For a long time, I knew this day was coming. Everyone has an area of their lives that has caused them the most pain. Mine is sexuality. Ah, the broken promises and shattered hopes in this area of my life. The men who, probably mirroring me at the time, were so immersed in ego consciousness, they did not have the emotional capacity to hold space for any real transformation. The pain, the shutting down, and the seemingly insurmountable emotional barriers to EVER opening back up again.
Fortunately, God is just. And we can all expect that our greatest source of pain will ultimately become our greatest victory and source of joy.
That time has come. I have long been teaching that Heaven must be brought to Earth. There tend to be two camps of people in this world, and neither camp is going to be able to solve the world’s problems. The first camp is stuck in the physical world yet skeptical of God and cynical. The second camp is stuck in the spiritual world. And while their pithy “positive thinking” sounds great in theory, it fails to solve real world problems. We will solve our problems when the spiritual and the physical have been fully united.
I always knew this delving back into sex must happen. Avoiding sex was not the answer, just as people with money problems do themselves no good by deciding that money is “bad.” And with money, it was easier for me to merge the physical and the spiritual. Sure, I had a lot of limiting beliefs about making money as a spiritual teacher and I did a lot of inner work to free that up so I could be sustainable. Yet to me, it’s just obvious that money used in spiritually aligned ways is meant to be abundant and freely available. Nobody is meant to be poor and deprived. And I have successfully How to Attract Money with EFT Tapping.
Sex was another matter entirely. It felt like there was an electric fence around sex for the past many years. So much trauma had accumulated around it that I kept getting re-traumatized over and over again. Which ultimately led me to be celibate. It did not help that I did not have the conscious awareness to choose the right men. Unfortunately, our world has taught a very ego-driven version of sexuality, where many men think it’s okay to treat sex as a conquest without any regard for the emotional impact of that on the other person. And I simply did not have the conscious awareness to choose emotionally mature men who would have the emotional skills to help me transform sex rather than turn it into yet another trauma.
Then, over the past year, I created all these 30-Day Challenges. A lot of healing happened. I needed closure with my ex, and we were back in communication for about four months. That was quite liberating for me, because I was able to see clearly for the first time that this man simply does not have the emotional or communication skills or spiritual foundation to create the kind of intimacy that I want. It is somewhat bittersweet to realize I could have a six-month relationship and plan a future with someone without understanding that. Yet, it was liberating. And finally I could just say goodbye to that and understand it was a learning experience not meant to be anything more.
I learned something really important from that relationship, and that is that I will NEVER AGAIN be involved with any man who has not committed to learning my transformational system. My system can solve any problem, and any misunderstanding, if two people are committed to using it together. My system unites people and leads to always happy outcomes. Which means as long as I stay true to this commitment, I will never again have to deal with a man who disconnects and abandons and runs away instead of facing things and getting them resolved. And I don’t plan to deal with that kind of immaturity ever again.
The last three 30-Day Challenges (Anger Releasing, Worthiness, End Guilt & Self-Punishment) have been especially freeing. I feel much happier.
And lo and behold, a man who had already been in my life “made his move” and took our relationship to the next level. His communication and emotional relating skills are excellent. He is grounded and calm. He is very experienced with spirituality and transformation, and we are already talking about approaching sex in that way. There is no rush. We are both pretty immune to time at this point. We will just let it unfold. Most importantly, this feels very emotionally “safe” to me. Like I have finally found a situation where I can transform sex instead of being re-traumatized.
The other night, in my yin yoga class, I could feel my sexuality opening. And it was as if this man were there with me. My legs were spread wide open so we could open my hips, and he had one hand inside me and one on acupressure points on my abdomen. I could feel myself opening, opening, opening, and my sexual energy flowing. My heart was open and receiving. I felt really safe with him. It was really erotic. When I got out of class and checked my iPhone, he had sent me three messages in a row right as I was seeing this vision!! AND later he said he had seen part of the same vision I had. It’s a really powerful connection, and I am excited to see how it unfolds … :)
Ultimately, it is my intention to help my clients and customers experience a fully embodied Heaven on Earth. This means all “problem” areas are purified, and money, sex, love, and power all become sources of joy instead of pain. My 30-Day Health, Fitness & Beauty Challenge was a precursor to this, and I must say I am feeling really fabulous in my body now. Which makes opening to sex again all that much easier.
Erika Awakening, High Priestess of Miracles at TAPsmarter
About the Author:
Erika Awakening is a Harvard Law School graduate and former practicing attorney. She left the rat race to become a location-independent entrepreneur, holistic life coach, blogger, speaker, healer, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT tapping) expert. Erika Awakening is one of the world's foremost experts on eradicating limiting beliefs and lifestyle design on your own terms. Learn more about Erika Awakening
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