More on Deep Comfort Game with Mark Manson, Part 5

Mark Manson turned out not to be an honest person. You can read more about the real Mark Manson here.

This was the article that I originally published before I learned that Mark Manson was being dishonest with me and his then-girlfriend for months while he developed a relationship with me.

***********

A few posts back when we started the series about Mark Manson seducing me, one of my blog readers, Hikaru, left this comment:

Erika I’m interested in your opinions on vulnerability. I recently got into an argument with one of the the instructors for a company I used to approach coach with over the topic of vulnerability. I’m curious what your take on it is. What exactly is your definition for vulnerability? How does it make you feel?

The story I was discussing with my instructor involved my journey out of a self created anti-social nightmare. I continued with my dreams to master both NLP and some form of spiritual healing so I can confidently step into that darkness and guide people out.

Now, and I’d like a girls opinion on this ;) My instructor was saying that this kind of story causes a temporary emotional connection but the “DLV” nature of it causes a long term drop of attraction. My view point was that this kind of story really shows why I act the way I do and shows a vulnerable human side.

Mark Manson aka Entropy PUA has already pointed out that said instructor is “clueless.” Lol :-) Now I want to go deeper into this question that Hikaru has posed.

Here’s one definition of intimacy for you: Intimacy is the willingness to love weakness into strength.

Yes, I came up with that myself. ;-)

Let me tell you a story. A few years ago, not long after my near-death experience, I took a few classes in non-violent communication (NVC), and then I joined some NVC practice groups (where students of NVC practice giving empathy to one another). One night at practice group, I had a particularly moving and transformative experience. One of my beloved instructors, Jesse Wiens, was facilitating the group that night. (In NVC, we tend to use words like “facilitate” rather than “lead,” in recognition of the fact that we are all equals.)

Anyway, this is an ironic story because, that particular night, I was absolutely devastated. Why? Because I had wanted to have an intimate relationship for quite some time, and it just seemed like it was never going to happen. I can’t remember exactly what I was triggered about, but I do remember that I sat on a couch and cried non-stop for over an hour while Jesse offered me non-stop empathy and the rest of the practice group members held the space for me. I felt like a mess. I felt pathetic. I felt hopeless. I remember telling Jesse that it felt like the sadness was bottomless, that no matter how much empathy I received it was never going to be enough, because the deeper I went into the sadness, the farther down it seemed to go. It seemed like I would never be able to experience intimacy, and I was even more frustrated because it seemed like it was so easy for everyone else (ha, little did I know!). I felt alone and excluded and heartbroken.

Well, toward the end of this over-an-hour empathy session, when I started to feel a little better, this exchange ensued between Jesse and me:

Jesse: Would you like to hear how this session was for me?

Me: Yes, absolutely.

Jesse: I am so grateful for you sharing your vulnerability with me and opening yourself like this. It was beautiful to see all that aliveness. That sharing is such a gift to me.

I can’t remember his exact words, but it was something along those lines. And I remember it felt like a door opened for me that evening. This realization that my sadness and desperation was not something pathetic that I needed to hide, but something beautiful to be shared and appreciated. This realization that by sharing myself in that deep and uncensored way I was giving others in the room permission to share themselves without shame.

And the great irony that I didn’t even see at the time was that — right in that moment as I wailed about not having intimacy — I was experiencing intimacy. Granted, it was with a group and an NVC instructor and not with a romantic partner. But what I didn’t realize then was that in that moment I was already practicing the skills that would eventually give me the ability to have the depth of connection that, for example, I am now experiencing with Entropy.

In order to experience intimacy, we must become comfortable with all the dark emotions — the grief, the anger, the jealousy, the vengefulness, the dark ugly shadow self. We must learn to embrace those emotions and see the beauty and aliveness that is reflected in them. That doesn’t mean we wallow in negativity. It does mean that we don’t run away from it, because running away doesn’t work. We must learn to love those dark emotions into the light. By learning to do it for ourselves, we learn the skills to help others do it too.

So back to Hikaru’s question…. Like Mark Manson aka Entropy, I think the instructor you were talking with had some learning to do about intimacy. Hikaru, you said:

The story I was discussing with my instructor involved my journey out of a self created anti-social nightmare. I continued with my dreams to master both NLP and some form of spiritual healing so I can confidently step into that darkness and guide people out.

There is nothing DLV (for newbies, that means “demonstration of low social value”) about that story. As you point out, you were showing vulnerability. This is important because it is by acknowledging our own moments of weakness unapologetically that we give other people permission to acknowledge theirs. However, you were not wallowing in weakness. You were showing by telling the story how you had managed to turn your own negativity into a gift, not only for yourself but for others. To me, that is the ultimate form of DHV (“demonstration of high value”). Your story also reflects your passions, which gives a girl access to a much deeper space for connecting with you. I don’t know what Entropy told you privately by email, but I would imagine that his assessment is similar to mine.

The importance of vulnerability for intimacy cannot be overstated. It’s reflected throughout my relationship with Mark Manson aka Connection Guy (now revealed to be Entropy himself). All along, I have felt comfortable expressing my moments of weakness and dark emotions to him. I have noticed that more than most top PUAs, Mark Manson aka Entropy is willing to do the same, not only in our one-on-one conversations but also on his blog. For example, if a night out doesn’t go perfectly, he shares that as well as his successes. This makes him more real and more approachable. (See an example of his willingness to embrace the dark and light sides together [defunct blog link]).

By contrast, my relationships with guys who are not comfortable with those deeper parts of themselves do not feel as solid. The most solid relationship (including, most fundamentally, our relationship with ourselves) comes from unconditional love and acceptance. Why? Because when you accept all aspects of self and others, your ship doesn’t get tossed by every passing wind. Judgment of self and others is extremely unstable. Whereas unconditional acceptance eliminates reactivity and allows negative emotions to be aired and dissolved. Again, this is not about allowing ourselves and our friends to wallow in misery. It’s about loving them out of misery and back into happiness. It is an art form that, as yet, few have mastered.

So that’s what I look for in men nowadays, first and foremost. How does he respond to negative emotions and other forms of vulnerability? Does he shy away or judge me? Or does he quietly hold the space for me and others … and love weakness into strength?

If you are a man who loves weakness into strength, I predict that — regardless of any superficial factors such as height, physical attractiveness, wealth, etc. — you will have more women in your life than you know what to do with. This is why I write so much about Deep Comfort Game.

*********************************

If you enjoyed this article, please support me by subscribing to this blog, following this blog (buttons in the right-hand sidebar), and telling your friends about this blog. If you have ideas about how to publicize this blog, please email me at erika.awakening@gmail.com. Thank you for your support!! That’s what keeps me motivated to write :-)

Update August 2014: Sadly, this relationship did not turn out very well and a big factor in that was Mark Manson’s dishonesty about his relationship with his girlfriend, his dishonesty with her, his dishonesty about his intentions with me, and so forth. I am still hoping he will see the merit in making amends with me one of these days soon:

Mark Manson: How Not to Attract Women with Dishonesty

Love,

erika awakening