10 Reasons Why Being Single or Celibate Does Not Have to Be a “Bad” ThingIf you have been single or celibate for a long time, you may be very frustrated but you are not alone. There are major shifts in global consciousness occurring right now, as the Divine Feminine awakens to meet the Divine Masculine. And many of us have been single or celibate for a long time – in some cases, years – as part of a purification process that is paving the way for spectacular relationships and sex. Rather than let fear and self-doubt get the best of you, why not make the best of your single and celibate time to develop yourself? In this article, Erika Awakening shares ten ways you can purify yourself and prepare for the best sex and relationships of your life.
By way of background, I have been mostly celibate for the past eight years. And I won’t lie to you. There have been moments of extreme frustration and self-doubt during that time period. The ego wanted to beat me up and insisted “what is wrong with you that you have not been able to figure this out?” It is similar in many ways to how frustrated and self-doubting I was about two years ago with my business (you can read more about that story here). I was making so little money in my business that – after a particularly frustrating trip to New York City in the summer of 2010 – I almost threw in the towel and quit my business. This past week, I made over $40,000 in my business in ONE week. All I can say is THANK GOD I DID NOT GIVE UP.
Nowadays I can see the big picture of life a lot more clearly. My emotions are steadier. The ego and all its nasty self-doubt no longer has any credibility with me. And I can feel the natural rhythms of life and flow with them. So nowadays instead of beating myself up for being single and celibate, I am using this precious time for self-purification and preparation for the best sex and relationships ever.
Here are 10 Ways You Can Get the Most Out of Your Single Time and Prepare for Love
These 10 ideas are all about developing yourself to be healed and whole. In other words, become your best self so that you are truly ready to love someone else when the time is right.
#1 – Develop Your Presence
Our society destroys people’s ability to be fully PRESENT. People worry about the past and the future. A very high percentage of people are on dissociative drugs and over-medicated for depression, anxiety, and A.D.D. All of this is anathema to real intimacy. If you want to be someone who can fully “be there” for a partner, you must first learn to be “fully there” for yourself. And that means no more dissociation.
One of the best ways to develop your presence is a daily meditation practice. I meditate about eight hours every night while I sleep using this amazing sound technology. There are other ways to meditate but in our society the pull of distractions is very strong. Be honest with yourself. If you need help to have a steady and powerful meditation practice, get the help you need.
The benefits of meditation are huge. You will look and feel younger, have more clarity of thought, be less reactive emotionally (after an initial purging where you may temporarily be more reactive, just let this pass), and have much more powerful intuition. Perhaps most importantly, you will be more present. And presence opens the space for true love and much better sex.
#2 – Eliminate Co-Dependency from ALL of Your Relationships
In the new global consciousness, co-dependency just won’t work. Co-dependency happens when we fail to get ourselves healed and whole. Then we allow others to abuse and disrespect us because we do not have the inner strength to stand up to them and set healthy boundaries. It is essential to eradicate these patterns from your life so you can begin a new love relationship on a solid foundation.
In my coaching work with private clients, I discovered that there are certain energetic patterns that must be shifted to eradicate co-dependency. Masculine and feminine energies must be balanced. Old hurts about broken promises and unreliability must be healed. All seven of the seven chakras must be cleared of trauma and opened and balanced. In particular, the power center of the third chakra (solar plexus) must be strengthened so that healthy boundaries can be set. Traditional counseling is very ineffective for healing these patterns, so I urge you to explore the power of energy healing instead. (For more information, click here.)
If you are like me and grew up in a family where abuse and trauma were daily events, you will really need to commit yourself to changing these co-dependent patterns at a very deep level. Daily EFT tapping is the most effective method I have found for reprogramming yourself to have healthy relationships.
#3 – Get Your Finances in Order
How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping Get Your Finances in Order
Having a healthy financial picture is a big part of ending co-dependency. The old model of one partner who makes all the money and another who is financially dependent is an inherently co-dependent pattern that will not survive the new global consciousness. It is just too easy for inequality and abuse to creep into a relationship where one partner has no bargaining power because he or she is financially trapped. Nowadays there are wonderful ways to run your own internet-based business. New options for making money by helping other people are becoming available all the time. Invest in How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping so you can stand on your own two feet and feel confident in your new relationship.
#4 – Develop Body Awareness and Strength
Having a great relationship and off-the-charts sex requires being grounded in your body. When you are single is a great time to explore various forms of active and passive bodywork. On a weekly basis, I receive acupuncture and deep-tissue massage. I also have a private Pilates trainer and yoga instructor. There are many forms of massage and yoga, and it is fun to explore them. It also develops incredible body awareness. Find practitioners you love and trust, and love yourself enough to invest in yourself with these and other forms of bodywork. The benefits are priceless. Deep tissue massage can bring long-submerged grief and anger to the surface to be released. Yin yoga is my favorite, and increases your ability to receive energetically. It also just feels blissful. By investing in bodywork on a regular basis, you will become more aware of your emotions, more comfortable and happy in your body, and it’ll pay off later with better sex.
If you think you “can’t afford” to invest in yourself and get this amazing bodywork, go back to #3 and How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping.
