David DeAngelo.
And the list goes on and on …
Would I take back one single cent of all that? Not that I can think of right now. Sure, some books and products were worthless, but even those I learned from — by learning what NOT to do. The items listed above have — as a whole — brought me happiness that is beyond what I believed was possible … not to mention a whole new exciting life as a blogger. I have received far more fulfillment than if I had put that same money into fancy dinners and clothes or other material things.
Plus, along the way, I supported a slew of teachers and healers who would not be able to offer the work they are offering if someone were not stepping up and supporting them financially …
So I feel great about it all around … and now finally the current is starting to reverse, and people are now paying me for my teaching and healing offered to them.
It’s the Divine Give and Take.
I have found that the more willingly I spend money, the more the Universe seems to send money back in my direction.
I also do not share the belief that many seem to have that it is somehow “unspiritual” to have financial abundance. In my view, God wants us to be fully abundant in all areas of our life. Any form of scarcity is a denial of what we really are: pure, infinite, all-powerful Consciousness. Any form of scarcity is a manifestation of the ego.
That’s why I’m making it one of my life purposes to eliminate scarcity in every form.
How Emotional Freedom Technique Can Be Used to Create Financial Abundance
So the key of Emotional Freedom Technique and the other spiritual practices on this blog is not to limit our spending (which is constricting by its very nature), but rather to expand our financial abundance.
You can learn the basic recipe of EFT for free on Gary Craig’s website.
Once you have learned how to do EFT, I would recommend the following steps:
1. Write out your Ultimate Truth Statement.
This means, write out what your intention is, if you could have whatever you wanted. Don’t make it too “realistic.” An example would be “I choose to make $1 million gross in the next 12 months.”
2. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
For most people, once they articulate an Ultimate Truth Statement, a bunch of “yeah buts” will immediately arise.
- Yeah, but I can’t make $1 million this year because I’ve never made more than $60K.
- Yeah, but I can’t make $1 million this year because my friends would be jealous.
- Yeah, but I can’t make $1 million this year because I’m a plumber, and plumbers can’t make $1 million because x, y, and z
- Yeah, but I can’t make $1 million this year because then I’d be part of “the System” and paying “the Man”
- And so on. Write down every limiting belief you can think of, every single obstacle between you and that $1 million.
3. Use EFT on your resistance to change
Before tackling the limiting beliefs, do several rounds of EFT on any resistance to change. We use limiting beliefs to help us stay in a comfort zone, so it’s helpful to recognize that limiting beliefs have “secondary benefits.” Really get curious about yourself … this could be stuff like:
- Even though I’m resisting change in this area of my life because I don’t want to make $1 million because my parents would like that, and I’m pissed off at my parents and don’t want to please them …
4. Use EFT on every limiting belief that you have identified
- Even though I can’t because … x, y, and z
5. Use EFT on inner conflicts
- Even though part of me wants to make $1 million, but part of me really doesn’t because I believe making money is difficult or unspiritual or more trouble than it’s worth or …
6. Get really, really creative
That subconscious mind can be a really sneaky bastard. A guy may, for example, be holding himself back financially because he’s afraid that women will start to become dependent on him, and he had bad experiences earlier in his life with that.
A professional EFT practitioner can help you find the core beliefs that are sabotaging you in this area of your life. A good practitioner is like a good detective, with highly tuned intuition and a very good sense of how belief systems function.
7. Focus on clearing the oldest stuff you can find
EFT is most effective when used on early childhood memories and really old core beliefs. Usually newer stuff is built on the old stuff, so the farther back in time we go, the more likely it is that clearing the emotional heft from one incident (say, for example, a guy’s family was evicted from their home when he was four years old, or his dad went to prison for stealing, etc.) will make a big difference NOW.
Let me know how this goes for you.
If you get stuck and need help, I am a professional EFT practitioner, so please contact me at email@example.com.
EFT is one of the few things in life that truly “pays for itself” based on the financial abundance that it will help you create.
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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