Let’s talk about sex …
I dunno why I feel compelled to write about this today, but I do …
Here’s the question:
How many women do you think are having real orgasms in the world today?
I would bet you that the percentage is shockingly low.
I would bet there are lots of women out there faking orgasms who don’t even realize they are faking it.
On most porn, for example, the lack of believable female orgasms is very noticeable for any woman who has actually had a real orgasm. The muscular contractions of a real orgasm are unmistakable and cannot be convincingly faked.
And how do I know so many women are probably NOT having orgasms even though they think they are?
Because I was having sex for EIGHT YEARS before I had my first real one. And before that, I just assumed I was having orgasms … but I wasn’t.
In some ways, ignorance was bliss. Because frankly most men out there have no clue how to make a woman orgasm for real, so in a way it was easier on both of us when I expected so little from sex.
Now that I do know how to have a real orgasm, having sex the old way doesn’t really do anything for me anymore.
Same goes for tantric sex by the way. I bet most people who’ve taken tantric sex workshops have never really experienced tantric sex.
I never took any workshops, but when I experienced tantric sex for the first time spontaneously, it was similar to my first orgasm experience. Suddenly you have the realization of what you have NOT been experiencing, and the surprise: “Wow, really? I didn’t even know this was possible.”
There is still an unfortunate prevalence of people out there doing the “wham bam thank you ma’am” form of sex, and viewing any further exploration as “too much work.” Way too many men taking it as a blow to their fragile self-esteem if the woman doesn’t have an orgasm pretty much immediately with a little bit of fingering and tongue.
(If she does come that easily, it could be she’s the rare woman who happens to climax very easily … but I got bad news for you guys, it’s more likely she is faking it or doesn’t even know what an orgasm is.)
Having experienced what is possible, the old way just doesn’t do it for me anymore … I’m feeling very sexual lately, and this is about jumping into the deep end of the pool. If you can’t handle the heat, don’t come in the kitchen.
The only men I want to be in bed with at this point in the game have a lot of experience, rock solid self-esteem, and a sense of adventure and endurance about sex … are not going to get their boxers in a knot if they can’t produce an instant female orgasm … are enjoying the journey not obsessively focused on the destination … not to mention they also need to have emotional intimacy skills, which are even more rare.
Can you embrace me as a woman, or are you going to show up with “baby wipes”?
And did I mention … a sense of humor in the bedroom is also greatly appreciated :)
What do you think — how many women are really having orgasms? ;)
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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