#5 – Develop Your Ability to Surrender and “Let Go”
One of the many things I help people achieve is a “do less and accomplish more” lifestyle. Our culture is so much about doing, and not very much about being. Unfortunately, we as a culture are WAY out of balance. Everything we do is affected by this imbalance. One of the most notable areas is that a lot of people are having really lackluster sex. When sex is viewed as a purely physical act without the deep grounding and intimate connection that comes from being centered and present, it’s not really even worth having. Seriously.
Some of the practices I’ve already mentioned are fantastic ways to develop your ability to surrender, let go, and “just be.” Yin yoga will help you find a state of quiet bliss that, in all honesty, feels way more amazing than almost any of the sex people are having. Meditation will help you find a quiet center within yourself where you can quietly accomplish in a few days what once took you months or years (did I mention that I made over $40,000 this past week? ;) )
You may view massage and acupuncture as purely “passive” activities that require no skill on your part. Look deeper. As you receive more and more of them, you may notice what I have noticed. Receiving massage and acupuncture is actually a skill. And as you get better at it, you will find that you can “let go” and surrender to the experience in more and more profound ways. One benefit is that you can enter into a deep meditative state that is a powerful center for manifesting money and other goodness into your life. And imagine what this practiced ability to “let go” and be in bliss is going to do for sex! :)
#6 – Learn Effective and Assertive Communication Skills
Having magnificent sex and relationships is going to require equally magnificent communication skills. If you are anything like me, you learned horrible communication skills in your family of origin. This means if you want to have a new kind of relationships, you will need to make the commitment to acquire the skills that nobody taught you. Be aware that communication is far more non-verbal than it is verbal. People are communicating all the time at a subconscious even when they are “separated” by continents and have not spoken to each other in years. So if you want amazing communication, you will probably need to change the underlying energy that you are transmitting. Words are important, too, but they are really just the cherry on the sundae. My communication skills improved dramatically when I created the 30-Day Effective Communication Challenge, and my customers have reported that they also experienced tremendous improvements in their ability to be heard and negotiate win/win outcomes. You can get started with shifting your energy and communicating in a powerful way by CLICKING HERE.
#7 – Discover Your Life Purpose
The only relationships that will survive the new global consciousness will be those who have a purpose beyond just loving each other. The new relationship has a personal focus and a global focus simultaneously. This means you are your partner will be working together toward a much bigger purpose than just you. And if you don’t understand your own life purpose, you won’t be able to join with someone else and work together on this.
All that aside, I know from my own life and the lives of many of my private clients that life never becomes truly joyous until you discover the reason why you are here on the planet. Once you have a purpose, it gets pretty hard to get you “down” or keep you from your goals. The big picture and your role in it is calling you so powerfully that you feel drawn forward irresistibly. And really it’s one of the most amazing feelings ever.
So, unless you already know your purpose, invest in yourself. Get some coaching. Try out new activities and learn new skills so you can get some clarity about why you are here. I promise you are not here by accident. You have a very important reason for being here, and you will not feel emotionally fulfilled until you figure out what that purpose is. It will also make you a much more attractive and interesting life partner.
#8 – Simplify Your LifeOver the past few years, I unloaded tons of emotional baggage. This has been reflected in my physical world also as I let go of possessions and activities that no longer served me, cleared my space, and paid off my mortgage. Do your best to eliminate clutter, debt, bad habits, and other unwanted debris from your life. Simplify your clothes and your eating habits. Make clear decisions about what is and what is no longer aligned with your deepest values. This will open up space energetically for your true love to show up.
#9 – Get In Touch with Your Spirituality
A good relationship with God, Spirit, Universe, or whatever you want to call It will make a huge difference in your life and your future relationships. It is much easier to end co-dependent patterns, for example, when you have a powerful relationship with God. Having a great relationship with God is really about having a great relationship with your Highest Self. You can find within yourself an infinite Source of happiness, love, self-esteem, power, creativity, and ANSWERS. This will eliminate your dependency on external validation and other people’s opinions and advice. With a solid relationship with God, you can now enter into new relationships without neediness or fear.
#10 – Face Your Feelings and Open Your Heart to Love
Most people – even those in supposedly committed relationships – are carrying around a lot of old trauma and limiting beliefs that are hampering their ability to give and receive love. Our hearts do not fully open until we unload all the childhood and other baggage that we have been carrying around. We are too scared to get hurt again so we find ways to avoid love. The key here is to face our feelings instead of avoiding them. For unloading emotional baggage and changing longstanding defensive patterns, there simply is no better method than EFT tapping. After I created my 30-Day Soulmate Challenge (and tapped it a few more times, shedding lots of tears), I felt my heart more open than ever before. My customers said the same thing happened for them. Learn more about opening your heart here.
So you see, there is no reason to resist being single or celibate. This “alone” time is serving a purpose. It is happening for a reason. And if you stop seeing it as a problem, and start seeing it as an opportunity … you may just find yourself living your way into the most amazing relationship you’ve ever had ;)
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
If you liked this article, you will LOVE Erika's EFT tapping video products and coaching ... Get Started Now: