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Vegas Seduction, Part 3: How to Isolate the Girl …

Before we begin today, a few important things:

1. In honor of what my coaching system is all about … becoming your BEST, SEXIEST, FREE-EST, HAPPIEST, MOST EXPRESSIVE SELF … I’m sharing another one of the pictures from the NYC photo shoot in March. To me, these photographs are a CELEBRATION … of expression, of sexuality, of femininity, of vulnerability …

2. The 21 Convention, which starts tomorrow in Orlando, Florida. Whether you are a man or a woman, this conference is not to be missed. We have a star-studded line-up of speakers, including yours truly (I will be speaking on Saturday, and it will be AMAZING :) ). http://www.eventbrite.com/event/395489921/erika2010/772379070

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All right, now what you’ve all been waiting for … Part 3 of the Vegas Guy Seduction Series, or more specifically, How to Isolate the Girl …

In How to Attract Women – Vegas (which I recommend you read first, if you haven’t already), we talked about Overcoming Obstacles. The most important takeaway point from Part 2 is that, usually, an obstacle is ONLY AS BIG AS YOU MAKE IT. Often they can be ignored. Often they can be overcome through confident action. But never, never, in your mind, allow it to become a wall. Make a resolution NOW that a day will come in your life where you are going to walk through walls as if they were made of vapor, and then take that attitude out into the world … a REAL MAN uses an obstacle as an excuse to STEP UP HIS GAME.

(This applies to women, too, I have recently learned to have fun with seeming “obstacles” instead of getting upset about them … men “test” us just as we “test” them … and having fun with these “tests” tends to make them disappear VERY quickly … ;) )

So … after Vegas Guy had overcome the obstacle of my male friends, he probably realized there would be lots of continued distractions if we continued to hang out in that foyer with all of my friends …

I don’t remember exactly what he said to isolate me … but I think it was something along the lines of, “Let’s go somewhere we can talk more privately.” The words don’t matter as much, what I remember (and, again, this would rarely work with me … it only worked because he had already established very solid attraction and rapport) is what he DID next …

He turned his body almost 180 degrees away from me, and he put his hand out behind him for me to grab on to …

Notice everything he is doing right here:

1. Decisive/Confident: He doesn’t ask my permission, he just does it, and the only way for me to continue rapport with him is to grab on to his outstretched hand … I would have had to go WAY out of my way to challenge him on this because his body was already moving in that direction …

2. Leadership:
He is leading the entire interaction, from the initial eye contact, to the approach, to the suggestion of talking more private, to the action of moving us to a different location. I never had to think about anything … I never had to “fill” any gaps in his leadership, which is a huge (and very common) attraction killer for me.

3. Kinesthetic: He’s now got us holding hands, and after that, the physical intimacy only continued to escalate … it was a very subtle way to start touching me.

The other thing he’s doing right this entire time is paying his FULL attention to me. Schools of seduction vary on this topic, but as a woman who has dozens of “fun, flirty friendships” with men that never become physically intimate (and I love those friendships, they add a lot to my life and are truly wonderful) … I can tell you that what separates the guys I fall for from the ones I don’t ever get physical with is that the ones I fall for hone in on me. They see something in me, beyond looks, at a soul level, and THAT is the basis for a deeper connection. A man who was trying to “be the life of the party” and talk to all the girls to me is a turn-off when it comes to the choice of becoming sexual …

… another way to say this, is that I have to FEEL A MAN’S INTENSE DESIRE FOR ME IN PARTICULAR in order for me to reciprocate it … If I don’t feel that from him, I don’t feel attracted and I don’t feel the depth of connection that I need to become sexually comfortable with him.

After Vegas Guy held out his hand, which I grabbed on to, he led me to a quieter place in the club, and he positioned us so that his back was against the bar, and I was facing into him, very close. Hopefully you see the obvious here … by doing it this way, he has blocked me from having almost any visual distractions, and he now has visual “control” of our surroundings. Even though I knew 30 of the people at the club, I don’t think I saw any of them the rest of the night … pretty impressive instincts for isolating a girl without moving her more than 20 feet from the original location.

