Well, in spite of all efforts to get this show back on the road again, I find myself back in the space I was in when I went on strike in late October. At an impasse. Which is an invitation for a quantum leap.
I’ve stepped off a lot of hamster wheels. My feminine energy seems to be in full effect. Here are the needs that need to get met:
1. Emotional support: permanent partnership. I don’t want to start over. Someone out there will need to step up to the plate. I’m only interested in investing my energy in relationships that are enduring and deeply connected.
2. Technical/marketing support: I don’t feel called to do the marketing/technical side of this stuff, yet I need this to have a sustainable business. It’s a masculine energy thing. I need a masculine energy guy. My feminine energy wants to write, teach, and do What Is Holistic Belief Reprogramming?. My feminine energy wants a man who will protect and provide for me.
3. Community: I feel distressed by the state of the community right now. It seems to be mired in conflict. Guys are learning how to connect with women from men who often do not have the skills to have deeper relationships. Guys who don’t know how to handle real emotions. What good is it going to do a guy to get phone numbers and even get sex if he still isn’t able to have happy, harmonious relationships? You’ve got gurus who are mega-reactive, mega-judgmental, and deal with conflicts via the “silent treatment.” I’m not judging anyone, but this isn’t working and it feels very painful, so it’s time for me to step back from it and get some perspective.
4. Seduction: My feminine energy still very much wants to be seduced. But only in the context of a super-conscious relationship. This whole “have sex with her and then figure things out” approach doesn’t work long term. I’ve come to realize that the practice of teaching seduction without having an equal commitment to the well-being of the women one is seducing is not something I’m ok with at all. Notwithstanding Neil’s book, this is not a “game.” We are dealing with real live human beings, and under the laws of karma, any pain inflicted on others will boomerang on oneself. We’ve got gurus who think they can escape what they got themselves into by disconnecting and not communicating, but it’s not true. Disconnection doesn’t solve anything. What disconnection does is invite karma to keep revisiting you over and over again until the lesson is finally learned. Yet I don’t see the community teaching people how to stay connected and restore harmony. I’m not sure where this leaves me vis-a-vis the community. I need to step back to get some perspective on this.
It feels like an impasse on a number of fronts. There is no way forward in any direction, which suggests that the only way out of it is some sort of quantum leap. All the efforts I’ve been making feel like more hamster wheeling. I’m going to stop. I don’t really feel like doing any of it anymore. I don’t think the impasse situation is necessarily a “bad” thing, but it doesn’t feel right to me to do things the linear, conventional wisdom way.
It may very well be that all the EFT I’ve been doing has “collapsed” so many old beliefs that it has paved the way for a quantum leap. I don’t know, but it wouldn’t surprise me.
My Erika Awakening Coaching Page will continue as normal. I remain committed to this work and to my clients.
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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