When I’m working with clients, one of the most powerful things we can do to transform their lives is clear their anger.
Anger is one of the most corrosive energies on the planet. If left to fester in the body, it can literally turn into disease. And people don’t often realize that anger is what is blocking them from having financial abundance, freedom about how they live, and happiness.
One of the first things we must do is “un-repress” the anger. Most of us grew up in environments where nobody taught us how to use anger in productive ways. As a result, I see people carrying out one of two patterns, or sometimes both: denying/repressing the anger, or acting out the anger in destructive ways. Neither strategy is helpful.
Many people I work with don’t even realize how angry they are until we start using my Holistic Belief Reprogramming system to “un-repress” the anger. They say “I’m not angry.” Yet, when they talk, they are full of judgments and criticisms and “anger phrases.”
What are anger phrases? They are ways of giving away your power in language. All “enemy images” (a term I learned from non-violent communication and Marshall Rosenberg) are full of anger. So if you accuse anyone of being a fraud or a bully or a [fill in the blank], I guarantee you are angry. And that your anger is pretty far outside of your conscious awareness. When we use enemy images, we give our power away by making something external into something it’s not.
Other anger phrases to be conscious of are things like “he made me sad,” “I had to,” “I had no choice,” “I was just defending myself,” “she forced me to,” and “this is just the way life is.”
All of these phrases are ways of deceiving ourselves and giving our power away. You do not “have to” do anything. And nobody can “make you” feel anything. It’s all an inside job.
Much more empowering, though often very challenging for people to make the shift, is this statement: “I am responsible for the world I see. I am responsible for all of my interpretations. I created this, and for that reason, I have the power to re-create it the way I want it to be.”
You may still not know where to begin (that’s where I can help you), but at least you’ll be taking the first step to taking your power back.
An important thing to realize about anger comes from A Course in Miracles, which teaches:
“Perhaps it will be helpful to remember that no one can be angry at a fact. It is always an interpretation that gives rise to negative emotions, regardless of their seeming justification by what appears as facts. Regardless, too, of the intensity of the anger that is aroused. It may be merely slight irritation, perhaps too mild to be even clearly recognized. Or it may also take the form of intense rage, accompanied by thoughts of violence, fantasied or apparently acted out. It does not matter. All of these reactions are the same. They obscure the truth, and this can never be a matter of degree. Either truth is apparent, or it is not. It cannot be partially recognized. Who is unaware of truth must look upon illusions.”
Nobody is ever angry about a fact, only about an interpretation. And remember, if you’re angry or criticizing anyone or anything, you’ve chosen an interpretation that weakens you … so all you’re doing is giving your own power away.
Fear also comes from interpretations, not from facts.
Two people can be faced with the exact same factual situation, and respond to it entirely differently based on their interpretations. One person will allow the situation to debilitate himself, because he’s making it mean that he has no power. The other person will use the situation as an opportunity, because he didn’t give his power away.
Each person’s beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies. So, for example, one person may assume that a “negative” event is going to hurt his business. The other person will reach for a “better feeling” interpretation and may assume that the “negative” event, paradoxically, will HELP her business.
Each is likely to look for and find evidence to support his or her beliefs.
This is why “critics” and “skeptics” keep themselves miserable. They think they are protecting themselves. They think if they are more “careful” to “avoid getting ripped off,” that they will be safer. What they don’t realize is that by assuming it is even possible for them to get ripped off, they create the possibility and then look for evidence to support it. Which is why you see “negative thinking” people attract more and more negative results. They are creating the results with their minds, and often they have created a whole negative reality for themselves that has nothing to do with what’s going on in the world around them.
I can tell you that I virtually never get “ripped off.” This is because I have financial integrity. What is within a person gets reflected in the outside world as well. It even goes so far as that when I lost my wallet on the way to Vegas one time, it was returned to me with everything (including the cash).
Now, you may ask, what do we do with a person who is already full of anger, judgment, and criticism? It’s not very effective to “advise” that person not to be angry anymore. It’s not very effective to “advise” that person to become a positive thinker. Indeed, such “advice” will usually just create more resistance within that person.
Rather, we will take an entirely different approach. Instead of advising my clients from the outside, I step deeply into their existing perspective. During sessions, I ask my clients a LOT of questions. Not the kind of “loaded” questions that many people are accustomed to, but sincerely curious questions. If I’m going to help someone, I need to understand their world view from the inside out.
Once I have a deep understanding of how they are perceiving things, I use a combination of non-violent communication (empathy), tapping, Shadow principles, and other techniques that I have developed over the years to help the person unravel the judgments until they can see (at an EMOTIONAL, not logical) level that their negative beliefs are not true.
This results in an organic shift, where anger is released and replaced with joy. Negative beliefs no longer seem “true,” and as a result, they stop becoming self-fulfilling prophecies. The person’s “vibe” changes. They start showing up differently in the world. And then they start getting better results.
All because we removed the anger, judgment, criticism, blame, shame, skepticism, bitterness, and so forth, out of their system.
Most people experience this transformation with a mixture of relief, surprise, and empowerment. Suddenly, they can see why I talk about miracles and say that “anything is possible.” Because now they can FEEL what I’ve been talking about all this time.
So the next time you find yourself judging, criticizing, blaming, getting angry … I invite you to explore it … get present with the anger, and begin asking the anger questions …
- What am I making this situation mean about me?
- What does this situation remind me of?
- Why do I feel powerless in this situation?
- What am I scared will happen?
- What are the limiting beliefs that are operating in this situation?
- What if those limiting beliefs are not true?
- Is there another way I could see this situation?
- And so on …
If you’d like to experience for yourself how we transform anger in sessions and liberate you to have the life of your dreams, sign up for my intro session here.
Some people are a little scared to try out my method, because it really is revolutionary. It incorporates tapping but it’s so much more than tapping … it’s an entirely new method for solving problems.
But those who do try it are glad they did. A little known fact about my business is that my conversion rate from intro sessions to longer-term programs is VERY high. This is because my words here on this blog can only express so much, whereas when people experience the method for themselves, they can FEEL what I’m talking about. They can SEE the results. And nothing is as persuasive as your own experience.
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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