How funny … yesterday I wrote about feeling someone sending me love. This morning, I feel someone’s anger. I’m pretty sure whose it is, too. Which is fine. We needed to clear it from our relationship. Lest we forget, I’m well aware that “anger is always of the ego.” That said … as a woman becomes more congruent and her standard for how she’s going to be treated moves progressively upward, sometimes anger is an intermediate phase on the way up the feelings ladder. It’s not vengeful anger, it’s more like “this is bullshit, and I’m not going to take it anymore” kind of anger.
Speaking of anger, I enjoyed Rori’s post today about “friends with benefits,” an arrangement that may work for some people but that I personally want no part of in my life because it feels awful. I encourage women to be very clear about what they want and don’t want with men, and to communicate clear “nos” to what they don’t want.
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Now … on to today’s report. So back in early March, I attended Mehow’s 10SSA SuperConference. 10SSA, for those who are not familiar, stands for “10 second sexual attraction.” The conference was packed, in part because it had both regular students and guys from Mehow’s instructor program.
Through no fault of Mehow’s, I ended up being a little less present for that weekend than I have for other conferences. This was because I lost my wallet on the airplane and arrived in Vegas with one dollar to my name, no credit cards, nothing. After having the taxi driver threaten to call the police and a big drama just to get a hotel room for the night, I was a little preoccupied and basically out of commission until my friend Matrix Guy had the brilliant idea of taking a personal check down to the casino. I had forgotten that, this being Vegas, and I being in a casino … OF COURSE they would find a way to get me cash. Lol :-)
There’s a happy ending to this story, for those of you who think there are no honest people in the world. After I got back to San Francisco, Southwest Airlines called to let me know that they not only had my wallet, but also that it had all the cash still in it. Talk about good karma :-) I do my best to be honest with people, and I find that this creates amazing amounts of good karma coming right back at me.
So back to the conference … here are some things I really liked:
* First of all, I really like Mehow’s book, which is entitled, not surprisingly, Ten Second Sexual Attraction. It’s a real book, for those who are weary of e-books (which I am, so am considering converting my upcoming e-book Spiritual Seduction into a series of videos instead). Mehow’s book is well-organized, easy-to-read with big print, and (appropriately) physically attractive. He has a good mix of theory and actual samples of dialogue.
One of my favorite lines in the whole book is in the section on Friends: “If you have men in your life that aren’t on a path to enlightenment you will have to let them go and find new ones. Note that very few men are on the path to enlightenment.” What I love about this is Mehow’s recognition that this whole “seduction” business is really a path to enlightenment (which only a few people seem to recognize), but he just slides it into the middle of the book with no fanfare. Nice.
* The speakers I saw were great. DJ Fuji always does a nice job. I also got to see El Topo and Kamouflage speak for the first time. They were all great. I missed a lot of the other speakers though, due to the wallet issue and timing of airplane flights.
* Mehow’s introduction used quite a bit of actual video footage in which he was picking up on an actual girl. The footage was effective and made the presentation more lively. I also like that Mehow likes sassy girls! ;-) Not only that, he said “I’m bored of hot girls.” Amen. I love it when a guy is evolved enough to recognize that what really intrigues him about a woman longer term has nothing to do with looks.
* One of my favorite aspects of the SuperConference is that Mehow and the other instructors actually took the guys out. Frankly, I’ve had enough of seminars with gurus talk talk talking. I would like to see way more live action cuz I think guys learn better that way. Plus, the instructors need to walk their talk.
So Mehow set up a private room with bottle service at one of the clubs, and this ended up giving the guys a fun home base for attracting women. Meanwhile, the instructors were out on the dance floor with the guys helping them open sets. In my view, this is the way the business should be run. A bunch of the guys ended up having success with women THAT night. Including a few lays.
Business-wise, I also want to put in a plug for Mehow’s win/win attitude. He seems to be one of the few in the business who has recognized that we all achieve more success by helping each other (linking each other’s blogs, sharing articles, inviting each other to events, etc.). I’d like to see more of that attitude prevailing in the community at large.
Ok, I’m out of time for now … see you all soon.
First of all, Erika nice meeting you @ the Super Conference. I was the guy who sat @ the back and randomly started talking to you the first day. BTW, I was not trying to pick you up lol. Anyways I would like to address the Anonymous poster who was bashing Mehow.
“I KNOW Mehow’s methods work. But they primarily work on unattractive chicks”
Not true, not true @ all. I’ve seen
All this ranting and no one has mentioned the fact that many of Mehow’s customers have been waiting for products for months. And now the 10SSA seems to be more of the same sell a product that you don’t have produced yet. Just read some to the comments on his blog
Someone foolish enough to BELIEVE the stuff PUA’s spit, tried out this line on Erica: “What bothers me are your flawed justifications for (waiting until marriage.)”
Erika hit it out of the park – like any decent chick would….
“…And just what would be “unflawed” justifications for doing so?”
Perfect! lol
But, Erica…
You’re RUINING the fantasy for
Lol :-) I see. And what would be “unflawed” justifications for doing so?
I feel overwhelmed right now. I’m going out to the woods for mountain biking. Would love to hear your thoughts.
I’m not upset with your decision to return to abstinence.
What bothers me are your flawed justifications for doing so.
Don’t push it though, Big Daddy ;-)
Stick with the substance please.
@ Anonymous (5:08 pm 4/10) – yes, I’m well aware that Mehow doesn’t need bottle service, and I’m also well aware that bottle service alone will not get a guy laid. Not even close.
Erika, there was a workshop after the conference… Mehow wasn’t doing charity work, his students were paying big money to go out with him and his instructors at night.
