Please note: This article may be perceived as provocative and may offend some people. Please do not read this article unless you are willing to take full responsibility for your emotional reactions to it. To the extent that negative feelings are triggered in you, you can use this article for healing
Recent events have got me thinking about how to explain to the world why my coaching method, Holistic Belief Reprogramming (HBR), is unlike any other transformational technology currently available on the planet, and why it is a quantum leap beyond anything else on the market. Today while I was skiing, the idea for this article came to me through my intuition. Like any explanation of the world, the model presented in this article is overly simplistic and is intended only as a rough guide to furthering understanding of the differences among various “self-empowerment” models.
Here are the five types of thinking that I identified today. Of the five, most coaches will fall into one of categories two through four.
1. Complainers, skeptics, and haters. This category still makes up a very large portion of the population. There are very few coaches in this category because these folks are at a very low level of consciousness (i.e., deep in ego consciousness). These are the people who post on Facebook about being victims of others, about how the “economy” has destroyed their finances, and who don’t see any way out. They do not take responsibility for the outcomes in their life, and when told that there is in fact a way out of their problems, they will often attack the person presenting the solution. They love to accuse other people of being greedy, selfish, manipulative, and a variety of other judgments, and they love making excuses for why they are not willing to try anything new. The irony of this group is that they do nothing but take value in the world, draining other people’s energy, while they point the finger and claim they are victims. When I had less experience as a coach, I used to try to “show the light” to these folks. At this point, my time is so valuable that the effort expended versus value given back is so unbalanced that I simply ignore them. These are the people I remove from my Facebook page. From my perspective, God (who unlike me has no time/space restrictions) is much better equipped to wake these folks up, and He does a very good job of it, usually through “wake up calls” such as near-death experiences and other “rock bottom” episodes.
2. The “fake positive thinking” approach. In some ways, these folks are the polar opposite of group #1. Made popular by the misguided “Law of Attraction” and “The Secret” movement, this crowd thinks they can positive think their way into a better life. Rather than complain all the time, they are posting pithy inspirational quotations about love from the Dalai Lama and Mother Theresa and various unquestioned but lovely sounding cliches on Facebook and doing their best to “avoid” negativity. Problem is, they very frequently are not dealing with the Shadow aspects of their life. They usually don’t want to have any straight talk about God, sex, money, and other huge areas of un-healing on this planet. They are often broke (unconsciously believing despite the pithy quotations that money is “un-spiritual”) and with many other problems, and when challenged directly, will often show their true colors – huge amounts of anger and blame and victimhood – because that’s what is hiding out under the fake positive thinking. I would include in this category the “inspirational” type of coaching where people go to a weekend seminar and get really pumped up about how great their life is going to be, and then two days after they get home, they are back to all their old crappy habits. No real transformation occurred.
3. The “scientific” and “how to” way of thinking. These are the people who still think that the world is physical, and that therefore the secret to a happy life is to figure out the “rules of the game” and apply them. This way of thinking is pervasive throughout the “self-improvement” world and unawakened students flock to this community. The students think the “how to” guru can give them rules to solve their problems. What these students do not understand is that the “how to” guru is merely teaching a system of limiting beliefs. And while the “how to” guru him- or herself may be having some success applying those “rules” (just as I had success applying the “rules” of the legal world while I was still a lawyer), there are two huge problems:
(a) The “rules” are too limiting. Here you have the dating coaches who tell men and women “what to say” and “what to do.” Here you also have the “wealth mentors” who tell people how to invest in stocks, how to make sales calls, how to get more web traffic, etc. etc. etc. But a lot of people don’t want to make sales calls, don’t want to “dress for success,” don’t want to say cheesy pickup lines that feel totally unnatural, and don’t understand that the “how to” guru’s system is not the TRUTH. It is just a system of limiting beliefs and is not necessary to follow all these rules to succeed. In fact, I’ll get to this in a minute, it’s much easier to have success WITHOUT all these rules.
(b) The “rules” conflict with the student’s existing belief system. So if the wealth guru says you HAVE TO make sales calls to be successful, and your own belief system abhors sales calls, guess what? You have a problem. Because the wealth guru may be congruent making sales calls, but you won’t be. Which is why “how to” methods usually produce chaotic or poor results, and even can make your situation much WORSE than it was before. (When I was following “how to” dating methods some years ago, my results got SUBSTANTIALLY WORSE).
4. Transformational and spiritual methods with no holistic foundation. In this category, we include pretty much every non-HBR transformational method on the market today. I would include EFT, tapping and its variants, Reiki and other forms of energy healing, Landmark and its imitators, meditation, Sedona method, Theta healing, and a wide variety of other modalities. All of these technologies have their usefulness, and people do get some results. But most practitioners of these technologies have no “holistic framework” in which to tie all the technologies together and create real healing. Further, because there is no holistic guiding framework, most practitioners of these technologies are applying the technologies only within the limitations of their system of limiting beliefs. For example, they may be able to help you get a better job, but they won’t realize that the way of the future is self-employment and non-hierarchical arrangements. They might be able to help you negotiate a conflict in one relationship, but they will tell you that death and sickness are inevitable aspects of life and the best you can do is “accept” this. Perhaps they can help you release some old trauma from your system, but they can’t help you make more money because they believe making more money is “greedy.” I could give many more examples, but hopefully you get the idea.
In all of the above ways of thinking, moreover, there tends to be a belief in “specialization.” So people think they need to have a money coach, a dating coach, a life coach, a career coach, an image consultant, etc. etc. etc. Problems are treated in a fragmented way instead of seeing that all problems are exactly the SAME PROBLEM and can be solved together and using the exact same method. This leads to the astonishingly bizarre phenomenon that a man, for example, can be an expert with connecting with women and be flat broke (not seeing that the success he is having with women is exactly the same belief system patterning he could use to turn his entire financial situation around, FAST).
All right, now that I’ve outlined these four ways of thinking, I want to help my audience understand why Holistic Belief Reprogramming (HBR) is totally different from – and a quantum leap beyond – any of the thought systems that I have described above. But right now I feel done with writing for the moment, so that’s going to wait for Part 2 of this article … Stay Tuned :)
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Btw, in case you missed it, we have a brand new forum … one of my customers, Ann, is sharing her journey through the the 30-Day Abundance Challenge (learn more about the product here) … CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT ANN’S JOURNEY ON THE FORUM.