We Contain Multitudes – Further Musings About Celibacy and Egoless Sex

Further Musings About Egoless Sex and Celibacy – We Contain Multitudes

Percolating away, and really enjoying all your comments about egoless sex. I’ve always kind of hoped it was a possibility, so I’m open to changing my mind. I like sex, always have. “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” – Walt Whitman.

Or: “Let the competing voices in your head be heard. They are just trying to find their part in a larger, yet-to-be-heard song.” (can’t remember who said that.)

We Contain Multitudes – Walt Whitman

On the other hand, let’s not accept things just because “it’s always been that way.” The mere fact that in this dream we appear to have sex organs, that sex seems to be a part of “who we are as humans,” that human relationships have tended to follow a certain model, etc., is not a good enough justification for me.

A Course in Miracles says: “To learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold. Not one can be kept hidden and obscure but it will jeopardize your learning. No belief is neutral. Every one has the power to dictate each decision you make.”

Lest anyone think I am merely a “rote quoter” of this book (thanks, Red Leader, for raising that), doesn’t it make sense to question our beliefs? Our collective current beliefs have led to a world of suffering and mayhem. All you need to do is look at the headlines. I for one would like to see a future very much unlike the past. And the only way to get there is to change our minds right now, in the present. I’ve already seen so many things that seemed immutable change in the past couple of years — and almost always for the better.

Celibacy, by the way, has not been a sacrifice for me. There is tremendous freedom in it. It’d be different probably if I didn’t have any options and it was an involuntary celibacy. But when it’s purely voluntary and conscious celibacy, it gives you a freedom to connect with people with no agenda or expectations. Celibacy can be quite liberating. I trust the Higher Power, and if It moves us away from sex, I trust whatever replaces it will be much more amazing (such as out-of-body connection at a distance and so forth).

Also a clarification (thanks, Emma, for bringing this up): I have no energy or inclination to judge anyone else’s choices. It is my belief that there is a master plan, and that everyone will get a happy ending to this dream. That means everything you are doing is perfect for right now, and everything I am doing is perfect for right now. We can hold that perfection right alongside a willingness to question every one of our beliefs. We contain multitudes.

I share your enjoyment of lively debates though, Emma, so sometimes I say something deliberately provocative to prod myself and others out of habitual thinking. I hope my intention of non-judgment and openness to other views is clear to everyone who reads this blog.

A further clarification: when I said that I “let go” of those goals, I didn’t rule out the possibility that some of those things still might happen in my life. I’m just no longer striving or planning for them. And it was the letting go of the goals that increased my happiness so much and so quickly. My main focus now is to bring all of my energy into the present moment and listen to my intuition moment by moment.

“A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans which it receives through listening to Wisdom that is not its own. It waits until it has been taught what should be done, and then proceeds to do it. It does not depend upon itself for anything except its adequacy to fulfill the plans assigned to it. It is secure in certainty that obstacles can not impede its progress to accomplishment of any goal which serves the greater plan established for the good of everyone.

“A healed mind is relieved from the belief that it must plan, although it cannot know the outcome which is best, the means by which it is achieved, nor how to recognize the problem that the plan is made to solve. It must misuse the body in its plans until it recognizes this is so. But when it has accepted this as true, then is it healed, and lets the body go.”

A Course in Miracles


erika awakening

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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