Famous quotation from the Tao:

“Be really whole, and all things will come to you.”

What does this mean in practical terms?

I’ve often said that seduction is a way of transcending the separation.

To be really whole and transcend separation, we must see everything from all sides.

Every brother or sister who shows up on your doorstep (or in your email box or texts) is a gift. He or she is giving you an opportunity to see another side of yourself.

You have two choices: reject the opportunity (in which case a similar situation will occur over and over again in your life until you make a different choice) or find a way to see yourself in him or her, find a way to help each other.

I am frustrated with the community in its often one-sidedness. I go on Rori’s blog and see women riffing on their own feelings, which is great, but I see almost no empathy for men there. On the men’s blogs, I see men becoming more empowered with women, which is great, but I see almost no empathy for women there.

This will not work. The only way for us to have truly harmonious, rich relationships is to see all sides, not from a logical perspective, but from an emotional one.

So … easy way to practice this, is switch roles.

If you’ve been resisting someone’s perspective, find something you can sincerely appreciate about their perspective instead.

If you’ve been the pursued, switch to being the pursuer.

If you are always the giver in a relationship, ask the other person to give to you.

If you’ve continued to say no to someone else’s requests, reach deep inside yourself to the place that actually wants to say yes.

If you are always the teacher, allow yourself to be the student.

People will be amazed that when they allow themselves to step fully and completely into the other person’s shoes, often they will be shocked at what they discover about themselves. And it becomes almost impossible to judge the other person at that point.

In NVC, we call this “crossing the line.”

Do whatever it takes, today, to heal the separations in your life. This is the key to having everything we want.

“Be really whole, and all things will come to you.”