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The Facebook status update that could change the world …

Philippe LewisThere’s someone I’d like you to meet today. His name is Philippe Lewis, and I’ll be honest with you, we did NOT always get along with each other. To give you a bit of background, Philippe is a pretty remarkable person. In addition to being a husband and a father, he teaches authentic communication, polyamory, and facilitates what I am told are some of the most amazing and intimate sex parties on the planet.

A couple years ago, Philippe and I had a bit of a “run in” on Facebook, and I defensively distanced myself. But you know, over the past couple of years, I have done a lot of healing. And I realize that a lot of times when I was defensive, it was just because someone had touched something painful in me and not because we couldn’t ultimately get along beautifully. The healing I’ve done has also been so effective that I honestly do not even remember what I was upset about in this situation with Philippe. So as time and healing went on, I would see Philippe’s posts in my newsfeed, and I would look for the good in him. Occasionally, I would even chime in and post a friendly comment.

Then this week, I saw a status update on his Wall that blew me away. It was so vulnerable, so powerful, and so disarming that I practically wanted to jump into his arms and give him a virtual hug and a whole bunch of kisses. His status update went like this:

Every once in a while comes the time to ask for feedback.

Have I impacted you negatively in any way? Are you left incomplete by an interaction we had? Please let me know here or message me privately.

What you should know before you share: My goal is to hear you fully and get the impact so I can care for you better in the future. And, if needed, to make amends.

The road to learning and grace is paved with mistakes and unfortunate accidents. I’m here to learn and be a better man, person, friend, husband, father and so much more.

What courage to open himself completely to NEGATIVE feedback. What courage to offer to make amends if necessary. What maturity to understand the importance of completion in relationships. What absolute responsibility and impeccability.

And, as I began to think about it, I thought, “my God, if all of us were willing to be this accountable, this open, this vulnerable … the world would be instantly transformed.”

I thought about posting this status update on my own Wall, and I’m not going to lie to you. It feels vulnerable. It immediately got me thinking of any relationships that might not be complete. When you post something like this, you don’t know what is going to come back to you … that’s where the courage is.

My next line of thinking went like this: “I need to learn from this man. Here is someone who is not telling me he can help me have better relationships. Here is someone who is showing me, by living it.” There is no greater persuasion than that. Here is someone who knows how to love, and how to teach love.

If you really think about it, too, a man would need to have skills like this to do what Philippe does. Can you imagine facilitating these intimate sex parties, with all the potential for hurt feelings and misunderstandings and conflicts – and being able to do it in a sustainable, long-term way with ease and grace? Let’s face it, those are communication and intimacy skills that most people don’t have yet.

So with Philippe’s permission, I have re-posted his epic status update here. And if you would like to connect with Philippe on Facebook, and see for yourself this maestro of intimacy and sustainable polyamory …

Are you brave enough to post something like this on YOUR Wall?

PostScript: unfortunately, it turned out that he doesn’t practice what he preaches so I can no longer endorse this. Being open to feedback about impact means being open to feedback about impact, and when push came to shove, he wasn’t. Ah well.

Love,

Erika Awakening, High Priestess of Miracles at TAPsmarter

About the Author:

Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening

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Comments

  1. Wizard of OZ says:

    “I feel very disappointed that Philippe Lewis is
    not willing to hear honest feedback about his
    actions and has gone so far as to block me
    and have me removed from a community.
    Mastery of relationships requires openness
    to honest feedback”

    How many people have you blocked or removed from your social sites because you did not want to hear honest feedback?

    The world is nothing but a mirror.

    True salvation, freedom, peace and love is not found by attempting to control or change people or situations. It is not found in commitments or non-commitments or in mono or poly relationships. It is within you sister! I change myself with and the reflections I attract in the world will then change.

    Can you be comfortable enough to let go of the need to control? True pure non-dependant meditation is the key.

    • Erika Awakening says:

      Oh I’m not in control of this situation. God is. :)

    • There’s a difference between honest feedback and being a hater.

      • Erika Awakening says:

        I think there’s a lot of room for not being honest with ourselves when we try to draw a line between the two. If the criticism has no merit to it, why do we need to feel threatened by it?

      • Wizard of OZ says:

        hehehe i thought for sure my original post was going to get banned. Very cool of you to open the conversation! Cheers mi amor.

        By the way although I am aware that there is no true salvation in any type of relationship (out there) I do side with poly relationships as they can help in the process of self transformation by evoking particular dysfunctional emotional patterns in order to dissolve them with meditation.

      • Erika Awakening says:

        Hi Wizard, I’m pretty committed to listening to all feedback even if I feel triggered by it … how else can we become whole except by embracing everything and integrating it? even so I have moments of overwhelm where I sometimes don’t fully live up to this standard, just trying to do a little better every day. thanks for visiting us here :)

    • Brian says:

      So, do you remember blocking me from your page for bringing up the fact that your “likes” are obviously artificial? Have you noticed that you have blocked conversations regarding the way you dealt with your past relationships? Do you notice how in both the Mark situation and the Phillipe situation that you have been quick to pass the blame onto them and taken little responsibility for your own actions and choices? Just asking because it seems that relying on your belief that you “understand” the hologram and others don’t has resulted in separation, bitterness, and disharmony. You often claim that your critics have no standing because they don’t know what you know. But it’s beginning to look like your critics have some valid points that deserve attention/consideration rather than dismissal.

      Just my two cents…

  2. Eric Schmalzried says:

    Looks like I liked you two times, I will post that bit and see what happens, thanks Erica

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