Oh the sadness of losing Harvey the Cat has touched my face for sure … and … I’ve still got it.
Well, hello everyone. Did it grab your attention to talk about sex for purposes of healing?
It has been a long while since I wrote anything here. You might say that I’ve been in a looooooong gestational period … you know the kind where a petite woman gives birth to a blue whale … and umm .. it takes a while to get there.
Forgive me as I am feeling a bit rusty on the blogging side of life. Even this photo is from a previous article. I have new photos to upload! They are not uploading. I am in touch with tech support! Haha.
This photo is good though because I took it one of the nights I was hanging out with the same guy we are about to write about here. Hmm, he needs a name. Let’s call him Neo. Just for kicks.
If you missed the previous posts about Neo, you can go back to The Return of Tantric Dating here.
There has been no consummation yet. When we talked about tantric dating being slow, apparently we meant it.
I’m very intrigued though by the idea that a relationship would be neither full blown “romantic,” nor platonic, nor “friends with benefits.” Nope, he and I are now talking very explicitly about sex for purposes of healing.
Why do I feel optimistic about this?
Because so much healing has already happened in this relationship and without physical contact for the most part. Neo seems to have healer intuition, even though he has an engineering background and works in sales. He has a knack for triggering me in exactly the right ways to bring old, deep traumas to the surface to get healed. And he does what no man before him has had the strength of character to do … he stays connected with me even if I freak out, even if I want to run away … so much so that I’ve almost stopped freaking out.
I have no idea where this might lead, nor do I want to have a lot of expectations. We are in uncharted territory here. I can only say for now that I have a hunch, that we are actively talking about it, and that I’ve never had a hotter sexual connection with a man in my entire life. All of the above means that the healing potential is very high. And that is about the only thing that could entice me into having sex after years of celibacy at this point.
Baby steps here. It’s an incredible feat for me to get this blog post published tonight, albeit without the new photos I wanted to share. We will leave it at that for now …
Love,
Erika,
I understand the concept of “sexual healing” from the perspective of how sex can heal under the right conditions.
However, putting my therapist hat on, I have a different view of how sex can both heal, and hurt, a relationship. In a committed relationship it can do wonders and can heal and bond people. Women especially have that wonderful hormone, Oxytocin, that creates an incredible bond to their partner in a very short length of time. It also helps to heal emotional and psychological pain.
But if the relationship is too new and the total commitment is not there in both partners, then the healing that could take palace gets undone when the relationship dissolves or disinigrates, whichever is the case.
I’ve seen too many cases of how sex has been healing and then just as quickly harmful. The book ” Unprotected” by Dr. Miriam Grossman from UCLA is one part of why I am so cautious about sex in general, and especially in a relationship that is relatively young.
Just my two cents.
Love and light, my friend.
Yes very good points. And that is exactly what has happened a few times. Men who didn’t have the staying power to ride out the big triggers. It’s the reconnection after the triggering that is the key to healing, in my experience.
I would follow it Erika, we put so much into how a relationship or connection should work out, like are they the one, etc, that we forget it’s part of the journey and the benefits these types of connections can bring. Whether they’re someone we end up with for long term or short term, they can bring us closer to a deeper relationship or even prepare us for someone else that is long term. I have thought for some time that sex can be very healing, in fact it occurred to me the other night, so it’s quite ironic you’ve written about this.
Hi Brian, thanks for adding your insights to the post. Yes a new way of thinking about it …
I know how scary intmaicy can be, and how hard it is to find someone who you are attracted to on many levels. I think this healing will be beneficial because it seems like you spent a long time determining if this Neo is he one. We forget sometimes how miricles and manifestations and so connected to lovemaking and it’s with all the work you put into self transformation I feel this is going to take you to the next level because you are willing to go to all those dark places only some of us can handle. Looking forward to another post!!! ❤️?
Hi Katrina!
Thanks for the encouragement. Neo and I are just friends for now and who knows what will happen. All I know is he already helped me with a lot of healing. But yea it feels like time.
Out of curiosity since we are never healed alone what is his experience?❤️ Is he recognizing healing within himself? ❤️This kind of dance if you will…..is an area where I have noticed my hubby and I have a exercised our unconditional love and commitment for each together ❤️
We are still early in this … we will see how it unfolds
What you stated here in the blog in regards to being triggered and him not running away and your freaking out come to a bare minimum level is exactly why I am so thankful and grateful for my husband! He and I have been together for almost 24 years and we have gone through some roads that would cause most a divorce (and almost did at one point which resulted us getting a financial separation for almost 15years). Parenting and financial beliefs didn’t align for us at all during this period of time.
In efforts to make this long story shorter, he and I have stayed committed to each and our marriage through it all! (Our happiness and the healing in ourselves and our marriage is a true testament to the meaning of love and commitment!)
At the beginning of me doing the 30 day sexual challenge [ed. clarification – she is talking about the 30-Day Sexual Abundance Challenge at https://tapsmarter.com/30-days-to-sexual-power/ ], we were sleeping in separate bedrooms. Yes separate bedrooms for almost a week. You see he isn’t at all involved with energy work or HBR; although I think intuitively he is and he just doesn’t know it yet. Anyway, most would think oh my gosh they are sleeping in separate rooms they must have some big problems and most would run away; however I knew this was a huge trigger for me and like you say we are never healed alone.
Well keeping all of this in perspective I intuitively knew (after a lot of tears and getting the Ego under control if you will which was a challenge in itself) I had to do some searching and tune in to myself as well as continue doing the 30 day sexual challenge where I finally was able to have some big shifts. As a result, we were sleeping in the same bed and communicating with each in a way we haven’t done so in years, including our financial separation is now a void as if this year and great healing has taken place.
I know this whole process could NOT have happened if I didn’t meet you, do your challenges, have our sessions and have the basic fundamental understanding of how energy work works from my aunt and more importantly the commitment and the will to keep the commitment with my husband and our marriage as well as the commitment to HBR and myself.
I truly hope this guy brings you true happiness Erika! (As I write this I’m filled with goosebumps all over my body and tears of hope for you and your journey with this guy). Never judge a book by its cover. Sometimes the ones you think are going to be good turn out to be the best.
Keep doing what your doing!
Love you! Cheers! C.J.
Hi CJ, as always, I am so thrilled to hear about your results from Holistic Belief Reprogramming! It’s so much about the deep commitment that you’ve made … that you are getting money miracles, relationship miracles, new career miracles, and so much more. You may have inspired me to write a new blog post about your success from the 30-Day Sexual Abundance Challenge, https://tapsmarter.com/30-days-to-sexual-power/
Erika,
Be sure you have protection. Sex does heal, but it can result in a baby too if you’re not careful. :/
would that be so bad?