What happened next was PURE MAGIC … I literally melted into him, and it felt like my heart opened wide … there was a lot of silence and some very important conversation … but that’s for the next article … which will be about how … against all odds … he pulled me back to his hotel room WITHIN ONE HOUR of meeting me …

… which almost never happens to me … and is sooooo MAGICAL when it does :)

Truly a Master :)

Stay tuned for Part 4: How to Pull the Girl

xoxo,
Erika

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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Comments

  1. Debi says:

    Ohh noo…I was just getting all psyched up to read the next installment when I read your comment to William “He has hooked up with over 1000 women … so he’s had a lot of practice” Sadly, a flag went up. I realize this story isn’t about a love affair. I’m just so weary of guys that would brag about their conquests. Too much information. It seems like when a guy says something like that he is either bragging or expecting You to tell him your statistics. Either one, is going to bring me some uncomfortable feelings. So he has lots of ‘practice. I kinda like a guy who has some staying power in relationships. I’ve met too many guys who are great at picking up women. Then due to their immaturity or whatever they feel compelled to move right on to the next conquest. Good luck to them. I don’t care for guys with no character. Now if its just a Lance Romance & an awesome night in Vegas to fondly recall, go for it. But there’s too many diseases out there & that kind of statement speaks vollum’s. What kind of man feels that he needs to talk about himself with “Ive been with over a thousand women?” I would of probably said something smart alecky like “WOW Can I get your AUTOGRAPH? Maybe its me. I wonder what a man would think if a women says this?

  2. William says:

    Erika,

    With you being a dating expert. Do you think vegas guy is a natural? or do you think he has learned what he knows through coaching/bootcamps etc. I am sure you can tell it by the experience you have.

    William

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hi William,

      Thank you for a very fascinating question. I don’t yet know the full answer myself. He’s definitely not a “community” guy. But he’s not a fully unconscious natural, either. If he is a natural, he’s a very conscious natural, and he has his own non-community lingo for what he’s doing. I may publish an article soon with some of his perspectives on it, it’s a very empathy-based form of seduction.

      He has hooked up with over 1000 women … so he’s had a lot of practice :)

      What do you think, if you had to guess? ;)

      - Erika

  3. Fuzzmeister says:

    Mmm, all pretty classic seduction techniques. Well applied, mind you. However, I’ll suggest that what truly opened you is you. The obstacles (men’s low skill level) to seduce you are indeed, as you mentioned, created by you. Of course, this man’s ability to connect helped you being more open than with the rest of the usual pick up artists that approach you.

    Personally, I tend to filter based on the woman’s ability to connect (unless her quirkiness catches my attention enough). Also woman who simply assumes without curiosity or who is unable to connect simply gets passed over to someone more interesting. Your assumption that those who pass your overall are lesser men does not always apply…

    :-)

  4. Markus Dan says:

    Very good post and very new blog!

    I like your ideas and attitude…

    greetings from Vienna and keep on your excellent work!

    Markus

  5. Wows says:

    Nice! I really like the series, can’t wait for part 4! I really like to read your perspective on things…

  6. Ryan - Gettherightgirl.com says:

    You want commentary? You got it ;)

    Just did an analysis of what Vegas Guy did right with Erika, IN ADDITION to what she noticed… for the interested, here: http://bit.ly/9T1iRg

  7. Brian says:

    People’s tests are just defense mechanisms

  8. RJ says:

    OMFGE this is amazing shit, thank you for posting.

    I would LOVE it if sometime soon you’d write about the ways men test women. I assume for most of us guys it’s as unconscious as when women test men–and elaborating on this kind of thing will probably go a long way in helping guys realize what it feels like when women test them: most times it’s completely unconscious and they aren’t even aware they’re doing it. I think framing it this way would help a lot of guys let go of the resentment they have towards women, based on their ideas that women are consciously choosing to test (and often reject) them. Make sense?

    Looking forward to the rest of the series =)

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Hey RJ,

      Thanks for the comment. That’s a great article idea. I put ‘test’ in quotation marks because it’s a bit of a misnomer … I believe very few people are consciously ‘testing’ others. ‘Feeling out’ is probably a better term … People unconsciously say and do things to see how the other person responds, and so I’m generally looking for a kind of integrity in a guy’s overall picture … Too much to explain in a comment :)

      thanks again for the feedback … :)

  9. Rod Lion says:

    Great Series and fun reading,
    Thank you.

  10. Pink-Dragonkun says:

    I like his style. very much like jugglers.

    You said that both guy and girls give tests… but the only test I ever knowingly give is an age test. I wonder if maybe we all give out tests subconsciously?

    With Hope,
    Draco D.

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