I’m going to write Part 2 of the “Why I don’t like condoms” article.
And I still need to write Part 3 of the Burning Man story.
In the meantime, I’m increasingly pondering whether monogamy — and possibly even commitment — is a defense. Not unlike condoms.
This is coming up because Burning Man Guy and I have been seeing a lot of each other, and we’re considering whether we’re now in an “open” relationship.
The conversations have been fairly humorous.
Him: I’m too wild to be tamed, even by a priestess. Although you’re not doing too bad.
Me: Lol I’m not trying to tame you.
Him: I know. You get me purring tho.
Me: I have enough of my own feelings much less attempt to tame yours.
And later he said: You’re up for an open relationship?
Me: Yes aren’t we both trying to work out this polyamory thing?
Later I said: I don’t see how we could have any kind of non-open relationship cuz I don’t want to put any energy into worrying if you’d be with other women.
We’ll see what happens, but what I’m noticing is how much the idea of monogamy feels like a defense to me. It feels like it creates fear where none was there before.
What, exactly, would I be “protecting” by putting those kinds of rules on another human being? And would I really be protecting anything, or would I just be setting myself up for stress and disappointment?
If Burning Man Guy is utterly free to have sex with whomever he wants, then I don’t need to police what he’s doing. I don’t need to feel that my trust was betrayed if he connects with someone else. It becomes impossible for him to “cheat.” I haven’t created a line, so there’s no line to cross.
“If I defend, I am attacked.”
It’s worth pondering.
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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