As 2012 rolls on, I find myself having a more and more difficult time taking anything seriously.

Even when Fritz the Cat was in the hospital, there was a quiet part of me that knew everything would be okay. I went to visit him the morning after I checked him into the hospital, and already my deeper self was saying to me, “This is a cat who is going to stick around for a long time.”

“There is no death. The Son of God is free.”

Today I was called “creepy” in public, and there was the slightest little bit of ego left that still wanted to think this was “bad.”

I quickly reminded myself that “Nothing I see means anything. I see only my past thoughts.” “If I defend myself I am attacked.” And the small defensiveness melted away into nothingness.

Thus, the possibility of having my day, or even a small portion of my day, ruined by a random guy on the internet was averted :)

I have racked up some big and unexpected bills, which will in a linear view of time be coming due in the next month or so. About $5000 in veterinary bills and a similar amount in home repairs. Plus an assortment of other unusual expenses. And I have no plan as to where that money is going to come from. In the past, I would have felt a strong sense of urgency to begin manifesting cash quickly. Even that really is not stirring any emotion in me at the moment. I feel that I’m living more and more in an eternal present, with a strong trust that everything will work itself out without my interference.

I have staked huge amounts of time and energy in several EFT tapping video projects that probably will never see the light of day unless they produce substantial miracles. And my ego mind would like to convince me that everything is ruined … I’m all washed up … nothing truly amazing is ever going to happen to me.

The quiet, still part of me responds simply: “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and patiently.”

Most of the days now, I just follow my guidance. It’s a quiet cycle of checking things off the to-do list, playing with Fritz the Cat, EFT tapping, massages, acupuncture … and quiet.

Certain mantras from A Course in Miracles I repeat over and over again in my mind.

“God is the love in which I forgive you.”

“God is the strength in which I trust.”

“Nothing I see means anything.”

“I have invented the world I see.”

“Let me not deny the Thought of God today.”

“Love holds no grievances.”

“I am entitled to miracles.”

“Truth will correct all errors in my mind.”

Sometimes I peruse the Facebook news feed, and find little to engage with anymore. I say to myself, “My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.”

I’m pretty much done with this world. That’s not a grim thought, nor a suicidal one. It simply represents an acknowledgment that I am ready to exchange the ego’s version of this world for God’s version of it. And there is nothing left in the ego’s version that I want. So, I have mostly disengaged.

I want Heaven, and all of Heaven. I will not accept anything less.

“The hush of Heaven holds my heart today.”

“This day I choose to spend in perfect peace.”

“Above all else, I am determined to see things differently.”

“I am under no laws but God’s.”

Peculiar and delightful things continue to happen to me as I glide down this Rabbit Hole like Alice in Wonderland. The latest is that my night vision has inexplicably improved. It was always very good. Now I don’t even need to use the brights when driving at night to Tahoe. There are certain advantages of saying over and over again, “Above all else, I am determined to see.”

Good night, sweet world. “My holiness is my salvation.”

“I place the future in the hands of God.”