What Is So Powerful About Empathy?
Mark Manson and I originally “bonded” because of our seemingly similar approaches to empathy and vulnerability all the way back in 2008 and 2009. Unfortunately it turned out that Mark Manson was using empathy in a dishonest way. I cannot caution enough how important it is to be honest when using this powerful tool.
Here is the original article about empathy and vulnerability:
If you hear the girl’s painful feelings as criticism of you, then it’s much harder to connect with her. If you defend yourself instead of putting yourself in her shoes, then it’s much harder to connect with her.
A girl’s painful feelings are not criticism. They are an opportunity to connect with her.
I wish the whole world would read Marshall Rosenberg’s work.
Btw, on the topic of empathy …
Someone suggested that I wasn’t really ready for polyamorous relationships because I haven’t put myself in enough situations like that one I described in earlier posts such as this one — to get triggered and get through all the emotions blah blah blah. And while he certainly has a point about putting yourself in situations where you get this stuff out and get desensitized to it, I really disagree with his conclusion.
The fact is that one of my stronger emotional connections right now is with Connection Guy (see posts about him Mark Manson and here), who has sex with a lot of women. The way Mark Manson aka Entropy aka Connection Guy handles our communication, though, is very gentle and empathetic. Mark Manson always makes clear how important our connection is to him, and when he’s occupied, he lets me know when he’s going to reconnect with me. Mark Manson leading the relationship in this way creates a space where I feel very calm and able to open up my femininity to him.
And since I’ve been getting so much flak from guy friends about hanging out with PUAs, let me say this. Mark Manson aka Connection Guy has been rated as one of the top PUAs, and he is a perfect example of why I believe the seduction community has so much to offer the world. The guys at the top of the game have learned relationship skills that go far beyond just picking up women.
With enough empathy and sincere caring, I’d be willing to bet that almost any situation can feel good to a woman (see what I wrote below about needs not being in conflict). Ultimately it just doesn’t matter to me that much who a guy is having sex with, what matters is the emotional experience I have with the guy.
I want to feel good, so I gravitate toward men like Mark Manson who give me that experience.Erika Awakening Note August 2014: Unfortunately Mark Manson did not continue with empathy. Instead, he turned to defensiveness and excuses. And sadly after I was one of his biggest fans, this is where we are today:
You may also enjoy this article curating a long list of my “how to attract women” blog posts:
How to Attract Women – The Ultimate Guide
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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