jkrishnamurti.org/krishnamurti-teachings/view-video/can-the-human-mind-be-completly-free-of-fear-part-2-of-4.php

I love your question Erika. When I first come to the awakening about Polyamory, I looked down on swingers as something crude, shallow not able to access the “high” states of love, romance and sexuality I had discovered. As I searched within myself, going even deeper, I began to see the judgment, the arrogance in my attitude. I meditated on the relevance of casual sex. The insight came very clearly that everything has its place. Casual sex, swinging, free love as it was called in the 60s was a way for us to break free from the brainwashing of religion and society. It was a way to shake off the the romantic love paradigm. To get past the selection of mates based on mentally concocted criteria. To come closer to the ideal of universal, unconditional, free love. To break free from the linkage between love – sex – commitment.
I found that the lowest common denominator that i had to breakthrough was pleasure. Religion and society have looked down on pleasure for the sake of pleasure, people hooked on pleasure were called hedonists, self serving or selfish. We were taught to work hard, struggle, earn, deserve, be worthy of pleasure. Thus pleasure was linked with pain. And then to lose the object of pleasure was also painful. From this came the unconscious pleasure / pain syndrome.
The pleasure / pain cycle is a myth, an illusion that has trapped us so deeply that we rarely step outside it or challenge it. Like most issues I find 2 perspectives to view everything: as a physical being, a fragile ego, trying to survive in a competitive, fear filled world or as a spiritual being, indestructible, fearless, connected to the unlimited source of joy, love, peace, wisdom, energy, perfection and timelessness. When I view the world from the latter perspective I am clear that the only purpose of life is pleasure, that everything is here is for our pleasure, that this is the garden of eden, this is heaven, this is the kingdom of god … if we choose to look past the veil. Pleasure is our nature, our essence our birthright. Struggle, pain, hard work, suffering are optional, an option to disconnect from god / source and experience that which we are not.
In reading the book “Sex before dawn” I found that we knew this for millions of years and lived this way. Even today the Bonobos (apes) live in promiscuous tribes, sex is a form of social interaction that holds the tribe together, generates warm loving feelings between everyone, generates lots of oxytocin, lots of pleasure filled energies that make them live in harmony and peace. In contrast humans limit, restrict and deprive each other of their natural birthright of abundant sex and this leads to the need to possess, grab, fight, control and make war. The hippie slogan of “make love not war” suddenly makes a lot of sense.
Having said all this, there are many levels of pleasure. The first level is pleasure for the sake of pleasure. No conditions about deserving, earning or being worthy. Unrestricted pleasure! Then in time you realize that what felt good at first gets routine, boring and you want more. This opens the door to heightened states of pleasure. Some seek the dark side, such as pain, bondage, submission and find pleasure where none could imagine it existed. Some turn to substances to simulate pleasure. I use the term “dark side” for contrast and without any negative connotation. Others explore ways to raise their energy, clear their wounds, meditate, raise their consciousness and experience heightened orgasms. Even this is a lot of work. I prefer a more natural aligning with my soul / essence and letting it guide me, knowing that I am perfect, knowing that everything I need is already inside me and all I have to do is to allow myself to enjoy this magnificent world, this beautiful body and this wonderful opportunity called life.

Hi Rohit,

Thanks for commenting. I feel curious how you use the word pleasure as I find not everyone uses it the same way.

In my vocabulary, pleasure is not actually something I value. To me, the pain/pleasure duality keeps people stuck on the hamster wheel, and sex for “pleasure” feels empty to me. Of course, that’s using the word the way I mean the word. To me, physical pleasure has no value. And the intention of my system is to collapse dualities so that instead we can experience a state of constant joy which depends not at all on external stimulation …

Thoughts?

Beautifully said – thank you :)

Thank you Andy – I appreciate the compassion of your comment … blessings to you :)

Thank you Daniel – I appreciate you leaving your comment here :)