Btw, Mehow doesn’t always pay for a table and bottle service. He does that when he’s shooting and for special occasions. Other than that, he’s sarging without any table… so he can do it. But guys will always find
Dear Anonymous,
(I’m guessing you are the same Anonymous as was upset about my return to abstinence.)
Admittedly, Big Daddy became quite fervent in his commentary over the past couple of days. Perhaps this was a combination of me posting about abstinence and Mehow in the same week, lol.
But he has been including substance and sincere perspectives in his posts, so he
Have the spam filters failed on the comments section for this blog?
I’ve got no desire to read Big Daddy’s narcissistic and self-promotional rants.
One less reason for me to visit this blog.
“There’s no test you pass where they go “here’s your ladies’ man license”
Fair enough. I can see what that can quickly go Reductio ad absurdum.
I’ll just leave it like this:
My contention has been that the so-called PUA’s (and I go after the BEST OF BREED like Mystery and Mehow, cause the others are just clones) are only good at seducing MEN.
That’s where their
Thanks Unreal Dan. For the record I believe you are as real as me. We both keeps it real.
“If you’re a true ladies man, you don’t need bottle service to get with women.”
You don’t NEED socks, either, but you wear them. There’s no reason to go around making labels; there’s no test you pass where they go “here’s your ladies’ man license, go get em tiger”
I should be
To *Unreal* Dan,
OMG, LMAO. Thank you for that! :-)
"I also disagree about the "sassy" thing. "Sassy" does not mean un-feminine. It means flirtatious and unattached to the outcome. It is often a natural side effect of a woman being internally validated and happy with her life."
Erica,
You may have a stronger point here. I have a PERSONAL preference for what we used to call the Sweet & Submissive
Big Daddy Responds:
Erica, you're missing the point.
NO WHERE in his books does Mehow tell his followers that a SIGNIFICANT part of his game is LURING women to some private party room with Bottle Service costing a couple hundred bucks an evening.
But, the DIRTY little secret is that this is a BIG part of his game.
The fact that it's affordable to some,
What I like most about this discussion is the diversity of opinions both in terms of what people value and what they want.
I have no doubt that everyone here knows what they’re talking about–yet they come to radically different conclusions.
Erika values chivalry; BD likes submissive; Mehow likes sassy; I get weak in the knees over expressiveness and kind-heartedness.
If I have lots of money, I want to share it with friends and have fun. What’s wrong with bottle service? What, are you in this PUA stuff to learn how to become cheap and spartan? Life is to be enjoyed; and health experts say that it’s not good to drink alone anyway.
I also disagree about the “sassy” thing. “Sassy” does not mean un-feminine. It means flirtatious and unattached to the outcome. It is often a natural side effect of a woman being internally validated and happy with her life.
As a woman who loves chivalry, I personally don’t see anything wrong with getting bottle service. If a guy can afford it, or if it’s a communal thing where a bunch of people put money in, it adds to the festive mood and creates a nice cozy space to spend some time and get to know people. Providing these things is, to me, very congruent with the essence of being a man.
“Sweet and submissive” isn’t really my thing …Quirky and compassionate can wrap me up and take me home.”
Yeah…I hear that.
A lot of it IS personal preference. My TWO closest buddies want someone more assertive. They’re FAR from feminists. Just a personality match.
But I do think that guys who are turned on by the real assertive, sassy, even Bitchy girls have issues
Hmm. “sweet and submissive” isn’t really my thing either, Big Daddy.
On the other hand, quirky and compassionate can wrap me up and take me home.
Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
“So Mehow set up a private room with bottle service at one of the clubs”
Mehow almost ALWAYS does this when he goes ‘gaming.’
At a cost of a COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS A NIGHT.
Funny, he never mentions that dishing out a couple bills is PART of his ‘Gaming Process.’ haha
You know in Vegas, for just the cost of bottle service, you could get a VERY FINE HOOKER via
Mehow said "I'm bored of hot girls!"
Say, what???
Only GAY guys are bored of hot girls.
No one….NO ONE (straight) gets tired of girls like this – http://hotcelebrity.name/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/cindy-crawford-picture-1.jpg
And she's old now too!
Mehow has already been forced to spend a LOT of time rebutting that gay rep because
Unrelated to your above blog-post…Did you have any parental issues? I did, I’d like to see how you dealt with them if you did have any.
I jumped too soon to conclusions then.
I’ll remember to always take your posts in context; as for my comment, i lived in an environement where anything a girl does equates “she’s a slut” (wearing a mini-skirt, talking to a stranger etc..) evryone is hard headed and that pisses me off a lot so that’s why i got agressive so fast.
much love.
Erika, do you feel what you would call jealously and/or possessiveness very keenly in your life? At the point you’re at now? And if not, did you once? You say that “friends with benefits” situations feel awful — for the reasons you’ve already stated: a lack of emotional congruence, the inherent indecision, etc. What I want to know is this: do the high-flying words above feel the same to you as
hi ans,
thanks for your comment.
I’m not judging it by saying it feels awful. I’m telling you how it feels to me. Whatever other people want to do is fine. To me, it feels awful. So I don’t do it. And there are a lot of women who do it even though it doesn’t feel good to them either. That doesn’t mean it’s inherently “bad,” it means it’s something I’m not interested in.
“It's not vengeful anger, it's more like "this is bullshit, and I'm not going to take it anymore" kind of anger.”
Mhm. There can be compassionate anger & other kinds of worthwhile more-healthy ego anger. I’ve heard that as we transcend where we’re at and grow to include more of what we can be, it also means that regarding some things, it’s going to be “
I’m quite schoked about your judgementalism on open relationships you say it feels “Awful”???!!!.
I agree that you have the right to choose your type of relationships and I’m not here to advocate open relatioships but trust me its not because you didn’t choose a style of living then it becomes “awful” that is precisely the kind of mentality i always try get away from. Even worse some people